Season Four As It Should Be
by Jewls13
Summary: As early pioneers in the knowing, that when you lose your reason, you attain highest perfect knowing." In a world where actor availability doesn't dictate storylines, season 4, our way. "Its like East and West Berlin without the laughs"
1. Default Chapter

**Title:** Season 4 as it should be

**Author(s): **Jewls13 and Stew Pid

**Rating:** PG-13

**Spoilers:** Everything up until the end of season 3. Jess left, Luke went on the cruse, Lorelai and Sookie bought the Dragonfly, Rory went to Yale....Like I said, everything until the end of season 3.

**Summary:** _Life goes on. And so do we. Just how we do it_...??With some mystery. As the Gilmore gang begins to settle back into normalcy, they discover how strongly the past is a present force to contend with.

**A/N:** Ok. So I was making dinner one night and bitching to my mother of all people, how I thought season 3 has gone downhill and how I have little hope for season 4. I started rattling off some ideas as to what I-the all mightily bum, would do if I were in control. So my mother, in her last attempt to get to me to shut up, told me what she always tells me when I get like that-"Write it." But I know my limitations and so I set out to find people to help me do justice to this crazy idea that I had in my head. I found a whole bunch.

**Special Thanks:**

Stew Pid, one of the best writers I've ever had the honor of working with. My co-writer and my very good friend. She's awesome and without her, nothing would be possible.

Nicolle (Someone) unfortunately isn't a co-writer anymore, but she did such a great job with writing and story boarding, that in our hearts, she still is one.

Marissa (Avid) has been our personal cheerleader since the beginning, and without her, I probably would have given up ten times over.

Cinn (Cinnamon572), my little freelancer, who crosses the line in the sand and always finds time to help me out and pick up the slack when I'm blocked.

Raven who does such a great job of betaing and making this look as pretty as it does.

Special thanks to the people over at F4F for giving me a place to rant and inspiring me. Especially the guys at the Trory board for creating a little lit corner on their sites for me.

With their help and talent, we'll hopefully be able to take the mess that's in my head and turn it into an alternate version of Season 4.

My god, what have we gotten ourselves into.

At the end of each chapter, I'll try to list the songs that I use in the next chapter. If you could find a way to DL them, or even just look up the lyrics that'd be cool. Music inspires me, and I pick each song for a reason. The chapter titles are all songs that, I think, fit the chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own any character that has ever appeared on Gilmore Girls. They belong to Amy Sherman Pallidino. I do however, own any and all characters in this fic that don't appear on Gilmore Girls.

**Chapter 1:** Lorelai and Sookie struggle to get the new inn on ground. Meanwhile in other parts of Connecticut, Rory handles life with Yale and dinner with the grandparents. Back in Stars Hollow Luke faces the proposition of making room in his life for Nicolle...but really, this chapter is about Kirk.

Chapter One: Wide-Open Spaces  


INT. NEW HAVEN

_Rory is sleeping in her dorm room. She wakes up to the sound of the phone ringing. She fumbles for the clock and looks at the time. It is 7:30. She reaches over and picks up. _

RORY: Hello?  
  
LORELAI: Hey, sweets.  
  
RORY: What do you want?  
  
LORELAI: Uh, to talk.  
  
RORY: It's 7:30.  
  
LORELAI: But I have to go to work and you have to go to class.  
  
RORY: Not until 12.  
  
LORELAI: So?  
  
RORY: So the benefit of having class at 12 is that you can sleep in a little.  
  
LORELAI: But you have that review session tonight if I remember correctly, and so I won't get to talk to you later.  
  
RORY: I had the review session last night.  
  
LORELAI: Oh.  
  
RORY: And I had to do homework until 5 so you just woke me up from REM sleep and I am really grumpy right now.  
  
LORELAI: Tell me about it.  
  
RORY: _(nicer)_ I promise I'll call you later, but right now I need to get some sleep.  
  
LORELAI: But I need to talk..  
  
RORY: Call me later.  
  
LORELAI: But I have all of these great conversation topics fresh in my mind now. If I call you later, I'll forget them.  
  
RORY: Give me one.  
  
LORELAI: Well, uh...the dude, with the hair, and the face was...walking yesterday.  
  
RORY: To the envy of Stars Hollow's faceless, stationary community.

LORELAI: He...used to be in a wheelchair! It was a big scandal. One day he was crippled, the next the was jogging around the town square. Everyone's talking about it. Alien forces are undoubtedly at work!  
  
RORY: Do you honestly expect me to believe that?  
  
LORELAI: Maybe?  
  
RORY: I need to go.  
  
LORELAI: _(sighs dramatically)_ Okay. Sleep well.  
  
RORY: Bye.

_Rory hangs up the phone and crawls back under the covers when the phone begins to ring again. She groans and picks it up_

RORY: What?  
LORELAI: _(in a gruff voice)_ Hello? Is this the Pizza Factory? I need a large order with everything.

_Rory hangs up and collapses back into bed. The phone rings again. Rory moans and smacks it on the floor.  
_

**Opening Credits**

INT. LUKE'S DINER

_Lorelai enters. Nicole comes down from upstairs._  
  
NICOLE: I'll see you later.  
  
LUKE: Let me pour you some coffee to go.  
  
NICOLE: _(shortly)_ No. I've gotta run. Call me later.  
  
LORELAI: Bye.  
  
_Nicole looks a her and smiles faintly, scowling once again as she leaves._  
  
LORELAI: What was that about?  
  
LUKE: I don't know. Try to figure out a woman.  
  
LORELAI: Women tend to do that really well. What happened?  
  
LUKE: She stayed over last night and normally, you know, I have to open up so I get up earlier and she gets up a little later. This morning she overslept, and I was busy down here so I didn't notice. Now she has to rush home and get ready before she goes to work and she'll probably be a little late. She's a little obsessive about punctuality, I guess. I have to say, I normally admire that in a woman.  
  
LORELAI: You mean when she stays over here she has to go back home in the morning?  
  
LUKE: She does have to get ready for work, you know.  
  
LORELAI: Why can't she do that here?  
  
LUKE: Her stuff's in her place.  
  
LORELAI: That's a little inconvenient, don't you think?  
  
LUKE: Well, what do you want me to do?  
  
LORELAI: You could be the gentleman and crash at her place once in a while.  
  
LUKE: The diner opens at 6:00 which means I have to be here before. Remember?  
  
LORELAI: Point taken. She couldn't move some of her stuff here?  
  
LUKE: What are you saying? She should move in?  
  
LORELAI: Well, that's not exactly what I was thinking, but...  
LUKE: 'Cause I think she's been hinting.  
  
LORELAI: Hinting?  
  
LUKE: Yeah. She'll say stuff like that.  
  
LORELAI: Like what?  
  
LUKE: Like 'I don't have my stuff here. It would be easier if I could move in.'  
  
LORELAI: See, that's not so much hinting anymore.  
  
LUKE: Well, then she'll add "some of my things."  
  
LORELAI: Huh. Sending subliminal messages. She's good.  
  
LUKE: So you think we should?  
  
LORELAI: That's not my shot to call. But I guess it wouldn't be unheard of.  
  
LUKE: She can't move in. There's no room up there. I can barely live there myself.  
  
LORELAI: Well, it wouldn't be the first time that place has held more than just you.  
  
LUKE: _(ignoring)_ And you know how you women have so much stuff. Clothes, makeup, hair dryers, those porcelain dolls and stuffed animals...  
  
LORELAI: Yes, all women have that vast collection of porcelain dolls and stuffed animals. And we take it with us everywhere, and we make our boyfriends learn the names of each one of them.  
  
LUKE: There's just no space up there.  
  
LORELAI: If you say so.  
  
LUKE: I do.  
  
LORELAI: Okay.  
  
LUKE: Stop.  
  
LORELAI: Stop what?  
  
LUKE: Stop that.  
LORELAI: Oh, right. _That_.

LUKE: I can't imagine why she would want to move in here anyway. She's been complaining about noises.

LORELAI: Well, Luke, a Tums before you go to bed might help with that.

LUKE: Funny. No, she says she hears stuff at night. Rattling noises or something.

LORELAI: Maybe you have mice.

LUKE: I don't know. Strange stuff has been happening. Last night there was a half-full carton of milk in the fridge. This morning, it's empty. Nicole doesn't drink milk.

LORELAI: That's not mice, though.

LUKE: Maybe rats.

LORELAI: Mutant rats.

LUKE: You never know.

LORELAI: Uh, yeah. You know, I think I'm going to finally try Al's Pancakes today. See ya'.

_Lorelai leaves. Luke watches her go, smiles, and shakes his head._

INT. YALE CLASSROOM

_Rory walks into class. She looks around, trying to decide where to sit. The students are filing in, waiting for the professor to come. A young man, with short disheveled hair, wearing a T-shirt reading 'Descartes was here (so he thinks)' and sweat pants comes in and up to her. _

YOUNG MAN: Have you ever realized the complexities of seating arrangements on the first few days of class?  
  
RORY: _(startled)_ excuse me?  
  
YOUNG MAN: Yeah, it's an entire unspoken world of fierce competition. Near-blind people and ass-kissers fight for first row seats _(nods his head to indicate those students)_, non-majors and sleep-deprived kids pray for the safety of back seats _(turns her attention to those students)_, and frat guys attempt "surround-and-capture" techniques on sorority girls _(points to those people)_. The worst part is that you have to weigh all your options in a span of about 5 seconds while you pretend to look for the first available seat.  
  
_Rory smiles_  
RORY: I actually had decided on somewhere in this area

_She indicates the middle_  
  
YOUNG MAN: _(Smiling)_ Ahh, safe choice. Mind if I join you?  
  
RORY: Not at all.  
  
_They sit down. Rory smiles awkwardly and searches for something to say._  
  
RORY: So Professor Kopka seems to take the whole fashionably late thing really seriously.  
  
YOUNG MAN: _(laughs)_ But his lateness is about as out of fashion as one of Elizabeth I's dresses.  
  
RORY: _(laughs)_ I still kind of like the one with all the eye-embroidery.  
  
YOUNG MAN: Promise me you'll wear a copy to class next time and I promise I'll get Professor Kopka here on time. He's my mentor, actually.  
  
RORY: Really?  
  
YOUNG MAN: He's at least a half-hour late to all of our appointments, but he's really great.  
  
_Rory is about to say something, someone calls out from further back in the room_  
  
SOMEONE: Hey, Oliver. We saved you a seat.  
  
OLIVER: _(to Rory)_ They can barely breathe without me. Sleep-deprived numskulls. _(Rory smiles)_ I'll catch up with you later.  
  
RORY: Okay.

_Oliver gets up and proceeds to the group he was called to. Rory frowns in disappointment._

INT. DRAGONFLY INN

_Lorelai goes to the kitchen. Sookie is cleaning a mess._  
  
LORELAI: Don't tell me you did it again.  
  
SOOKIE: Well, I thought I'd make lunch for the workers again, but I just can't get used to this kitchen. I'm supposed to be able to move around it with my eyes closed.  
  
LORELAI: But before you can do that, you're supposed to actually look at it.  
  
SOOKIE: There's supposed to be a counter there.  
  
LORELAI: No. There was supposed to be a counter at the Independence and there was one. This is a different place. You have to respect its individuality. If a chef and her kitchen don't get along, what have you got?  
  
SOOKIE: Butterscotch sauce on the floor.  
  
LORELAI: Now say you're sorry to the kitchen and let's move on.  
  
SOOKIE: I'm sorry, kitchen.  
  
LORELAI: 'Atta girl.  
  
SOOKIE: So, what's up?  
  
LORELAI: Ugh. Too much. The floors are all uneven. Had to complain about that. And then I keep getting all these calls while the drills are roaring and Floyd is yelling in my ear about veneer so much that I'm actually rhyming my sentences with it.

SOOKIE: Here have some of this. It will make you feel better.

LORELAI: _(tastes and makes a face)_ That was supposed to make me feel better? I think you're in pregnant mode.

SOOKIE: Oh no, it must be the wine.

LORELAI: Yes, you shouldn't be drinking when you're pregnant.

SOOKIE: I didn't have the wine. You had the wine.

LORELAI: I feel a tingling, but not the tingling you get after a nice glass of wine. More like the tingling you get after a nice three bottles of wine, right before you go worshipping the porcelain goddess.

SOOKIE: I know. See, I usually add a little Merlot for the marinating, but I got a 3 dollar bottle of wine from Taylor's instead because, well, you know, I had run out of the Merlot and, well...

LORELAI: Honey, it's fine. I get it. Times are tight for you, too, huh?

SOOKIE: We're managing.

LORELAI: I'm sorry I dragged you into this.

SOOKIE: You didn't drag me. We both wanted this. And if it weren't for this, I'd be unemployed right now after what happened with the Independence.

LORELAI: You're still unemployed. We're spending money and we're not making any. I'm going to have to start making money in other ways.

SOOKIE: Jackson's been doing some side jobs. Some carpentry stuff. Maybe I could find a side job.

LORELAI: No, Sookie. You guys will be fine.

SOOKIE: What about you?

LORELAI: I can do some odd jobs. Maybe clean out some rain-gutters.

SOOKIE: _(chuckles)_ Lorelai.

LORELAI: Everything will be fine. Just keep doing what you're doing.

SOOKIE: Spilling butterscotch sauce on the floor?

LORELAI: Well, don't waste it on that meat. But _please_ get to know this kitchen.

INT. LUKE'S DINER

_Kirk comes in and walks to the counter. _  
  
LUKE: What can I get you, Kirk?  
  
KIRK: Do you think it's odd for a grown man to still be living with his mother?  
  
LUKE: If your question is, do I think you're odd, then yes, I do.  
  
KIRK: Well, apparently, so does my mother. She kicked me out.  
  
_Luke laughs. He meets Kirk's eye and stop. In gruff voice._  
  
LUKE: Oh. Sorry to hear that.  
  
KIRK: I need a place to stay.  
  
LUKE: You can always go to the Inn.  
  
KIRK: It burned down.  
  
LUKE: The other Inn.  
  
KIRK: It's not open yet.  
  
LUKE: Go see if they have a room ready. You'll pay less for it.  
  
KIRK: How will I sleep with all that noise?

LUKE: I don't know. Nyquil, a valium, whatever works.  
  
KIRK: My mother used to make me warm milk. Knocked me out like a light.

LUKE: If it helps, I can knock you out.  
  
KIRK: Have they completed the asbestos removal?  
  
LUKE: I don't know.

KIRK: How do they rank among other inns?  
  
LUKE: Among other un-open inns, they rank very well.  
  
KIRK: Can't I just stay here?

LUKE: Did Lorelai put you up to this?

KIRK: What?  
  
LUKE: Never mind. The answer is no.  
  
KIRK: I could sleep on the floor.  
  
LUKE: No.  
  
KIRK: In the bathtub.  
  
LUKE: God, no.  
  
KIRK: I'm small; maybe a cupboard.  
  
LUKE: That's where I tend to keep food.  
  
KIRK: The counter.  
  
LUKE: People eat off of that.  
  
KIRK: I'm a surprisingly clean person.  
  
LUKE: The answer is no.  
  
KIRK: Fine. It's been warm these past few days. I guess I could live on the streets. I did hear it might rain tomorrow, but the body is 90 water anyway.  
  
LUKE: Glad you thought of something.

_Kirk walks to the door about to leave. He pauses waiting for Luke's sympathy to kick in. Luke says nothing. He leaves. Luke sighs and goes to the kitchen._

INT. DRAGONFLY  
  
_Lorelai is at the desk crunching numbers. Michel gruffly walks up to the desk_  
  
LORELAI: Well, well, well.  
  
MICHEL: Shut up.  
  
LORELAI: What are you doing here?  
  
MICHEL: This place is a dump. Do I have bugs crawling on me?  
  
LORELAI: Yes, you do, Michel.  
  
MICHEL: Really?  
  
LORELAI: Just saw one crawl right up your ass.

MICHEL: I was beginning to miss your wit. I don't know what got into me.

LORELAI: Well, Michel, it's nice of you to stop by and visit. Would you like a tour?

MICHEL: As much as I'd hate to sit and chat in this rat-infested place, I'm afraid I'm not here to visit.

LORELAI: _(mock shocked)_ Really?

MICHEL: I need a job.  
  
LORELAI: _(amused)_ You don't say.  
  
MICHEL: After the Independence closed I figured I could easily get a job at another inn, perhaps in Hartford, _away_ from you. But, it turns out no one is looking for a concierge.  
  
LORELAI: So, take another job.  
  
MICHEL: _(matter-of-factly)_ I refuse to work any lower than a concierge.  
  
LORELAI: So, you came here.

MICHEL: I assure you it was a last resort.  
  
LORELAI: I'm so touched.  
  
MICHEL: I understand that you have no money and no workers.  
  
LORELAI: Well, with an attitude like that...  
  
MICHEL: Please! I haven't been able to buy my Herbal Essences Body Wash in three weeks! I've been forced to resort to... _(cringes)_ a generic brand.  
  
LORELAI: Wow, you are desperate.  
  
MICHEL: You have no idea.  
  
LORELAI: Well, I'm sorry, Michel, but we're not open yet, hence, we have no positions. We're not making any money and I can't afford to put you on the payroll because I'm not even on the payroll.

MICHEL: You couldn't work something out to help out an old friend. Come on, Lorelai. After all we've been through.

LORELAI: Despite all we've been through, I'd really like to help you, but I just can't.

MICHEL: You lie. You're relishing this moment.

LORELAI: Maybe just a little. Michel, if anything comes up, I'll let you know, but right now, there's nothing I can do.

MICHEL: Very well. But mark my words, I shall remember this day.

_He turns briskly and leaves. Sookie enters._

SOOKIE: Was that Michel?

LORELAI: Uh, yeah.

SOOKIE: Oh, I missed him. What's he been up to?

LORELAI: Apparently, watching too many soap operas.

INT. DOOSE'S MARKET

_Kirk is following Taylor around._  
  
KIRK: Please.  
  
TAYLOR: No. You have no credit, no money for a down payment.  
  
KIRK: So I won't rent an apartment. I'll borrow one.  
  
TAYLOR: You can't do that.  
  
KIRK: I need a place to stay. I don't even have a car to live out of. I've been camping out in the gazebo for almost a week.  
  
TAYLOR: You can't camp out in the gazebo. It's town property. You need permits and authorization, and even if you had that, it's still not registered as an allowable campground.  
  
KIRK: So that's a no on the apartment.

INT. KIM'S ANTIQUES

_Lorelai is having tea with Mrs. Kim._

LORELAI: So. How's Lane?

MRS KIM: Fine.

LORELAI: Does she like her school?

MRS KIM: It's a very good school.

Lorelai; I'm sure it is. Does she like it?

MRS KIM: I just said it's a very good school.

LORELAI: Well, yes, I know. But I was asking if she liked it.

MRS KIM: If it's a good school, why wouldn't she like it? A good school means she learns many things. What else would she go to school for?

LORELAI: Okay, well, that's great, Mrs. Kim.

MRS KIM: How is Rory?

LORELAI: She's great. Yale is a good school, too.

MRS KIM: Yes. But why didn't she go to Harvard?

LORELAI: She decided she liked Yale better.

MRS KIM: Hmm. So why are you here?

LORELAI: Just thought since our daughters are best friends and now they're away at college...

MRS KIM: Lane is not away. Lane is here.

LORELAI: Yes, I know. But she's in college, working hard, learning many things. She probably doesn't have as much time as she used to, you know, to be around the store, helping you with things.

MRS KIM: Yes. That is true.

LORELAI: You know, I just has a flash.

MRS KIM: You should go to the doctor. It's too early for you. You're so young. Why are you so young with a daughter in college?

LORELAI: Uh, Mrs. Kim, flash, focus. What I meant was, I just was thinking, maybe I could help you around here.

MRS KIM: What do you know about antiques?

LORELAI: If you break it, you buy it.

MRS KIM: That's good.

LORELAI: And I'd be cheap.

MRS KIM: You mean you want pay?

LORELAI: You paid Lane, didn't you?

MRS KIM: Yes. With food, clothes, shelter.

LORELAI: See, I'd be a whole lot cheaper than that.

MRS KIM: What happened to the Inn?

LORELAI: We're still working on it.

MRS KIM: What happens when it opens?

LORELAI: I find you a cheap replacement.

MRS KIM: I will think about it. I must go back to work. _(gets up.)_

LORELAI: Uh, okay. Thanks for your time, Mrs. Kim.

_Mrs. Kim leaves. Lorelai takes a sip of tea, remembers it's tea, gags, and gets up to go._

INT. GILMORE HOUSE

_Lorelai is returning home. Kirk is at her doorstep._

LORELAI: Hey, Kirk. What are you doing here?  
  
KIRK: Oh. I'm just delivering the mail. 'Cause it's my job.  
  
LORELAI: That's nice.  
  
KIRK: Yep. I may be homeless, but I'm employed.  
  
LORELAI: Look at that. We're polar opposites. I hope you find somewhere.  
  
KIRK: Taylor wouldn't rent me an apartment. Anywhere.  
  
LORELAI: Yeah, apparently he owns half the town.  
  
KIRK: Yes, he does. I tried asking Luke, but he said no.  
  
LORELAI: _(smiles)_ You should ask him again. He was just saying the other day how lonely he's been.  
  
KIRK: Really? You think he'd reconsider?  
  
LORELAI: Absolutely.  
  
KIRK: I'll ask him again.  
  
LORELAI: You do that.

INT. LUKE'S DINER

_Luke is serving the evening rush. The phone rings._

LUKE: Kirk, for the last time, no. I don't care what Lorelai told you, you cannot stay at my place.

NICOLE: Hey, it's me.

LUKE: Oh, hey. Sorry about that.

NICOLE: It's okay.

LUKE: So, how'd the meeting go? Were you late?

NICOLE: A little bit. My boss gave me hell for it. It was like private school all over again.

LUKE: I'm sorry.

NICOLE: It's not your fault. But it can't happen again tomorrow, so I'm not taking my chances.

LUKE: This isn't about what I said when I first picked up. Because I thought I was talking to Kirk and that's a whole different issue. You're, of course, welcome to come over, stay over, if you like, for the night.

NICOLE: Right. For the night. No, it has nothing to do with that, though it's nice to know I have special privileges. I just think it's safer I stay here, just for tonight. I'll see you tomorrow.

LUKE: Okay. Good night.

_Luke hangs up and stands by the phone pensively. He looks around, goes to the kitchen and gets aspirin. Going into the fridge, he takes the pitcher of water and notices the carton of milk beside it._

LUKE: I thought I threw this out.

_He picks up the carton, but realizes it is full. He stares at it bewildered, then puts it back and takes the aspirin._

EXT. STARS HOLLOW

_Kirk searches desperately for a place in Stars Hollow to sleep. He heads to the park benches in the Town Square but Taylor has already posted signs,** "Kirk, you can't sleep here." **He finally finds a niche with a sign-less bench. As he gets closer, he sees a coarse pillow and blanket and adorning the bench. It seems almost like an answered prayer. He lies on the bench, rests his head on the pillow and pulls the blanket over him. Underneath the bench he notices a duffel bag and just as curiosity begins to attract him, a shadow falls on him and he sees a dark figure. Frightened, he screams, grabs the pillow and runs off. He runs to Luke's diner and bangs on the door.  
_

LUKE: _(from upstairs out the window)_ What is it?  
  
KIRK: Someone's trying to kill me.  
  
LUKE: If he needs any help, tell him to let me know.  
  
KIRK: Please, Luke. I have nowhere to go.  
  
_Luke looks at him hesitantly, his hard face softening slightly._  
  
LUKE: _(relenting)_ Yeah, whatever. I'll be right down.  
  
_**Sparks (acoustic) **by Coldplay:_

_Luke sighs and goes downstairs to let Kirk in_.  
  
LUKE: You'll sleep on the door in the diner but only for tonight and you have to be out before I get down there. Understood?  
  
KIRK: Fine. Thank you. Thank you.

_Luke goes back upstairs. As he enters the apartment, he shivers and notices that he left the window open. He sighs and as he starts to walk over to close it, he steps on something and hears the sound of plastic cracking. He reaches down and picks up a Coldplay CD. He stops and looks at it. His breath catches in his throat just slightly. He looks around the room and sits on the bed that he still thinks of as Jess's. He sighs and leans forward, putting his elbows on his knees and stares at the broken CD case that he can't seem to put down._

EXT. NEW HAVEN

_Rory is reading on a bench outside. Oliver approaches  
_  
OLIVER: Hey, I didn't see you in class today. I assume you nixed the Elizabethan get up.

RORY: That and I've been terribly deprived of sleep lately so I opted for the back. Way back. Hi.  
  
OLIVER: _(sits next to her)_ Hello. So, whatcha reading?  
  
RORY: "Anna Karenina."

_Rory returns to the book, but notices Oliver is still there. She stops and thinks of something to say _

RORY: Have you read it?  
  
OLIVER: Once, maybe in high school. I don't worry too much about fiction. Reality is what concerns me.

RORY: _(breezily)_ What is real?

OLIVER: That's what we philosophers have been trying to figure out for centuries.

RORY: _(matter-of-factly)_ Maybe you guys should start with fiction.

OLIVER: Maybe. So is this leisure reading or for a class?

RORY: Leisure.

_Another awkward silence as Rory thinks of something to say. _

RORY: What do you read for leisure?... Don't tell me Kant?

OLIVER: _(laughs)_ Rarely. Maybe worse, though. Unix. I'm kind of a computer geek.

RORY: Hey, that's cool.

OLIVER: So what do you think of Kopka's philosophy class?

RORY: He was only twenty minutes late instead of the usual thirty.

OLIVER: Yeah, it kind of broke the whole consistency thing he had going.

RORY: I really like it though. He's a good teacher.

OLIVER: _(grins)_ My consistent correctness stands unchanged, then.

RORY: _(at his grinning, she buries her head)_ But my consistent punctuality is at risk. I should get going.

OLIVER: Okay. See you around.

RORY: Uh, yeah, sure.

_Rory smiles faintly and walks away_

INT. LUKE'S DINER

_The diner is open. Kirk is gone. Luke is serving. He begins to wipe off the tables but realizes the rag is not working as well. He discovers it is not a rag but the pillowcase Kirk had used. He drops it immediately and washes his hands. Nicole comes in._

NICOLE: Hey.

LUKE: Hey. What are you doing here?

NICOLE: The meeting finished early and I couldn't wait to see you. Sorry about last night.

LUKE: About what?

NICOLE: About...forget it.

LUKE: _(hesitantly)_ You know, I...I was thinking...you know, maybe it would be easier if you could keep some of your stuff over here.

NICOLE: It would definitely be easier.

LUKE: I just need to clear out some space.

NICOLE: Yeah, that's fine.

LUKE: You don't have any porcelain dolls, do you?

NICOLE: What?

LUKE: Never mind.

_Nicole looks at him curiously, then laughs and kisses him._

INT. ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE

_Rory is sitting in the living room alone. She taps her thumbs together as she waits. Her eyes settle on an ugly new lamp._

RORY: You don't know how lucky you are that my mom isn't here because right now we'd be seriously mocking you. I'd do it myself but it'd be weird mocking a lamp on my own. About as weird as talking to a lamp on my own.

_Richard comes into the room._

RICHARD: Rory, were you talking to someone?

RORY: Uh, just this lamp here.

RICHARD: You were talking to the lamp?

RORY: His name is Fred, by the way.

RICHARD: I'm afraid we haven't as yet made each other's acquaintance. Honestly, I can't keep track of all the new things your grandmother is buying. She thinks the house needs a new look. I can't imagine why.

RORY: It's a girl thing.

RICHARD: So I assumed.

_Emily enters._

EMILY: Rory, you're here. How wonderful! Dinner is almost ready. I hope you're hungry.

RORY: Oh I'm always hungry so you're safe there.

EMILY: Well, would you like something to drink?

RORY: Um, yeah, a Coke would be great.

RICHARD: I'll get it.

_Richard passes the drinks and the three sit down. There is an awkward silence as they try to think of what to say._

RICHARD: So, how's our Ivy League student doing?

RORY: Um, okay. Pretty much the same. Thank you.

RICHARD: Oh, you're not getting off that easy. Tell us.

RORY: Tell you what?

EMILY: You can start with why you didn't answer my call the other morning.

RORY: Oh, I'm sorry, grandma. I didn't know that was you. I was up really late doing homework. Then mom called and I told her I had to sleep because I didn't have class until noon. I thought that the second call was her.  
  
EMILY: Well, why was there a dial tone?  
  
RORY: I kind of pushed the phone off of the desk, and the phone came off the hook.  
  
EMILY: And that is acceptable? What if it had been an important call?

RORY: Nothing mom has to say in the morning is usually very important.

EMILY: I'm serious, Rory.

RORY: I'm sorry. It was a complete accident and it won't happen again.

EMILY: I should hope so. It's very irresponsible.

RORY: It is. I'm sorry.

EMILY: And rude.

RORY: _(piqued)_ I know. I said I was sorry. How many times do you want me to say it?

EMILY: Rory, I don't want to hear apologies. I expect that in the future, you answer my calls. A friend of mine was having her granddaughter visit the campus and it would have been nice if you two would have been able to meet.

RORY: I'm sure it would have.

EMILY: With privilege comes responsibility.

RORY: What's that supposed to mean?

EMILY: It means that the because you are receiving a Yale education you are bound to some social obligations.

RORY: Really? I don't remember reading that in the bulletin. You know, I'm not your trophy.

RICHARD: Now just one minute. What is that supposed to mean?

RORY: _(sighs)_ Forget it. Can we just drop this? I said I was sorry.

RICHARD: Yes, Emily. It was after all just a mistake. I believe dinner should be ready now.

EMILY: I'll check with Karen.

INT. LUKE'S DINER

_Lorelai comes in. Luke is storing a box-full of things around the diner. Lorelai watches Luke position a fishing rod on one of the shelves._

LORELAI: So you plan to revolutionize the whole concept of fresh food by having customer catch their own fish right in the diner.

LUKE: What? Oh. No. I'm just trying to bring some stuff upstairs down here. I told Nicole she could bring some stuff over and I have to make space for it.

LORELAI: So you two are moving in together?

LUKE: No. She's just bringing some stuff over, your basic essentials.

LORELAI: You underestimate the necessity of the doll collection.

LUKE: Well, let's only hope.

LORELAI: So how do you feel about this?

LUKE: I don't know. I mean, it's the only thing that makes sense. It's just so cluttered up there as it is. There's no space. I like having my space.

LORELAI: Space is overrated.

LUKE: 'The house feeling really big without Rory?

LORELAI: Like you wouldn't believe. I can hear an echo.

LUKE: You miss her.

LORELAI: She is my daughter.

LUKE: So why are you here?

LORELAI: You mean I haven't asked for coffee yet?

LUKE: Isn't today Friday?

LORELAI: Well, I don't know. That specials board still says Tuesday.

LUKE: _(looking at the specials board.)_ Jeez. It's been so long since I've had to be the one to change it.

_Lorelai smiles awkwardly_

LUKE: _(still looking at the specials board.)_ Why are you here?

LORELAI: Still don't see my coffee.

LUKE: Rory is in Hartford. You can drive there. You can see her. Why are you here?

LORELAI: My mother and father for one...

LUKE: Rory.

LORELAI: And I want to give her her space.

LUKE: I thought you said space is overrated.

LORELAI: I did, didn't I? So why am I here?

LUKE: I don't know. So, beat it.

LORELAI: _(gets up and walks to the door)_ Thanks, Luke._ (He smiles and nods.) _

INT. ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE

_Rory, Emily, and Richard sit at the table eating in strained silence. Occasionally, they look up and give awkward smiles. The doorbell rings, and the maid leaves to get it._

MAID: May I help you?  
  
LORELAI: I'm Lorelai. I'm here for the dinner.  
  
MAID: _(looks inside)_ But, um, she already arrived.  
  
LORELAI: That would be _my_ daughter, Rory. I'm Lorelai.  
  
MAID:_ (confused)_ Okay.

_They stand there for a minute_  
  
LORELAI: You're suppose to let me in.  
MAID: But she's already here.  
  
EMILY: Karen, who is that? _(comes into view)_ Lorelai, how nice of your to join us. What's the occasion? Is hell freezing over? Are pigs flying now?

LORELAI: Hi, mom. Always know how to make a person feel welcome.

EMILY: Well, why are you standing outside? Come in.  
  
LORELAI: But I....she....you...  
  
EMILY: Karen, take Lorelai's coat. _(to Lorelai)_ Rory's already here.  
  
LORELAI: So I was told.

_The two go into the sitting room._  
  
LORELAI: Rory!  
  
RORY: Mom!

_The two hug_  
  
EMILY: You two act as if you hadn't seen each other in a long time.  
  
LORELAI: Well, it has been a little while.  
  
RORY: I'm sorry. But it hasn't been that long.  
  
LORELAI: I'd forgotten what you look like. Are you taller? I think you're taller.  
  
RORY: It could just be the shoes.  
  
LORELAI: A likely possibility. Very nice, by the way.

RORY: Why, thank you.  
  
EMILY: Well, sit, sit. I'm afraid we've already started dinner? Karen will heat up a plate for you.

LORELAI: You sure about that? Because Rory's already eaten.

EMILY: What?  
  
LORELAI: Don't trouble yourself, mom. I'll just have a drink.  
  
RICHARD: What can I get you, Lorelai?

LORELAI: Hi, dad. A Manhattan would be nice.  
  
RICHARD: Excellent. Good to see you Lorelai.

LORELAI: So what did I miss?

_Richard, Emily, and Rory exchange looks._

EMILY: Rory was just about to tell us about her classes?  
  
RICHARD: That's right. How are they going?  
  
RORY: Going well.

LORELAI: Forget about classes. What's the college scene like?

RORY: Well, not much has changed since last week.

EMILY: Any new friends?

RORY: Uh...

RICHARD: Yes. You know, the relationships you establish in college can be the most wonderful, gratifying, significant friendships of your life.

RORY: Really? Um, wow.

LORELAI: Makes you think twice about who you invite to your keg parties, doesn't it?

EMILY: So come on, Rory. Tell us about your friends.

RORY: There's not much to tell. I don't know, it's too soon.

RICHARD: It's been over a month.

RORY: Oh, really. Wow. Didn't realize that.

EMILY: You mean you haven't met anybody?

RORY: Sure I have. Yeah. Um. There's...um,...well, there's...Oh, well, yeah. There's this guy in my philosophy class.  
  
EMILY: _(teasingly)_ A 'guy'?  
  
RICHARD: And what is this 'guy's name?  
  
RORY: His name is Oliver.  
  
LORELAI: Like the cat?  
  
RORY: Yes, mom. Like the cat.  
  
EMILY: Well, what's he like?  
  
RORY: He's nice, funny, smart, a little older...  
  
LORELAI: He's not the professor is he?

RORY: No.

LORELAI: Shucks.

EMILY: It reminds me of the first day I met Richard. There he was, nice, funny, smart, a little older...

RICHARD: You forget desperately charming.

EMILY: Yes, the Yale men can be quite pretentious. You'll get used to it.

RORY:_ (shyly)_ We're just friends. Not even really friends. More like, friendishhh...friendly. That's all.

RICHARD: So which class is your favorite?

RORY:_ (animatedly)_ English with Professor Donlough is amazing.

RICHARD: Yes, I recall an article on her in the alumni newsletter. The essay she did on Emerson is quite brilliant.

RORY: She's brilliant.

_Rory goes on talking animatedly about Yale and her classes while Lorelai looks on a little despondently._

FADE TO:

_Later. Gilmore dining room_  
  
RORY: I thought Paris was competitive in high school. College has turned her into a raging monster. Luckily, there's more people to compete with, so the hostility is more evenly distributed.  
  
RICHARD: That Paris has ambition. Is she your roommate? I was recalling the other day that you never told us about your roommate.  
  
RORY: Oh, no. Paris is not my roommate.  
  
LORELAI: Thank God.  
  
RICHARD: Well, tell us about your roommate, then.  
  
RORY: I actually don't know that much about her. Her name's Marissa. She's not around a lot. I think she's actually living with her boyfriend somewhere off campus, but she wants her parents to think she's staying in the dorm.  
  
LORELAI: She sounds like my kind of girl.  
  
EMILY: _(coldly)_ Yes, she does.  
  
RICHARD: You should notify the dean. It's part of the college experience to fraternize with the other students, and I don't want you to miss out on that.  
  
RORY: I kind of like it. It gives me more time to study. Don't worry grandpa; I get enough human contact during class.  
  
LORELAI: Plus, we're signing her up to join a sorority. The Kappa-Kappa Beta-Beta Bunnies. I hear they throw all types of parties complete Jell-O shots.  
  
RICHARD: Yale doesn't have anything like that.  
  
LORELAI: Oh, but they do.  
  
EMILY: That's it. I'm going to lie down.

LORELAI: Whoa. What was that all about?  
  
RICHARD: She's been under a lot of stress. Some DAR function they've been trying to put together. I think it's best we call it a night.

RORY: Yeah. I have to be at the library early tomorrow.

RICHARD: That's my granddaughter. Good night, Rory. Good night, Lorelai.

EXT. PORCH

_Lorelai and Rory are walking to their respective cars._

LORELAI: So you and the grandparents seem to be getting along very nicely.

RORY: What do you mean? We've always gotten along.

LORELAI: I mean, you're really connecting with this Yale thing.

RORY: I don't know about that...Maybe.

LORELAI: Maybe? I was kind of feeling left out for a minute there.

RORY: Trust me, you saved the evening.

LORELAI: Really? What happened?

RORY: Nothing. It's just...well, grandma...we didn't really talk much until you got there. I'm glad you came.

LORELAI: Me, too. _(she puts her arm around Rory)_ So, this Oliver...

RORY: Mm hmm.

LORELAI: How come you haven't told me about him before?

RORY: I didn't really get to know him until this week.

LORELAI: Do you like him?

RORY: He's okay.

LORELAI: But do you like him?

RORY: I wouldn't be friendly to him if I didn't.

LORELAI: But do you _like _him?

RORY: Now this is getting ridiculous. So, how's the second job thing going?

LORELAI: Mrs. Kim is thinking about it.

RORY: You went to Mrs. Kim?

LORELAI: I think that $3 wine was still in my system.

RORY: Wow.

LORELAI: So, you sure you don't want to crash at the house for the weekend?

RORY: Nah. I'm working on a project and I need the campus facilities.

LORELAI: Okay.

RORY: Good night, mom.

_They hug_

LORELAI: Good night, kiddo.

RORY: I'll call you when I get in.

LORELAI: I'll be waiting.

_They get into their cars. Rory drives off first. Lorelai sits in her car and watches Rory's for a while as it goes out into the distance. She sighs and starts to pull out._

EXT. STARS HOLLOW

_Lorelai pulls into the driveway. She exits the car and approaches the porch. Yet again, Kirk is outside on the front steps._

LORELAI: I know you're not delivering mail at this time of night.

KIRK: I needed to speak with you.

LORELAI: What's up?

KIRK: I need a place to stay.

LORELAI: So I heard.

KIRK: Any room ready at the inn?

LORELAI: Oh no.

KIRK: I'll pay good money.

LORELAI: Kirk, there's no room? All the rooms are being renovated. You just can't stay there.

KIRK: Well, how about here?

LORELAI: Here?

KIRK: There's Rory's room.

LORELAI: Rory's room.

KIRK: It wouldn't be permanent. Just a temporary boarding situation. Now, I realize that this may be difficult for you considering our history, but I know I'm over it. I hope you are.

LORELAI: Over what?

KIRK: Us.

LORELAI: Us? There was an us?

KIRK: If denial works for you...

LORELAI: You can't stay here Kirk, because...because...wait, did you say you'd pay?

KIRK: Twenty dollars from all my checks. That's 400 dollars a month.

LORELAI: _(considers)_ Kirk, you've got yourself a room.

KIRK: Meals are included, too, right?

LORELAI: I'll think about it.

_Kirk and Lorelai go inside._

INT. GILMORE HOUSE

_Later. Rory and Lorelai are on the phone. Rory's on her cell phone as she's arriving at school._

KIRK: _(O.S.)_ Lorelai, where are the cotton balls?

LORELAI: In the medicine cabinet.

RORY: In the medicine cabinet?

LORELAI: What?

RORY: I asked you where you were going tomorrow and you said, 'in the medicine cabinet?'

LORELAI: Oh, I was talking to Kirk.

RORY: Is there something going on I should know about?

LORELAI: Oh, yeah, Kirk's our boarder.

RORY: We have a boarder?

LORELAI: Now we do. Hey, it's easy cash.

RORY: Is he staying in my room?

LORELAI: Yep.

RORY: I've already been replaced.

LORELAI: Well, what can I tell you.

RORY: Kirk, living in our house, sleeping in my room. That's a scary thought.

LORELAI: I know. But you know what they say...what do they say? _(CRASH)_ Kirk?!  
  
RORY: Mom? Is everything ok?  
  
LORELAI: Yeah...I think so. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later honey.  
  
RORY: Alrig...._(dial tone)_

CUT TO:

INT. DORM ROOM

_(Rory comes back to her dorm. She passes people either studying or just hanging out and talking. They greet her, and she smiles and says hi back, but she doesn't stop. She politely passes them by and gets to her dorm room. She opens the door to an empty room. Her stuff is in it but everything is still and she notes that it feels vacant. She goes to her answering machine which reads 8 new messages. She plays the first few seconds of them. One from Paris, from her grandparents, from Lane. A message from Chris.)_

Chris (_on the machine_): Rory, are you there? I guess not. It's a been a while, give me a call, ok..?

_(She shuts the machine off. She goes to her desk and picks up a card that reads...)_

You are cordially invited to the wedding of Christopher Hayden and Sherry Tinsdale"

_(She sighs and then puts it back down again) _

_**Blackbird by The Beatles**_

_She sits on her bed, takes a slow glance around the room, searching for something to do. Nothing offers itself. She rests her eyes on the wall, and sits in silence._

EXT. LUKE'S DINER

_Luke walks out of the back door of the diner to the alley carrying a box of items. He comes to a car, Jess's car, opens the trunk, and puts the box inside. He goes back into the diner and upstairs. Going over to Jess' side of the room, he boxes a few more items. He looks around, sighs, and take the box downstairs, outside to the alley. When he goes to where he had the car, it's gone._

LUKE: What the hell?

_Camera pans out on the Troubadour singing the end of **Blackbird**._

**End Of Episode**


	2. Wallflower Girl

Ok, wow, it has been a while hasn't it? Well, first let me apologize for the delay. Life happened to all of us. But we're back. Now, before we get to the story, a few people need to be mentioned.

Nicolle (Someone) unfortunately isn't a co-writer anymore, but she did such a great job with writing and story boarding, that in our hearts, she still is one.

Marissa (Avid) has been our personal cheerleader since the beginning, and without her, I probably would have given up ten times over.

Cinn (Cinnamon572), my little freelancer, who crosses the line in the sand and always finds time to help me out and pick up the slack when I'm blocked.

Raven who does such a great job of betaing and making this look as pretty as it does.

Special thanks to the people over at F4F for giving me a place to rant and inspiring me. Especially the guys at the Trory board for creating a little lit corner on their sites for me.

At the end of each chapter, I'll be listing the songs that I use in the next chapter. If you could find a way to DL them, or even just look up the lyrics that'd be cool. Music inspires me, and I pick each song for a reason. The chapter titles are all songs that, I think, fit the chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own any character that has ever appeared on Gilmore Girls. They belong to Amy Sherman Pallidino. I do however, own any and all characters in this fic that don't appear on Gilmore Girls.

**Chapter 2: Wallflower Girl**

INT. GILMORE HOUSE / INT. RORY'S DORM ROOM SEQ.

_Both on the phone_

LORELAI: So, after I put out the fire, we just ordered Chinese.

RORY: Wow.

LORELAI: I know; I had no idea we had a fire extinguisher. Did you?

RORY: Maybe it came with the house.

LORELAI: That makes sense. Anyway, Kirk says that it wasn't his fault.

RORY: He was the one cooking when the stove caught on fire.

LORELAI: That's what I said. No, he claimed that because the stove hasn't be used, let alone cleaned, in about ten years, that the old food particles or something caught on fire.

RORY: (suspiciously) But if we haven't used it in ten years, how would there be food particles to catch on fire in the first place?

LORELAI: Good point. I think he's just trying to cover for his own mistake. Either way, he's going to stick to the microwave for while.

RORY: Sounds like you've had a busy week.

LORELAI: Besides that, it hasn't been too bad. What about you?

RORY: I've been swamped with this paper I have for my lit course.

LORELAI: What's it about?

RORY: It's a pretty flexible topic. We just have to apply Joseph Campbell's theory of the "hero's journey" to a modern piece.

LORELAI: Way over my head.

RORY: We just have to pick a book or movie and show how they relate.

LORELAI: What about Beavis and Butthead Do America?

RORY: As much as it actually applies, I chose Dante's Inferno.

LORELAI: Oooh, a smarty book.

RORY: I'm almost done.

LORELAI: Good, then you can come over on Friday instead of Saturday.

RORY: (quickly) Well, I have other stuff to do too.

LORELAI: But your birthday party is on Saturday. If you came over on Friday, we could have a pre-party bash, just the two of us.

RORY: Well, this is the first paper we're turning in, and I want it to be really good. I was planning on revising on Friday.

LORELAI: You could bring it here and revise it.

RORY: But I have all the references I need here.

LORELAI: Okay, you win. But you'll just have to party extra hardy on Saturday. Deal?

RORY: (forces a smile, but sounds perky) Deal.

LORELAI: Good, cause this is gonna be great.

RORY: I'm sure.

LORELAI: Taylor even gave us permission to rope off the Town Square.

RORY: What? Oh mom, that's not necessary...

LORELAI: Of course it is. You're not home a lot anymore and everyone wants to see you, so the town square is the obvious choice. Of course, it took a month to get the right permits for it-

RORY: Wait, everyone?

LORELAI: Well, Sookie, Jackson, Lane, Patty, Babette, Morey, Kirk, Taylor, Pete, Andrew, Bootsy, Rune...yeah, everyone.

RORY: Mom.

LORELAI: What?

RORY: I thought it was going to be something small.

LORELAI: Small...schmall. Come on, it'll be fun.

RORY: Yeah, fun.

LORELAI: That's the spirit...or not. Are you okay?

RORY: Oh, I'm fine... just tired. From this paper.

LORELAI: It sounds like it.

RORY: I just need some sleep.

LORELAI: Well, I guess I'll let you go.

RORY: Okay.

LORELAI: Have fun with Joseph Campbell...and the Inferno.

RORY: Will do.

LORELAI: See you this weekend.

RORY: Okay.

LORELAI: Coz we're gonna par-tay.

RORY: I'm looking forward to it.

LORELAI: 'Kay honey, love you.

RORY: You too.

_They hang up. Rory looks at the phone and shakes her head, trying to focus on her paper. She looks around, then rises and goes to her bookshelf for a book. As she makes her way back to the desk, she opens the book and flips through the pages to find what she's looking for. She suddenly stops. Her eyes widen as she sees writing in the margins. She drops the book into the trash and then walks back to the shelf and starts to pull out all the books to check for notes in the margins and throwing them in the trash as well._

**::Opening Credits::**

EXT. CAMPUS

_Rory walking across the quad with a few bags full of books. She's struggling. A VOICE speaks to her, but she can't see them over the stack of books._

VOICE: Hey, whoa. Here, let me help you with that

RORY: No, its ok, I got it.

_Books fall again_

VOICE: No, you don't

RORY: (bitterly) I said that I...

_Rory looks up recognizing OLIVER_

RORY: Oh, hi

OLIVER: Hi. You alright?

RORY: Yeah, I'm fine.

OLIVER: wow, they are really loading up on that freshman required reading. What class is that for, cause I don't remember having to read all that when I was a newbie

RORY: It's not for a class. This is for leisure reading

OLIVER: (sarcastic) Slow week?

_Oliver takes a book from the pile_

OLIVER: To The Lighthouse? This one's kind of a classic, I would have thought you'd have read it already.

RORY: I have. Actually, I've read all of these.

OLIVER: So you just suddenly decided you had to own them? How very bipolar

RORY: Well, I already own them

_Oliver opens his mouth to say something, then pauses, and closes it. He tries again_

OLIVER: I'm so confused

RORY: I had all these books. I decided to buy new copies

OLIVER: What happened to your old ones?

RORY: I threw them out this morning

OLIVER: (small pause) Do I wanna know?

RORY: Probably not

OLIVER: Fair enough

RORY: (small pause) You must think I'm really weird

OLIVER: No, no, no... Well, yeah; but that's ok. This kind of weird is ok. It's pins in dolls and boiling bunnies, that's where I draw the line

RORY: So I guess I should rethink joining that coven.

OLIVER: Only if my opinion counts for something. Speaking of covens, though, my frat's throwing a party this weekend.

_He hands her a flyer from a stack in his bag _

OLIVER: If you want to stop by, you're more than welcome.

_Rory skeptically takes the flyer_

RORY: frat party?

OLIVER: I know what you're thinking. That'll be a bunch of losers in togas hitting on girls, a keg, loud bad music, and drunken people just scattered all around the house...and, well that's actually pretty accurate, except for the togas. Those we only break out for special occasions, like the end of finals, or the end of mid terms, or... the end of...Tuesdays.

_Rory smiles in spite of herself. She hands the flyer back_

RORY: Yeah well, I tend to have bad luck at these things

_Oliver accepts the flyer reluctantly_

OLIVER: Ahh... freshman bookworm's also a party girl

RORY: I have many layers. But really, I don't think....

OLIVER: Come on...you know, contrary to popular belief, college parties aren't about drinking, and partying, and hooking up.

_Rory does not answer_

OLIVER: Ok, well, they're not just about drinking and partying and hooking up. They're actually a lot of fun. You get to meet a lot of people at once, and they're very friendly. Granted that's usually due to them being completely wasted, and while the next day they don't remember much what happened, they do remember the faces of people who stood around and watched it happen and you can sit and chat and fill in the blanks. That's how you make friends.

RORY: By telling drunken people what they missed by being drunk?

OLIVER: You'd be surprised how many life long friendships start out that way

_Rory nods skeptically, but smiling_

OLIVER: Besides, it's a great way to blow off steam and by the time you break in all these books, you're gonna need it. I mean, you can't read all day, every day

RORY: You obviously don't know me

OLIVER: Well, come to the party and we'll change all that

_Olives gives a satisfied expectant smile while handing the flyer back to her. Rory accepts the flyer smiling._

RORY: Maybe

OLIVER: Maybe?

RORY: I'll think about it

_Oliver opens his mouth to sell it a bit more but Rory beats him to it_

Rory (laughing a little): It's the best you're gonna get from me ok?

_Oliver puts his hands up in submission _

OLIVER: Ok. Remember, Friday night.

RORY: Ok. (Remembering) Oh wait. I can't.

OLIVER: why not?

RORY: I have a... family thing

OLIVER: Oh come on, blow off the family. The whole point of college is to get away from them-to be free of familial obligations

RORY: Yeah well, my going college is contingent upon fulfilling my familial obligations. So if I blow them off, I can kiss Yale 'goodbye' altogether.

OLIVER: Oh, well we wouldn't want that. (thoughtfully) You really can't get out of it?

RORY: Normally I could. But this weekend is...(rushing through the next few words)...well, its kind of my birthday and they probably have something planned and I don't wanna....

OLIVER: It's your birthday?

RORY: Yeah

OLIVER: Happy Birthday!

RORY: Thank you

OLIVER: 18?

RORY: 19

OLIVER: Ahh, so you're already legal

RORY: Yes

OLIVER: Good to know. So listen, the party starts on Friday, who knows when its gonna end, so I'll put your name on the special "VIP" list. If you can make it, great. If not, I will be terribly, terribly disappointed

RORY: I'm sure you'll survive

OLIVER: Oh I know, but I will insist that you make it up to me.

_Oliver winks at her_

OLIVER: If I don't see you before Friday, happy birthday.

_Oliver starts to walk away but turns again_

OLIVER: Oh, and are you sure you don't need help with those books?

RORY: I'm fine

OLIVER: All rightly then. Bye.

_Oliver walks away_

INT. GILMORE HOUSE

_Lorelai is at the kitchen tabled doing paper work. Kirk comes in through the back door with loads of bags_

LORELAI: Whoa. What's all that? Might I remind you that this is a temporary arrangement.

KIRK: I did some grocery shopping. Your cupboards are completely empty.

LORELAI: It used to bother me, but then I thought they'd be good for emergency shoe storage.

KIRK: Well, I bought some things. What do you think of linguini in clam sauce with roasted steak in Dijon cheddar for dinner?

LORELAI: I'm think I finally get those "kiss the cook" aprons.

KIRK: I think it sounds good, but I don't know how to make it so I thought mac and cheese with hamburger helper would be a good alternative.

LORELAI: Well, I have to say that's not bad, but after the linguini and steak, I'm a little disappointed.

KIRK: Some people are so hard to please.

_Gesturing at the papers on the table._

KIRK: What's all this?

LORELAI: Uh, just some paper work for the Inn.

KIRK: But it's on the table.

LORELAI: Good thing about paper work, it's portable.

KIRK: Mother always said no paper on the table.

LORELAI: Well, in this house, I'm the only mother and I say paper on the table all you like.

KIRK: You also don't color coordinate your bathroom towels.

LORELAI: Screw color coordination. Kirk, this is the kind of stuff you get to do when you're not living with your parents. You get to break the rules, make up your own. Live it up. Leave a dirty cup in the sink for more than an hour. Squeeze the toothpaste from the center.

KIRK: Leave the toilet seat up if I want to?

LORELAI: Come on now, Kirk. That's just a matter of common courtesy.

KIRK: Oh.

_The phone rings. Lorelai grabs the phone_

LORELAI: I got it. Hello.

EMILY: Lorelai, how are you?

LORELAI: Hey, mom. Okay. How are you?

EMILY: Yes, yes. I'm fine. You know why I'm calling.

LORELAI: To say you love me?

EMILY: Lorelai.

LORELAI: It's absurd, I know. So why are you calling?

EMILY: Rory's birthday.

LORELAI: Oh that's right. What of it?

EMILY: I imagine we'll celebrate it here.

LORELAI: Why?

EMILY: Because it's closer to her school. It'll be easier on her.

LORELAI: What about the guests?

EMILY: Well, I didn't think we needed to do formal invitations for her 19th birthday. I thought I'd just spread the word around at the country club.

LORELAI: Country club. Right. Uh, no.

EMILY: As for her school friends, they could just drive here like Rory. They'd have a harder time finding that little fork in the road you guys live in.

LORELAI: What about her home friends. Lane, for one.

EMILY: You can bring her, can't you?

LORELAI: Well, let's see. No. Your house is just outside the allowable Kim radius.

EMILY: What?

LORELAI: Lane's mother is very strict.

EMILY: Oh. Well, you can do something with Rory and Lane and her other town friends the next day.

LORELAI: Two parties? That's a bit rough on her. She only gets the weekend and she has work to do.

EMILY: Then I guess Stars Hollow it is.

LORELAI: Huh. That was easier than I thought.

EMILY: I'll be over tomorrow so we can go over the plans.

LORELAI: Ah. There it goes.

EMILY: There goes what?

LORELAI: Nothing. See you tomorrow, mom.

INT. NEW HAVEN – YALE LIBRARY

_Rory is studying late at the library. Paris and two other girls, GIRL 1 and GIRL 2 invade her table_

GIRL 1: All I'm saying is that Plato's republic is Hitler's Nazi Germany.

PARIS: I really don't think Hitler qualifies as a philosopher-king.

GIRL 2: But Hitler probably thought he did.

PARIS: Rory, what do you think?

RORY: Huh?

PARIS: Plato's Republic?

RORY: Uh, I don't want to live there.

GIRL 1: Thank you.

PARIS: You're all hopeless.

RORY: But at least we can blame it on our parents because we know who they are.

PARIS: Since we're all here, why don't we work on _a required course_.

RORY: Actually, I already did. And I have to go anyway.

GIRL 2: Where are you headed, Rory?

RORY: Back to my room. I have to study

PARIS: This is a library, you know.

RORY: Uh, yeah, that's right. But, see... no food allowed and the only way I'm going to get through calc is with some Twinkies.

Girl 2: I have a Zinger if you want. No one's going to catch you or anything.

RORY: Thanks, but you know, I'd still have that guilty feeling which upsets my digestion. Plus, it's only one and I'd need like twenty, and it's yours and I'm really in the mood for Twinkies anyway. But thanks.

GIRL 2: (shrugs) Okay.

_Rory turns to Paris who has been looking at her very coldly_

RORY: Why are you looking at me like that?

PARIS: Why am I looking at you at all. It's obvious you don't want to study with us. You're too afraid of

imparting us with your special knowledge, perhaps. Fine. So just go already.

RORY: Paris, it's not like that. (to Girls 1& 2) It's not like that.

PARIS: Whatever. So, ladies, why don't we open up to page 46?

_Rory sighs, gets up, and leaves, waving goodbye to Girls 1 & 2. They smile commiseratingly and look down obediently at their books._

**Everlong (acoustic) by Dave Grohl**

INT. RORY'S DORM ROOM

_Rory gets to her room and leans against the closed door with her eyes closed. She takes a few deep breaths followed by a few shallow ones. She calmly sits on the bed, closes her eyes and takes a few more deep breaths._

FADE OUT

INT. NEW HAVEN – YALE CLASSROOM

_PROFESSOR lecturing. _

PROFESSOR: So, being that this is a rather large class and it is important that you get to know each other, I'm going to pair you up for the next assignment. We'll just do this alphabetically.

PARIS: (to Rory) Ugh. I hate this. We're not in high school anymore. You know how this always ends up, too. The hardworking people like you and me always get paired up with some dumb jock who always has practice and can never work on the assignment. So you end up having to do it all yourself and they still get credit for your hard work. Doesn't it outrage you?

RORY: I wouldn't mind it. By the looks of it, I'm getting Gunther Gilmartin.

PARIS: You mean the full back who crushes cans on his head?

RORY: He's actually a tight end, not that I know the difference.

PARIS: And you're okay with that?

RORY: Gunther's very nice.

PARIS: He's one Coke can short of unconsciousness.

RORY: So it'll be good that one of us is conscious.

PARIS: Oh my God. I just realized I'm going to be with Jennifer Gellan.

RORY: My sympathies.

PARIS: That's it. I'm getting us out of this.

_Paris raises her hand_

RORY: Paris, what are you doing?

PARIS: Excuse me, Professor

PROFESSOR: (sighs) Yes, Paris.

PARIS: I think this arrangement is completely ridiculous. Funny, these last two and a half months I thought I was in college. And yet, here we are back in the buddy system. Now I'm sure it's fine for you because that's half the papers to grade, but for many of us, it's going to be twice the work.

_Paris tilts her head toward a girl presumably Jennifer Gellan_

PARIS: Therefore, I'd like to request Rory Gilmore as my partner. I know her capabilities and her work habits and I can trust that we'll be able to work as more or less equals. Unless, of course, you...

PROFESSOR: Fine, Paris. You can work with Rory.

PARIS: Thank you.

_Paris sits down and nods at Rory who leans back in her chair and sighs._

INT. GILMORE RESIDENCE

LORELAI: (knocking on Rory's door.) Kirk, can I come in? I need to borrow something from Rory's closet.

_Kirk opens_

KIRK: Feel free. I'm going to take a bath.

LORELAI: (shocked) Oh my God. Kirk, what did you do?

_Lorelai enters. The room is decorated with Animal Planet posters, space-mobiles, glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling, film posters, etc._

KIRK: I know the feng shui is off, but I'm still working on it.

LORELAI: But Kirk, you can't. This is temporary, remember? This is still Rory's room. And she's coming for her birthday this weekend.

KIRK: Let me get this straight. I'm paying four hundred dollars a month to stay here, I cook our dinners, but I can't keep my sci-fi magazines in the bathroom rack, and I can't decorate my room.

LORELAI: Exactly.

KIRK: Well, so long as we get the rules straight.

LORELAI: I'm sorry, Kirk. But it is Rory's room

KIRK: I understand.

LORELAI; And the sci-fi magazines, you know, people come over, they use the bathroom, it's embarrassing.

KIRK: Well. I see. Looks like it'll be brussel sprouts for dinner tonight.

_The doorbell rings; Lorelai goes to answer while Kirk heads to the bathroom. Door opens, Emily is on the other side._

EMILE: Hello, Lorelai

LORELAI: Mom. Hey. Wow. Right on time.

EMILY: I'm sorry. I forgot to set my clock to "Lorelai Time" this morning. I can come back later if you like.

LORELAI: Somebody's in a great mood today. So um, let's go.

EMILY: Go where?

LORELAI: Um, I don't know. We'll figure it out later.

EMILY: Lorelai, stop being ridiculous. We have to plan first. May I come in?

LORELAI: (voice deflated) Sure.

EMILY: Well don't sound too enthusiastic.

_Emily steps inside and makes her way to the living room. Lorelai sighs, closes the door, and follows_

EMILY: New couch? It looks lovely. I'm so glad you got rid of that old ugly thing.

LORELAI: Actually, it's a new blanket to cover that old, ugly thing.

EMILY: That's nice. (pauses) Well, enough small talk. Let's get to business. I'll make us some tea.

_Emily heads to the kitchen and starts looking around_

LORELAI: Come on, mom. You know better than to think we keep tea in this house.

Emily lifts a tea bag from a plaster teakettle, Lorelai looks at it, dumbfounded

EMILY: Then what's this? Really Lorelai, you're being very rude.

LORELAI: Uh, yeah, I forgot what it was we kept in that teakettle. Who would have thought? Tea. Go figure.

EMILY: Did you leave the water running?

LORELAI: Huh?

EMILY: The shower.

LORELAI: Oh, no. That must be Babette next door.

EMILY: It sounds like it's in the house.

LORELAI: Yeah, they installed motorized pipes. Very loud.

EMILY: Motorized pipes?

LORELAI: Yeah, for the water pressure. I hear it smacks the dirt right off of you. And some skin, too. Sounds gruesome but it's actually orthopedic. What can I tell ya? So hey, I just thought of something. We need to get those Helium balloons.

EMILY: Oh, LORELAI. It's too early for that. They'll start to get limp.

LORELAI: That's right, but--

_Kirk comes out wearing a floral silk bathrobe, a shower cap, Tweety Bird slippers and wielding a rubber duckie._

KIRK: Lorelai, it's time for my soak. Do you have any bubble bath? Oh, I'm sorry.

(Tightens robe around his neck).

KIRK: I didn't know we had company.

Emily is speechless from shock.

LORELAI: Uh, yeah. Kirk, this is my mother. Mom, this is Kirk.

_Kirk lets go of his robe and extends his hand._

KIRK: Nice to meet you, Mrs. Gilmore.

EMILY: Dear God.

KIRK: (grabbing his robe again) That's a first.

EMILY: (recovering) Lorelai, I need to speak to speak with you in private. Excuse us, Kirk.

Emily grabs Lorelai and starts to pull her to Rory's room.

LORELAI: Uh, mom... that's not a good idea.

EMILY: Stop it, Lorelai. I need to speak with you.

INT. RORY'S ROOM

EMILY: Who is that man?!

LORELAI: I told you, Kirk.

EMILY: Oh well, of course. It's Kirk. Who is this Kirk?! Is he living with you?!

LORELAI: No! Well, yeah, but it's not what you think. Kirk is a friend of mine. He was in a jam and needed a place to stay. And I know what it is to be in a jam, so I told him he could crash here. It's only temporary. Very temporary.

EMILY: Are you seeing each other?

LORELAI: Geez no! Mom, come on. This is Kirk we're talking about? Give me some credit, will ya?

EMILY: And you're sure this is the truth?

LORELAI: The complete truth.

EMILY: Very well.

_Emily notices her whereabouts_

EMILY: Lorelai!

LORELAI: Well, I better get Kirk the bubble bath before he decides to have a seat on the new couch cover.

_Lorelai exits_

EMILY: Rory's room! Lorelai!

_Emily follows her outside to where Kirk is_

INT. GILMORE HOUSE

EMILY: That's it. I demand to know the truth.

LORELAI: (to Kirk) Kirk, please explain to my mother that this is just a temporary situation.

KIRK: Yes, just temporary.

EMILY: Are you seeing my daughter?

KIRK: No. Well, we were seeing each other for a bit a while back, but I don't know if it was that the timing wasn't right, or we just weren't at the right place emotionally for a relationship, but it didn't work. I'm over it. Lorelai's a great girl, but quite frankly, too high maintenance.

LORELAI: Hey!

KIRK: Sorry, Lorelai.

EMILY: Will someone please tell me what is going on here?

KIRK: I needed a place to stay. Your daughter was kind enough to rent me Rory's room.

EMILY: Rent?

LORELAI: (fake laugh) He doesn't mean rent like rent.

KIRK: Yes I do. Four hundred dollars a month.

EMILY: So it's a friend in a jam staying temporarily and you're charging him a monthly rent? Did you draw him a lease, too?

_Lorelai sits on the couch, face in hands_

LORELAI: No.

KIRK: I assure you she didn't. The arrangement--

LORELAI: Temporary arrangement

KIRK: The temporary arrangement is mutually beneficial. I needed a place to stay and she needs money for the Inn so it works out for both of us.

EMILY: You need money?

LORELAI: No, I do not need money!

KIRK: We're managing just fine. But thank you.

EMILY: And Rory's room?

KIRK: Lorelai already spoke to me about that and it will be cleared before the party. In fact, I should finish my bath so I can get right on it.

LORELAI: The bubble bath is in the medicine cabinet.

KIRK: Thank you. Nice meeting you, Mrs. Gilmore.

EMILY: Mm hm.

_They shake hands and Kirk leaves_

LORELAI: So, are you ready to go, mom?

EMILY: Yes. I could use the air.

LORELAI: Great.

_They head to the door._

EMILY: We're not through with this, Lorelai

LORELAI: (sigh) Didn't think so.

INT. NEW HAVEN - CAFETERIA.

_Rory sits in the cafeteria, eating her lunch and studying. GIRL comes over._

GIRL: Hey!

RORY: Hi.

GIRL: Mind if I sit here.

RORY: Go ahead.

GIRL: Thanks.

_Girl sits and Rory returns to her book. The girl remains looking at Rory. Feeling eyes on her, Rory looks up._

RORY: Did you need something?

GIRL: I think I have a class with you. Are you in Professor Gaines politics and ethics class?

RORY: No.

GIRL: Professor Hu's history of Modern China?

RORY: No.

GIRL: Professor--

RORY: You know what? Are you taking a language class?

GIRL: Which one?

RORY: Any.

GIRL: Yeah.

RORY: That must be the class. I'll look out for you next time. I have to go now. Bye.

_Rory gets up and leaves_

INT. LUKE'S DINER

_Lorelai enters, looking stressed._

LORELAI: Oh, Luke. Help me

LUKE: What's wrong?

LORELAI: I've been with my mother for (looks at watch) fifteen minutes, and I'm already praying for the sweet release of death.

LUKE: Uh-huh.

LORELAI: We're planning Rory's birthday party together. Not my choice, mind you, but a compromise.

LUKE: Coffee?

LORELAI: You're catching on.

LUKE: So, where is your mom now?

LORELAI: (deadpan) In the trunk. Hey, do you know of any good places to dump a body?

LUKE: I have a couple ideas, but I'm reserving those strictly for when I finally take out Taylor

LORELAI: Speaking of which, my mom's actually across the street, with Taylor.

LUKE: Really?

LORELAI: She's surveying the town square. Making sure it's... I don't know, 'up to par' for the party.

LUKE: Rory's party?

LORELAI: Yep.

LUKE: You're throwing her party in the town square?

LORELAI: Well, after the initial RSVPs, I realized that the house wasn't going to be big enough. My daughter is a very popular person. (wistfully) She gets that from me.

LUKE: I think these crazies just want an excuse to gather together and get drunk.

LORELAI: Either way, it's going to be a blow out.

LUKE: And Rory's okay with this?

LORELAI: Of course she is. Why wouldn't she be?

LUKE: Just... I dunno. With school and all...maybe it's a little much.

LORELAI: A little much? Oh it's going to be way over the top. That's how we like it.

LUKE: Okay. Just asking.

LORELAI: Well, it's fine. She's looking forward to it.

LUKE: Good. I'm glad.

LORELAI: Well, I'd better go. We still have to decide on a cake and double check the menu with Sookie... I'll probably be back later for a refill.

LUKE: I'll brew a special pot just for you.

LORELAI: Really?

LUKE: No.

LORELAI: Mean!

_Lorelai sticks her tongue out and leaves_

EXT. STARS HOLLOW – TOWN SQUARE

_Lorelai walks across the street to where Emily and Taylor are standing_

TAYLOR: I must say, I agree with you, but it would take weeks to authorize that. Since the party's in three days, I just don't think it would work.

EMILY: Pity.

LORELAI: What wouldn't work?

EMILY: Moving that gazebo.

LORELAI: Mom, not again.

EMILY: It's an eyesore, Lorelai.

LORELAI: Not with the proper Care Bears decorations.

EMILY: (to Taylor) So you see what I mean?

TAYLOR: Oh I know. Believe me.

LORELAI: Huh. It seems like I'm outnumbered here. Let's just get to Sookie's.

EMILY: Why?

LORELAI: She's doing the menu. I thought you might want to look it over.

EMILY: Lovely. Well, it was nice meeting you again, Mr. Doose.

TAYLOR: A pleasure as always, Mrs. Gilmore.

LORELAI: Bye Taylor.

_Taylor smiles at Lorelai _

TAYLOR: (to Emily) And good luck.

_The two begin walking towards Sookie's_

EMILY: So what did you get Rory?

LORELAI: Nothing, yet. I've been busy with... well, I've been busy.

EMILY: Well, I haven't done my shopping yet either. Maybe we could go together.

LORELAI: Okay. Um, sure. But, not today.

EMILY: Why?

LORELAI: I promised Kirk we could start a never-ending game of Monopoly tonight... don't ask.

EMILY: How about tomorrow?

LORELAI: Yeah. Tomorrow. Great.

EMILY: Good.

Lorelai and Emily arrive at Sookie's house.

LORELAI: Here we are.

EMILY: Well, this is nice.

LORELAI: How come that sounded so sincere?

EMILY: Because it is. Nothing like the pigsty you call a home.

LORELAI: Thanks mom. Feelin' the love.

_Lorelai knocks, then enters_

INT. SOOKIE'S HOUSE

EMILY: Lorelai!

LORELAI: What? Sook! You here!

EMILY: You don't just enter someone's home. You ring the bell and wait patiently for someone to answer.

LORELAI: But with Sookie that may take years. Sookie! Jackson!

_SOOKIE comes out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel_

SOOKIE: Hey hon. Oh, Mrs. Gilmore, hi.

EMILY: Hello Sookie.

LORELAI: We're here to double-check the menu.

SOOKIE: Oh, I was just working on the cakes.

EMILY: Cakes?

LORELAI: Coconut, chocolate-raspberry, and chocolate-chocolate.

EMILY: Rory cannot possibly eat all of that.

LORELAI: Actually, she could. And anyway, she won't be the only one doing the eating. We're having a lot of people at this thing, you know.

EMILY: I suppose you're right.

LORELAI: Sookie, mark this day on the calendar.

SOOKIE: So Mrs. Gilmore, would you like to sample?

EMILY: I'd love to.

LORELAI: I'm right and she gets to sample.

_Emily smiles snidely at Lorelai_

INT. RORY'S DORM ROOM

_Night. Rory enters and drops her bag on the floor. She notices the answering machine blinking and punches the 'play' button Song_

**No Name #3-Elliot Smith**

MACHINE: You have one new message...

LORELAI: (on machine) Rory? Hey, it's mom. I guess I missed ya. Well, call me when you get in. I need to know if you want cake or pie for your party. Well, Sookie needs to know. Actually, I bet she can do both. Yeah, that sounds good. Okay, I guess that's taken care of. Call me anyway though, okay? You're never going to guess who I hung out with...What? No, Kirk...Kirk, don't! You can't buy houses now...it's my turn...I said 'Time Out'....Rory, I'll call you back. Or, you call me. (click)

_Rory sighs and flops on her bed. She looks at the phone then rolls over, and curls up, staring at the wall_

::Second Commercial Break::

INT. LUKE'S DINER

_Lorelai enters and sits at the counter._

LUKE: Hey.

LORELAI: Hi.

LUKE: Refueling for another day with Mommy Dearest?

LORELAI: We're going shopping.

LUKE: Glad I'm not you.

LORELAI: Thanks. Really.

_There's a short silence_

LUKE: You haven't even asked for coffee yet. You okay?

LORELAI: Oh, I'm fine. Coffee?

_Luke hands her a mug of coffee_

LUKE: Here. You sure you're alright?

LORELAI: It's just... I called Rory last night and she never called me back.

LUKE: She's probably just busy.

LORELAI: That's what I thought too... but she always calls back. Always. Even if it's one o'clock in the morning and B52 Bombers are outside her window dropping... bombs. She calls back.

LUKE: Well, how's Rory doing at college? How's she adjusting?

LORELAI: She's great. She's Rory. She's having the time of her life.

LUKE: Ok.

LORELAI: Why?

LUKE: It's just that sometimes when kids go to college, they've been known to get a little depressed.

LORELAI: And you would know this how..?

LUKE: I read it in a book.

LORELAI: And you would be reading books about college students and depression why?

LUKE: It's not important.

LORELAI: Were you reading it for Rory? That's so sweet.

LUKE: I wasn't reading it for Rory.

LORELAI: Well, I can only think of one other reason, but Luke, I think you're a little to old to pose as a college student.

LUKE: Lorelai...

LORELAI: A professor maybe....

LUKE: I was reading it for Jess (pause). Last year, (trying to sound casual) I thought, maybe, he would go, so I got a bunch of books....but it ended up being pointless. So, never mind.

_Luke walks back to the counter, puts the coffee pot down and goes upstairs. Lorelai lets out a sigh and goes after him_

INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT

LORELAI: Luke? Are you here?

_There's no answer. She goes in and looks around the apartment for a second. She notices that most of Jess's stuff is gone. There is some Nicole's stuff, but not really too much_

LUKE: Hey.

LORELAI:(turns) You scared me.

LUKE: You're in my apartment.

LORELAI: Yes.

LUKE: You sneak into my apartment and I scared you?

LORELAI: I knocked, and called out.

LUKE: I was in the bathroom.

LORELAI: Oh. So I see Nicole moved some of her stuff in.

LUKE: Yeah. (smiles) No dolls though.

LORELAI: Just wait for it.

LUKE: I thought you said women don't have dolls.

LORELAI: I lied.

_Both smile_

LORELAI: You made room.

LUKE: That I did.

LORELAI: (pause) I'm sorry about before.

LUKE: It's ok.

_They smile faintly at each other_

LORELAI: I'm gonna go, I'm meeting my mother.

LUKE: Yeah. Have a good time.

LORELAI: Emily Gilmore and a good time...no, its just feels wrong in the same sentence.

LUKE: (smiles) I'll see you later?

LORELAI: (deadpan) No, actually, I'm cooking a full 5 course meal for me and Kirk. Tonight's the night I finally tell him that I love him. Wish me luck.

LUKE: I'll see you later.

LORELAI: Yeah.

_They smile again and Lorelai leaves_

INT. NEW HAVEN

_Rory is walking down the hall. Paris catches up with her._

PARIS: Rory

RORY: Paris.

PARIS: I got your message,

RORY: Oh good. I was hoping you would. Didn't want you waiting at the library forever.

PARIS: I got it after I waited at the library forever.

RORY: Oh. Sorry. I had thing.

PARIS: When are we going to do this Rory? You keep blowing it off.

RORY: I'm not blowing it off. It's just maybe we should just split the project. I do my half, you do yours, we staple it together and hand it in.

PARIS: It doesn't work that way, Rory. You know it. I can do this on my own, if that's what you want.

RORY: No, that's not what I want. (sighs) How about tonight?

PARIS: We'll meet at your room.

RORY: Actually, my room is really messy and--

PARIS: Fine. My room.

RORY: Okay.

_Paris leaves. Rory goes to check her mail. She finds a copy of "Oliver Twist" in her mail box. On the inside cover is says "Happy Birthday Rory." She looks at it curiously._

INT. HARTFORD STORE

_Lorelai and Emily enter._

WOMAN: Hello, Emily. Nice to see you again. Would you like some coffee?

EMILY: Why yes, Sharon. That would be lovely. Sharon, this is my daughter Lorelai.

SHARON: Hello, Lorelai. Coffee for you, too?

LORELAI: Um, yeah. Great.

SHARON: Excellent. I'll be right with you ladies.

LORELAI: So God's name is Sharon.

EMILY: Sharon's a lovely girl.

_Lorelai notices a plate of chocolate biscuits_

LORELAI: Oh my God! Can I take one?

EMILY: Of course, Lorelai. That's what they're there for. Take as many as you like.

LORELAI: Well I'd like to dump the whole thing in my purse.

EMILY: Take one.

LORELAI: One it is. (she takes one) Mm. So good.

_Sharon returns with the coffee_

SHARON: Here you go, ladies. Now, how can I help you?

EMILY: It's my granddaughter's birthday and I want to get her something special.

SHARON: How old will she be?

EMILY: Nineteen.

SHARON: (to Lorelai) Yours?

LORELAI: (mouth full) Mm hmm.

SHARON: Well, what do you say we pick her a wonderful gift and treat her beautiful mother and grandmother to something as well.

EMILY: I was thinking something in the area of jewelry.

LORELAI: For me?

EMILY: For Rory.

LORELAI: Oh.

SHARON: (laughs) Right this way.

_Emily and Sharon walk away while Lorelai stuffs some biscuits in her purse. Later. Lorelai and Emily go to the car. A young man loads their packages. Emily tips him and they get in the car._

LORELAI: I have to say, that was a whole new level to the joy of shopping.

EMILY: There is a world beyond Stars Hollow flea markets.

LORELAI: And you were good. I saw the way that saleswoman thought she was working you when you were really working her. Nicely done, mom.

EMILY: Yes, well, as they say, practice makes perfect.

_Lorelai nods and starts up the car._

EMILY: We should practice more often, perhaps.

LORELAI: Yeah. _(smiles) _Maybe.

_They pull away and drive off_

INT. PARIS'S DORM ROOM

**Seeing things for the first time-black crows**

_Rory is at Paris's room door. She's about to knock but stops. She digs in her bag and pulls out some papers. Attached is a post-it, reading, "Sorry. Can't stay to work on the project. Here's my half of the assignment. -Rory." She slips it under the door and walks away._

INT. GILMORE HOUSE

_Friday. Lorelai is decorating the house. Kirk comes in._

LORELAI: You're here early.

KIRK: Just delivering the mail. Thought I'd leave it on the table.

LORELAI: That's okay. Just bring it here.

KIRK: Why don't I just go put it on the table?

LORELAI: That's all right, Kirk. I'll take it.

KIRK: Okay. Just remember, don't kill the messenger.

LORELAI: What?

_Kirk throws the mail at her and runs out. (**Song: seeing things for the first time cont**.) She picks up the envelopes from the floor. She cauciously opens a large white envelope and take out a small card that reads:_

_You are cordially invited to the weading of Sherry Louise Tinsdale and Christopher Andrew Hayden_

_Lorelai closes her eyes and takes a deep breath_

INT. LUKE'S

_Luke is on the phone. (song cont.)_

LUKE: I'm telling you the car was stolen! Look, I don't know where he is and I can't contact him, but I know he didn't take it! Well for one, he's miles away and number two, he didn't even know I had it! He thought it was stolen! Because I told him it was to keep him from using it to cut classes! Yes, okay, I learned my lesson. I won't lie anymore. But what about "thou shalt not steal"? When's that guy going to learn his lesson?! The guy who stole my car! Fine, the guy or woman who stole my car! Fine, my estranged nephew's car! Well thanks. You've been a great help.

_Luke slams the phone on the receiver._

INT. LIBRARY

_Rory is at the library studying. Paris comes up to her and throws some papers in front of her._

PARIS: What is this?

RORY: My part of the project.

PARIS: You know, this is exactly what I didn't want. To end up taking up someone else's slack. I don't know what's gotten into you. I left you message after message. You don't answer your calls. You stood me up five times. I would have been better off with Jennifer Gellan. I don't know why I asked to work with you.

RORY: (on tilt) I don't know why you did either. I told you I didn't mind working with Gunther. Did it ever occur to you maybe I wanted to work with some apathetic jock who would just let me do the work alone in my room instead of a neurotic, eugenics supporting, study group planning nut case who has to meet to plan the heading on the page? Well, news flash, Paris. I didn't ask to be your partner. And I didn't want to be your partner. So if this isn't how you wanted it, get over it, because it's not the way I wanted it either.

_Paris looks shocked and embarrassed as everyone in the library is looking at them. Rory realizes and immediately repents. She sighs._

RORY: Look, Paris, I--

PARIS: No. I think you said enough. I get it.

_Paris leaves. All eyes remain on Rory_

RORY: Show's over.

_They turn away. Rory sighs and returns to her book._

INT. GILMORE HOUSE

_Next day. Rory comes home._

LORELAI: Hey! Happy birthday!

_They hug_

RORY: Thanks.

LORELAI: Hey, didn't I say come ready to party?

RORY: Sorry. Bad week.

LORELAI: Anything you want to talk about?

RORY: Well no, it's not serious. It's just I blew up on Paris, and I'm feeling pretty bad about it.

LORELAI: Well, she had it coming.

RORY: So they say in Chicago.

LORELAI: So you're sure that's it?

RORY: That and... no, that's it.

LORELAI: Come on. I know there's something.

RORY: You do?

LORELAI: Yeah. I just got mine.

RORY: Oh no, I got mine at the beginning of the month.

LORELAI: What? What are you talking about?

RORY: I don't know. What are you talking about?

LORELAI: Your dad's wedding invitation.

RORY: Oh. He sent you one, too?

LORELAI: Weird, right?

RORY: I guess.

LORELAI: I don't know if I'm going to go.

RORY: Yeah... that's a tough one.

LORELAI: But either way, you should go. And you shouldn't feel bad about it. You know, he'll always be your dad and he'll always love you, and nothing's going to change that. You're not losing a family, you're gaining one. But just so you know, whatever you decide, I'm right behind you.

RORY: Thanks, mom.

_They hug_

LORELAI: So, feeling better?

RORY: (forced smile) Yeah.

LORELAI: Good. Because the party's in a half-hour. Oh, so just knock on your door and let Kirk know you're here. He'll get out of your way.

RORY: Okay.

_Goes to her room and knocks on the door. Kirk opens._

RORY: Hey, Kirk.

KIRK: Rory, hello. Welcome back.

RORY: Thanks. I hope my room's been comfortable enough for you.

KIRK: Oh yes, very.

_Rory stays outside her room and Kirk stays at the door. Silent._

RORY: So I'd love to be able to put my things away and change.

KIRK: Oh. You need me to get out of here.

RORY: Take your time.

_Kirk takes a long "good-bye" look at the room_

RORY: All right, Kirk. That's it.

_Kirk leaves the room and Rory enters._

EXT. STARS HOLLOW

_At the Party. Everyone is there. Rory continues to bump into people and mechanically puts on the smiley face and engages the polite conversation._

MISS PATTY: Rory, happy birthday, sweetheart.

RORY: Thank you. How are you, Miss Patty?

MISS PATTY: Oh, you know, nothing's changed around here. How's school?

RORY: Great, great.

Lorelai comes over

LORELAI: What's so great? This party, I hope.

RORY: That, and school. Miss Patty was asking me about school.

LORELAI: Well, of course that's great. This is Rory we're talking about.

MISS PATTY: Oh I know. (to Rory) So now, any cute boys over there in New Haven.

RORY: You know, I'm sure there are, but I can't say I've really noticed.

MISS PATTY: 'Cause you've got your head stuck in those books. You know, sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses, live it up a little.

LORELAI: Well, that's what tonight is for. Come on. The birthday girl must inaugurate the dancing.

_Lorelai and Rory walk into the crowd. Richard and Emily are waiting by the buffet table._

EMILY: Rory!

_Rory and Lorelai walk over._

RICHARD and EMILY: Happy Birthday, Rory!

RORY: Thanks, grandma, grandpa. Glad you could come.

RICHARD: So how does it feel to be a beautiful, intelligent nineteen year old young woman attending one of the finest universities in America?

RORY: Um, great.

EMILY: Lorelai, everything looks lovely.

LORELAI: Thanks, mom.

EMILY: Except that gazebo.

LORELAI: (to Rory) You see how I got that "thanks, mom" in there before it came.

RORY: You're getting good.

_Kirk comes over on the gathering._

KIRK: Excuse me, Lorelai. Oh hello, Mrs. Gilmore. And you must be Mr. Gilmore.

RICHARD: Yes.

EMILY: Richard, this is Kirk.

RICHARD: Ah. The young man living with Lorelai.

LORELAI: Temporarily.

KIRK: Nice to meet you, sir.

RICHARD: And what is it you do, Kirk?

KIRK: I'm a United States Postal Worker, licensed mechanic, ordained minister for the Church of Jesus Christ and the Cyborg Saints, audiovisual media consultant at Stars Hollow's Video Store, and certified engineer in physical aesthetics at Stars Hollow Beauty Supply. I also manufacture my own line of beauty products on the side. Most of all, however, I am a filmmaker. I make small, independent films, not exactly Operation Greenlight, but worthy nevertheless. I'm working on a project right now that I hope to take to Kahn.

EMILY: Cannes Film Festival in France?

KIRK: No. Kahn, the German guy in Stamford. He converts video cassettes to DVDs. Have to keep up with the times, you know.

RICHARD: (sarcastically) Well, that's quite a resume.

LORELAI: So what's up, Kirk?

KIRK: There seems to be a problem with the mechanical bull.

RORY: Mechanical bull?!

LORELAI: (to Kirk) Shh. Be right back, sweetie.

_leaves with Kirk_

RICHARD: Well, that's an interesting roommate, to say the least.

EMILY: Sometimes I just don't know about that girl.

RICHARD: (to Rory, smiling) Well, I suppose not having a roommate has its benefits.

RORY: Yeah. Um, enjoy the food. Mingle. I'm going to check out that pin the tail on Bootsy game.

RICHARD: Have fun.

_Rory walks through the party, on the other side of the square, Kirk, Andrew, Jackson, and Bootsy are trying to hold still an insane mechanical bull. Elsewhere, Miss Patty and Babette chase a blindfolded Bootsy in a donkey outfit with a tail. Rory shakes her head and begins heading away from the commotion._

VOICE: Rory!

_Rory looks back and sees LANE running toward her._

LANE: Rory. Hey, happy birthday!

RORY: Thanks.

LANE: So where are you going?

RORY: Oh, um, I just wanted to get something from the house.

LANE: Okay. I'll go with you.

RORY: You know what, it's okay. I don't need it. Let's go back to the party.

LANE: Okay. We have to make a pit stop around the side of Luke's, though.

RORY: What for?

LANE: To meet Dave.

RORY: Why is he around the side of Luke's?

LANE: That's how we arranged to meet. Then we're going to start walking away from the Town Square, go all the way around until we get to the back of the church, and sneak over to watch the revenge of the mechanical bull. You in?

RORY: Okay. But why are we sneaking?

LANE: 'Cause it's me and Dave.

RORY: But doesn't Mrs. Kim know about you two already?

LANE: Yeah, but we kind of got used to the secret agent clandestine operations. It's what we do now.

RORY: So when are we meeting Dave?

LANE: At twenty hundred hours.

RORY: Okay.

LANE: So how's school? Is it hell all over again? Oh wait, I forgot. You go to Yale with normal people, male and female. Not Adventist college where not even the Brady Bunch is considered appropriate television.

RORY: Yeah.

LANE: Are you okay?

RORY: Yeah. Why do you ask?

LANE: I don't know. You just seem strange.

RORY: You've arranged to meet your publicly pronounced boyfriend by Luke's garbage cans and I seem strange?

_They laugh and retreat around the side of Luke's At the Party. Music is playing. People are dancing. Emily and Richard are seated at a table with Miss Patty, Babette, Morey, and Kirk, finishing their meal._

EMILY: Oh, I love this song. Richard, come on, let's dance.

RICHARD: Emily, are you insane? You're the one that told me not to put my gel pads in my shoes.

EMILY: You walk ridiculously with those gel pads. Like Herman Munster.

RICHARD: Well, I'll walk just as ridiculously with foot pain from dancing all night.

BABETTE: I can't get Morey to dance with me either.

MOREY: I play the music. I don't dance to it.

MISS PATTY: You know, Kirk is my finest pupil. Why don't you take her out to dance, Kirk.

KIRK: I would be my pleasure, Mrs. Gilmore.

EMILY: No, I'm afraid that's all right.

RICHARD: No, Emily, go ahead. This I have to see.

EMILY: Fine, then.

_Kirk gets up and takes Emily to the dance floor. He slips the DJ a quarter to play "Cheek to Cheek." They begin dancing. It is at first a simple side to side. Then Kirk gives Emily a graceful turn, and they're off. Like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. All the townies come to watch. Emily is in her glory. Kirk breaks into a tap dancing step, and recovers Emily, as they begin to move in waltzing pirouettes. The song ends, and they stop dancing, to great applause from all present._

KIRK: Well, I think I'm ready to face the bull again now.

_He leaves as Emily returns to the table_

EMILY: I must say that Kirk is a wonderful dancer.

MISS PATTY: What did I tell you? The boy has his charms.

EMILY: I guess so. (smiling) Now Richard, would that have been so hard.

RICHARD: (sunken) Well I bet he had gel pads in his shoes.

_Lorelai comes over_

LORELAI: So there's the dancing queen. Wow mom, you looked great out there.

EMILY: Thank you, Lorelai.

MISS PATTY: Were you a dancer, Emily?

EMILY: Well, I did take dance in high school. Top of the class.

RICHARD: Oh please.

_Meanwhile, Rory, Lane, and Dave are walking through the festivities._

LANE: Oh, have you seen your cakes yet?

RORY: Uh, no. Actually, I haven't...

LANE: What do you say we sneak to the cake table and steal a finger of frosting?

RORY: What is it with you and sneaking? We don't have to sneak.

LANE: But we've got all this left over sneaking energy.

DAVE: Yeah. It's just not the same anymore when you don't have to jump out of a moving car.

LANE: So true.

_They arrive at the dessert table. Sookie is still setting things up._

SOOKIE: Hey, Rory! How's the birthday girl enjoying her party.

RORY: (middling tone) Oh, it's great, Sookie. You really shouldn't have gone through all this trouble.

SOOKIE: You know it's no trouble at all. Did you see the cakes? We have your favorites.

LANE: And your not-so-favorites. That little one over there my mom made. It's tofu custard.

DAVE: Am I going to have to eat that?

LANE: Probably.

DAVE: Okay. Well, let me buy some Tums now, then. I'll be right back.

LANE: Okay.

_Andrew and Kirk are carrying Jackson past Sookie_

SOOKIE: Wait! What happened?

KIRK: (in near tears) Oh, you should have seen it. He was so brave.

ANDREW: Hemingway would have written about it.

KIRK: But that bull was just too much for him.

JACKSON: Would you guys cut it out! I just hurt my back. And I think I blew out my knee.

SOOKIE: That's it! That bull has thrown down its last matador.

_Sookie puts down her kitchen mitts._

LANE: (to Rory) This I gotta see.

_The group follow Sookie to Luke's._

LUKE: Sookie, I'm bringing out another batch of coffee right now.

SOOKIE: I need a weapon. A bat. A two-by-four. Anything.

LUKE: What?

SOOKIE: Oh, forget it.

_She storms behind the counter and to the back, coming out with a baseball bat. _

SOOKIE: I'll bring it back.

_The group follow the armed Sookie to the raging bull. All the while, Kirk and Andrew are still carrying the injured Jackson._

JACKSON: Sookie, wait. What are you doing? You're pregnant. Don't do that. Kirk, take that away from her.

KIRK: I would but she's scaring me right now.

_Sookie stands in front of it and swings the bat right into its face. It stops moving._

LANE: Way to go, Sookie! Girl power! (she looks around) Hey, wher's Rory?

_Lorelai walks around the Town Square. She sees Lane getting her face painted and goes over._

LORELAI: Hey Lane, looking good. Would Mrs. Kim approve?

LANE: Dave's standing ready with the wet naps.

_Dave raises a container of wet naps._

LORELAI: Ah. So listen, have you guys seen Rory?

LANE: Yeah, we were hanging out for a while, but she disappeared when Sookie killed the bull. I figured she went to get you.

LORELAI: It was Sookie! Man, I would have loved to see that.

LANE: You mean, Rory didn't tell you?

LORELAI: No, I haven't seen her.

LANE: (getting up) I'll help you look for her.

LORELAI: No, no, no. You get you face painted and unpainted. Don't worry. She's probably at the table with my parents.

_At the table, Kirk and Emily are conversing while Richard's rests his face on his hand in boredom_

EMILY: I can't believe your mother would drive you out of the house like that.

KIRK: Well, you just have to roll with the punches. I'm really grateful your daughter took me in. I know it's hard for her. I think she still has feelings for me.

_Lorelai appears standing above Kirk_

LORELAI: Yeah, I'm feeling a bit nauseous right now. Hey mom, have you seen Rory?

EMILY: No. The last I saw her she was going to watch them try to stick a tail to that poor man's rear. Really, Lorelai, where do you come up with these things.

LORELAI: It was Luke's idea, I swear.

EMILY: Is Rory missing?

LORELAI: Nah. She's probably around somewhere. We'll be cutting the cake soon, so you know. Once I find her.

_Lorelai leaves. She walks around the broken bull, while scanning the area around the gazebo. With a determined look on her face, she begins to leave the square and head down the illuminated street._

SOOKIE: Lorelai!

LORELAI: (turns) Yeah.

SOOKIE: Where you heading to?

LORELAI: I was going to look for Rory

SOOKIE: Can that wait? We have a bit of a situation.

LORELAI: What kind of situation? Did Jackson try to stand up? That guy-

SOOKIE: No, it's Patty. She had a few too many and she started a conga line while singing "Copa Cabana", and she fell and twisted her ankle.

LORELAI: God, is she okay?

SOOKIE: She thinks she is. But her ankle is all puffy and swollen, and I think I can see the bone poking

out.

LORELAI: Eww.

SOOKIE: She's laying on the ground, giggling uncontrollably.

LORELAI: I'm coming.

**song: Water Colors by Janis Ian**

_Luke walks out of the diner and takes a look around the square to see the whole town dancing and celebrating. The destroyed bull, a torn and tattered Bootsy still running from a group of kids armed with pins. Miss Patty and Babette sitting on the ground, thoroughly inebriated with a concerned Lorelai checking up on them before heading back to the festivities. Luke, shakes his head, quickly walking away before Lorelai sees him and forces him join in. _

EXT. BRIDGE

_Luke approaches the bridge, but someone is already there. He sits. After a few minutes..._

LUKE: Some party.

RORY: Yeah.

LUKE: So how are you?

Rory (_trying to cover)_: Me? Oh I'm—

_She sees the look on Luke's face. Relaxed and open for the first time in a while, she can be honest._

RORY: not sure.

_Luke nods_

LUKE: Yeah.

_They stay like that for a while_

INT. NEW HAVEN

_Rory walks down the steps of Sterling Memorial Library fumbling with books and papers, and the messenger bag across her shoulder. She drops two books and, bending over to pick them up, her papers fly out of her grasp and scatters in the breeze._

YOUNG WOMAN: Rory, do you need some help?

RORY: (_looking up_) Oh hi, Casey. Um, one second.

_She tries quickly to snatch the papers scurrying down the steps. Casey helps. They get all of them except a one that got caught up in a particularly strong breeze and flies off. Rory gets up watching the paper go, mournfully._

RORY: Forget about that one

CASEY: Was it important?

RORY: Just my study sheet for my Comparative Politics test. No big deal.

_She shrugs it off_

CASEY: Oh, I was just wondering if you were going to Shapiro's talk on Friday, because a couple of us are going and we were thinking of doing a little something afterward."

RORY: Um, I was thinking about it, but I'm not sure yet.

CASEY: Okay, well, if you go, just look out for us. You can invite Paris if you want.

RORY: Okay. Thanks. I'll see.

CASEY: Great. See ya' later.

_Continues up the steps_

RORY: Okay.

CASEY: (_calling back over her shoulder_) Good luck on your test.

RORY: (_almost to herself_) Yeah, thanks.

_Rory stoops down once again and accommodates all her books and papers in her bag. Swinging it across her shoulder, she continues down the steps. She sees Paris and sighs. Sticking her hands in her pockets, she walks over._

RORY: Hey.

PARIS: (_coldly_) Hello.

RORY: Paris, you know, I'm sorry about the other day. It was just a bad week, and I took it out on you. I didn't mean it. It wasn't anything personal.

PARIS: Uh, let's see, "eugenics supporting, study group planning nut case." Those were your exact words if I remember correctly.

RORY: Yeah, I don't know where that came from. I just didn't mean it.

PARIS: You know, you were lucky that I wanted to work with you.

RORY: I know that. I just didn't want to be lucky right then.

PARIS: Well, whatever. I signed you up for our study session on Tuesday. If you don't want to go, don't bother leaving messages. Just don't show.

RORY: (_smiles_) Okay.

_They part ways. Rory continues walking when someone grabs her lightly on the arm_

OLIVER: Keep walking that fast and you might speed up the arrival of your twentieth birthday. Did you get my gift?

RORY: Gift?

OLIVER: Yeah, I left a book in your mail box. Don't tell me someone took it.

RORY: Oh that was you. Yeah, I got it. Thanks.

OLIVER: I didn't realize there was a line for strange men baring gifts. Or men baring strange gifts. I haven't really decided yet.

RORY: There isn't.

OLIVER: Good to know. Yeah, I noticed you didn't have it in your stack, and it's a personal favorite--one I keep close to my heart

RORY: Yeah? Why's that?

OLIVER: I was named after it. It's what my mom was reading when she was pregnant, so it was either Oliver or Dodger. And 'Dodger' come on, lets face it (snickers)

RORY: Right

OLIVER: So how does it feel to be 19?

RORY: One step closer to death

OLIVER: Yes... but you're also one step closer to being 21, which is the magical age when all those golden doors that are closed to you now, will welcome you with open arms...and taps, and that's what you should be focusing on

_Rory cracks a smile_

RORY: I'll try to keep that in mind

OLIVER: You do that. You know, you didn't make it to the party

RORY: No, I didn't

OLIVER: Which means you have to make it up to me.

RORY: I do?

OLIVER: Yes, good Miss Gilmore, and make no mistake, I do plan on collecting. Have a good day.

_**(Chorus of Watercolors)**_

_Oliver walks away. As he's walking away, something hits her on the side other side of her head. She looks down to find a paper airplane. She picks it up and unfolds the paper._

RORY: (gasping) My study sheet!

_She and looks around, confused, for the sender. No one. She shrugs, tucks it in her bag, and continues her walk across the Green._

__

Songs for Next Chapter

Hard Drive by Evan Dando

White Flag by Dido


	3. White Flag

Disclaimer: I don't own any character that has ever appeared on Gilmore Girls. They belong to Amy Sherman Pallidino. I do however, own any and all character in this fic that don't appear on Gilmore Girls.

_Talk not of wasted affection; affection never was wasted.  
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow_

For Marissa and everyone else who's lost faith

**Chapter 3: White Flag**

EXT. YALE CAMPUS HALLWAY

_Rory and Paris walking out of class_

RORY: Nicely done.

PARIS: Nicely done? Rory, two hundred students submitted their proposal; a hundred and ninety of them hate me. Why? 'Cause I'm in the top ten.

RORY: Come on Paris. That's not why they hate you.

_Paris shoots her a look which Rory shrugs off_

RORY: So, are we gonna eat or what? I'm starving.

_Paris walks towards the grade chart on the wall_

PARIS: Yeah, I just want to check my grade from Professor Andrews's class.

RORY: For what? You're always number one.

PARIS: And the crazy thing is...it never gets old.

_Rory sighs_

RORY: I still can't believe you're taking a graduate level class.

PARIS: Well, just because you can't handle it doesn't mean that I can't. Ok, read me the top student ID number.

RORY: The top score went to student ID number...hand drumroll...8438.

PARIS: Very funny, Rory. Now read the one that finished first on the test.

RORY: That is the one.

_Paris pushes Rory out of the way so she can see the print out_

PARIS: No. Can't be. My number's 9350. I'm supposed to be first.

RORY: Maybe nobody told the guy who grades the papers.

PARIS: I'm number two?

RORY: Whoa, whoa, wha.. what just happened here? Let's see, if you're number two...let me see if my math is correct...that means somebody else is number one. Huh!

PARIS: Where do you hide your abacus?

RORY: No, no, no, no. Now stay with me, stay with me. This means if you, if you were in the Olympics, you'd be uh...silver! And if you were a Brady, you'd be Jan!!

PARIS: You're enjoying this aren't you?

RORY: Is my enormous grin showing?

_Paris glares at Rory_

RORY: Paris, all this means is you're just going to have to study a little bit more.

_Paris stares straight ahead, determined as she walks away_

PARIS: Or...find out who's number one and take 'em down.

RORY: Yes, you're maturing nicely.

**::Opening Credits::**

EXT. CAMPUS

_Rory and fellow classmate are talking. Rory turns to leave, and he sees a book on the bench._

GUY: Hey, you forgot your book.

_Rory turns to boy._

RORY: That's not mine.

GUY: Oh, ok. Ask me tomorrow if I gave it to lost and found, cause I'll probably forget.

RORY:I'll drop it off, I'm heading that way anyway.

GUY: All right, cool.

_He gives Rory the book_

GUY: I'll see you tomorrow. Or maybe at the Quad later?

RORY: Yeah, um. Probably not.

GUY: Ok...

_Guy leaves a little hurt. Rory looks at the cover of the book, 'Sons and Lovers'. Intrigued, she turns it over to read the back as she walks down the hallway to her dorm. Upon turning a corner, she opens the book and begins flipping backwards through it. As her eyes scan the pages, her walking slows; her eyes widen until she comes to a complete stop. The first half of the book with familiarly written notes in the margins._

CUT TO:

_Jess. He approaches a bench and reaches for his book. Realizing he doesn't have it, he pauses for a moment, before turning back in the direction that he came._

EXT. YALE COURTYARD

_Jess sees the book lying on the bench with no one around. He goes to pick up the book, but he sees that the second half of the book is torn out. Rory comes out of hiding surprising Jess._

RORY: Looking for this?

_Rory holds up the second half of the book. Jess looks on, shocked and rather nervous though he maintains his casualness..._

JESS: Yeah actually.

RORY: He doesn't stay.

JESS: Thanks, you just saved me the trouble of reading it.

RORY: _(slightly angry) _What are you doing here?

JESS: _(matter-of-factly) _Looking for my book

_Rory is not amused, he presses forcefully_

RORY: What are you doing here?

_Jess looks down momentarily, then away_

JESS: I didn't say goodbye?

_Rory just looks at him; she's not charmed, she's not amused, she's a mix of mad and surprised and just....bewilderment. She's detached; she's numb, but if she's anything she's angry._

JESS: Rory we need to talk...

RORY: I said everything I needed to say over the phone.

JESS: And what about me? Don't I get the chance to explain.

RORY: You had your chance. You blew it.

**::beat::**

RORY: Goodbye Jess.

_She turns and walks away leaving Jess standing there._

__

__

EXT. STARS HOLLOW

_Lorelai and Sookie are walking around the town, window shopping._

LORELAI: Sookie, wait. We have to stop here.

_They stop at a jewelry boutique._

SOOKIE: What are we doing here?

LORELAI: Fawning.

SOOKIE: What are we fawning at?

LORELAI: The most beautiful earrings in the world.

SOOKIE: _(pointing)_Those?

LORELAI: Yep.

SOOKIE: _(gasping)_ Those are the most beautiful earrings in the world.

LORELAI: And they go perfectly with that necklace I bought for your wedding.

SOOKIE: You mean the most beautiful necklace that Audrey Hepburn never wore.

LORELAI: That's the one.

SOOKIE: You're right. They're perfect. You should buy them.

LORELAI: Sure. But first, let's go to pick up our government cheese.

SOOKIE: Oh that's right. They must be expensive.

LORELAI: And this time I don't have the excuse of a wedding.

SOOKIE: Janine Hooverman is getting married.

LORELAI: Well, let's see how I can get myself invited to that wedding.

SOOKIE: She's looking for caterers.

LORELAI: I see what you're saying. I recommend a good caterer to her and she's so grateful she sends me an invitation. Good thinking.

_Lorelai looks up and taps her chin_

LORELAI: Now who to recommend...

SOOKIE: You could recommend us.

LORELAI: Us? We're not caterers.

SOOKIE: What are you talking about? We catered things at the inn all the time.

LORELAI: Yeah, but that was different.

SOOKIE: How so?

LORELAI: We had money then.

SOOKIE: But this could be a way to make money. We're good caterers. We can use some of the money we have for the new inn to start off with, pay it back with the money we make, plus some for the next job, and pretty soon we start making a profit.

LORELAI: Who would hire us?

SOOKIE: Hopefully, Janine Hooverman.

LORELAI: She's getting married.

SOOKIE: Yes.

LORELAI: It could work.

SOOKIE: Of course it could.

LORELAI: Okay. So our first gig. Hooverman and...Who's she marrying?

SOOKIE: Peter Lemon.

LORELAI: Ooh. Not good.

SOOKIE: What?

LORELAI: I dated the groom.

SOOKIE: So?

LORELAI: It wasn't good.

SOOKIE: What happened?

LORELAI: Well, let's just say when life gives you Lemons, you can't always make lemonade. It made my list of worst dates ever, but he's still a little hung up on me. I think I might have bumped into him and Janine on one of their dates. I don't know. I just wouldn't want to step in Mrs. Lemon's limelight.

SOOKIE: And you wouldn't be able to stop with the Lemon jokes.

LORELAI: No.

SOOKIE: _(sigh)_ Well, we can't go by who you dated or who wanted to date you or we won't be able to cater any weddings.

LORELAI: Hey, when did I become the town slut?

SOOKIE: What about Christopher's wedding?

LORELAI: Hello. I dated him, too. I even had his kid. Huh. Maybe I am the town slut.

SOOKIE: Does he have caterers?

LORELAI: We are not catering Chris' wedding.

SOOKIE: Why not? If you have to be there anyway, might as well make money off of it.

LORELAI: But since I'm not going to be there, I'd feel a little guilty making money off of it.

SOOKIE: You're not going?

LORELAI: No. I already sent back the invitation card. It'd be too weird, you know. It's Chris.

SOOKIE: What about Rory?

LORELAI: Oh, she's going.

SOOKIE: By herself?

LORELAI: She went all the way to Yale all by herself. I'm sure she could make it to Boston.

SOOKIE: So you're not going.

LORELAI: No.

SOOKIE: All right. So no Janine Hooverman. No Chris. It's okay. I'm sure we'll find something. It's the season for weddings. _(noticing a crowd in the town square)_ I wonder what's going on over there.

LORELAI: _(deadpan)_ Probably a wedding. Actually, I think that's the raising of the town flag. Taylor said something about that at the last meeting.

SOOKIE: That's right. But already, you think? Let's go over.

LORELAI: But I want coffee now. All this wedding talk killed my buzz.

SOOKIE: Okay, coffee first.

EXT. LUKE'S DINER

_On the door is a sign: 'Leave all flags and flag paraphernalia at the door or you will not be served. The Management.'_

_  
_LORELAI: Yep. That's the flag raising over there.

_They go and take a table_

LUKE: What do you want?

LORELAI: We were actually looking for t-shirts with the town flag. Do you have any left?

LUKE: Don't start.

LORELAI: Just an innocent question.

LUKE: Look, I don't want to know anything about flags. I don't want to even here the word 'flag' in my diner. This is a flag free zone.

LORELAI: That's funny 'cause you just said it three time.

LUKE: If you ask me, this whole thing is ridiculous. Now all day I'm going to have to see those stupid flags...

LORELAI: Shh. This is a bleep free zone.

LUKE: How many disasters in history occurred because someone wanted to put up a dumb flag somewhere?

LORELAI: You say that word one more time and I'm calling the Management.

LUKE: _(to Sookie)_ I'm willing to wait on you, how's that?

SOOKIE: What kind of peppers do you use in the Western omelet?

LUKE: I give up.

_Luke walks away. The bell above the door sounds as Taylor enters; a man with a mission_

TAYLOR: Luke. Just the person I wanted to see. I thought I'd see you at the ceremony, but...

LUKE: You know I wasn't going to the ceremony.

TAYLOR: Yes, well, you can still support the cause. I was wondering if you would use these Stars Hollow flag mugs instead of those plain, drab ones. Just for the day.

LUKE: No.

TAYLOR: Now, Luke...

LUKE: No, no, no. I like the plain, drab mugs. Do you know why? No propaganda.

TAYLOR: This is not propaganda, Luke. This is town pride.

LUKE: No, this is stupid.

TAYLOR: This flag _(pointing to the flag on the mug)_ represents fellowship, fraternity, and community.

LUKE: It's a mug, Taylor.

LORELAI: What's the whole deal with the flag anyway, Taylor? And if we have to say the Pledge of Allegiance in front of it, do we leave out 'under God'?

LUKE: No, just replace it with 'under Taylor'?

TAYLOR: If either of you had been to the ceremony, you would know. But for your own edification, I will just have you know that this flag is going to bring about communal solidarity. Whenever a member of the town experiences a tragedy of some sort, lost a friend or loved one, that person is entitled to lower the flag to half mast, at which point, anyone around will gather and find out what has happened in that person's life and will be able to support the person in his or her hour of need.

SOOKIE: _(wistfully)_ That's kind of nice.

LORELAI: Yeah.

LUKE: Do me a favor and don't lower the flag when I shoot myself.

TAYLOR: You don't have to tell me twice. Thank you once again, Luke, for your lack of cooperation.

LORELAI: Don't worry, Taylor. You can go higher than him. Speak to the Management.

TAYLOR: I hope you ladies will join the Town Flag celebration.

LORELAI: Will do. Oh, can I get one of those flag mugs?

TAYLOR: Well, I don't see why not.

_Taylor gives her mug and leaves. Lorelai holds the mug to Luke_

LORELAI: Coffee please?

_Luke rolls his eyes and pours the coffee_

__

INT. NEW HAVEN

_Rory is walking down the hall, not really paying attention to where she is going. A hand grabs her and pulls her into an empty classroom_

RORY: Whoa. Francie? Oh, Paris. Close.

PARIS: Lavinia Boyd.

RORY: Really? You look just like Paris Gellar.

PARIS: No, Lavinia Boyd is 8438.

RORY: What?

PARIS: Top score on the test.

RORY: Oh. How'd you find out?

PARIS: I have my sources.

RORY: And I thought they posted ID numbers for the anonymity.

PARIS: Do you know her?

RORY: No, she's still very anonymous to me.

PARIS: Fine, then. We need to research this

RORY: Paris, don't be ridiculous. So she got a higher score than you. What difference does it make?

PARIS: This isn't just about the score, Rory.

RORY: It isn't?

PARIS: No. Don't you see? We're born rivals. She got her name from the Aeneid. I got my name from the Iliad.

RORY: That explains it.

PARIS: This is destiny, Rory. This is our Kampf auf Leben und Tod.

RORY: Well, let me know how it turns out.

PARIS: You're not going to help me?

RORY: Am I going to be your accomplice in your psychotic competition? No. Look, Paris, I have work to do and things to take care of and a lot on my mind and I really just don't have time for this.

PARIS: You don't care about defending the Homeric Greek tradition.

RORY: Paris was a Trojan. And he was in the Aeneid, too.

PARIS: But he dies in the Aeneid. Is that what you want for me?

RORY: I don't think I should answer that just now.

EXT. STARS HOLLOW

_Miss Patty is lowering the town flag. Babette sees her from across the street_

BABETTE: Hey, everybody, look! Patty's lowering the flag. We better see what's wrong.

_A crowd gathers around the flag_

KIRK: What happened?

BABETTE: Yeah, honey. What's the matter?

MISS PATTY: I just got a letter that Bula just died. We used to do an act together.

LORELAI: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Patty.

TAYLOR: Were you two friends for a long time?

MISS PATTY: If you ask Bula, a very long time. But you can't ask her because she's dead!

_Miss Patty starts bawling_

BABETTE: Come on, sugar. We'll have a pint on it over at Luke's.

_Lorelai and Lane are standing side by side._

LANE: Poor Miss Patty.

LORELAI: Yeah.

LANE: I don't think I've ever seen her so upset.

LORELAI: Not since she lost that Greta Garbo look-a-like contest.

LANE: That's right.

_Taylor comes over._

TAYLOR: Now you see, ladies, this flag will remain at half-mast for the rest of the afternoon in memory of Bula.

LORELAI: I have to say, Taylor, this flag thing was a good idea. I might not have even known about Bula if it weren't for this.

TAYLOR: Well see, that's what it's for.

LANE: I'm going to offer a prayer for Bula at the Prayer Group. If you speak to Rory, tell her I'll call her tomorrow.

_Lane leaves_

LORELAI: I will.

TAYLOR: Well, I better draw up the announcement about Bula to post on the pole.

_Taylor leaves. Lorelai turns around and gasps. Christopher is standing looking right at her._

CHRIS: Hey.

LORELAI: Uh. Hi.

CHRIS: Can we talk?

LORELAI: Uh, I guess. Though I should warn you, I just found out Bula died so I might be a little out of it.

CHRIS: Who's Bula?

LORELAI: A good friend of a friend.

CHRIS: I'm sorry.

LORELAI: It's okay. So what's up?

CHRIS: You tell me.

LORELAI: Well, if you would have come five minutes earlier, I would have said the flag.

CHRIS: Yeah, I saw that. Look, Lorelai, I don't have a lot of time so let's not beat around the bush.

LORELAI: Does Sherry know you're here?

CHRIS: No. I mean, it's not that I'm hiding it from her. I just didn't see her before I left. Lorelai, what's this about?

_Chris holds up the reply card_

LORELAI: I thought it was about your wedding.

CHRIS: You checked no.

LORELAI: Did I? Well then, I guess I'm not going.

CHRIS: You have to go.

LORELAI: I'm sorry. I thought the two boxes on the card were there for a reason.

CHRIS: I mean, I want you to go.

LORELAI: Why?

CHRIS: Because I want Rory to go...

LORELAI: She's going.

CHRIS: She's not going to know anybody...

LORELAI: She knows you.

CHRIS: But you know, I'm going to be a little busy, getting married and all.

LORELAI: She'll bring a book.

CHRIS: I'm sure she will, but I want her to have a good time.

LORELAI: Rory has a great time with books. That's why she got into Yale.

CHRIS: She'd want you to be there and you know it.

LORELAI: I've talked to Rory about it and she understands. Why can't you? I mean, after everything...all...just everything...that...how can you stand there and ask me to go?

CHRIS: I just want you to.

LORELAI: Why?

CHRIS: I don't know. It's just that whenever I pictured myself getting married, I always pictured you there.

_He cocks a feeble smile_

LORELAI: I'm sorry, Christopher. I...I can't stand here having this conversation with you. I have to go.

CHRIS: Here. _(returning the card)_ I won't accept that until you've changed your mind.

_Lorelai takes the card and leaves._

__

INT. LUKE'S DINER  
  
_Babette and Miss Patty are at a table. Miss Patty is still in the aftermath of tears. Luke comes over_

LUKE: What can I get you two?

BABETTE: Can we get another minute, Luke?

LUKE: Sure. _(Notices Miss Patty)_ You okay, Patty?

BABETTE: Didn't you hear? Bula died. They lowered the flag and everything.

LUKE: Who's Bula?

BABETTE: They used to do an act together.

MISS PATTY: We worked together for 3 years.

LUKE: That's long, eh?

MISS PATTY: In Bulla's time, it was even longer. Twenty one years.

LUKE: Wait. You don't mean to tell me Bula's a dog?

MISS PATTY: Well, of course. I mean, what's so special about a human playing the piano? Oh, Bulla!

_She starts crying again_

BABETTE: I was the same way when Cinnamon died, the poor thing. Could you be a doll and get her some water?

LUKE: Uh, yeah.

INT. LIBRARY

_Next day. Rory is studying in the library. Paris enters the library, whips her head around quickly, and swiftly approaches her target_

PARIS: Okay, so it turns out that Brainy Boyd is the secretary for Students for the Refuge of Refugees.

RORY: _(not looking up)_ So she has a brain and a heart. That must kill you, doesn't it?

PARIS: They meet today. You have to come with me. I might need someone to hold me back.

RORY: Paris, please don't tell me you're looking for a fight with this girl.

PARIS: I didn't look for a fight with her. She's looking for a fight with me. She took what was rightfully mine. I'm just getting it back.

RORY: Poetic justice, don't you think? The grade that launched a thousand ships.

PARIS: The battle has already started, Rory. Now you're either with me or against me. Are you coming?

RORY: As much as I enjoy watching a good blood bath, I'm swamped. Can I offer some advice, though?

PARIS: If you've got any quotes from Gandhi, save it.

RORY: All I have to say is that one day, as great of a stretch of the imagination as it requires right now, you might need a tutor, and do you really want to make enemies with the only person who might actually be qualified to help you?

PARIS: You think she's better than me!

RORY: _(sighs)_ Forget it. I'm going to study in my room.

_She picks up her stuff and starts to leave._

PARIS: I'm going to remember this, Rory.

RORY: Paris, I'm just saying you should be nice to her. Maybe you could wreak your twisted revenge on her better as her friend than her adversary. Trust me. I'm living proof you can.

_She leaves_

__

EXT. STARS HOLLOW

_Andrew is lowering the flag. Everyone goes over._

MISS PATTY: Andrew, what's wrong?

ANDREW: Lolita just died.

KIRK: Who's Lolita?

ANDREW: My car.

GYPSY: Yep, she's a goner. Beyond fixing. Officially dead.

ANDREW: It used to be my dad's car. He loved it. More than he did my mom. And when he died, he left it to me. I thought he'd leave it to my brother because he was always the favorite.

BABETTE: That's true. Stan was always his favorite.

ANDREW: But he left it to me. It meant a lot to me. Just driving around in it, I felt my dad was right there.

EVERYONE: Aww.

GYPSY: Yeah, I feel bad for you, Andrew. But you need to get that hunk of junk out of my shop. It's taking up a lot of space.

BABETTE: Come on, Gypsy. Respect the flag.

KIRK: That's right. There is to be no moving of the car until the flag is raised again.

GYPSY: Fine. But as soon as that thing goes up, it better be out of there.

_Gypsy walks off. Everyone stays with their heads bowed around Andrew and the flag._

__

INT. INN

_Lorelai is looking through mail_

LORELAI: I can't believe this.

SOOKIE: What?

LORELAI: A disconnection notice for cable.

SOOKIE: Oh no.

LORELAI: How many pay-per-view? That's ridiculous! That's...Kirk.

SOOKIE: Then just tell him he has to pay half?

LORELAI: I can't. We made a deal. Since he cooks, pays rent, can't decorate his room, and can't leave his sci-fi magazines in the magazine rack, he gets free cable. But this, this is revenge. I used up his neutralizing lotion. He got pretty upset about it. So now I have to pay this bill and buy my own neutralizing lotion. Any news of any weddings? Heck, I'd even do a funeral.

SOOKIE: We could always camp around the flag and find out who died.

LORELAI: _(phone rings)_ Good idea _(she picks up)_ Hello.

CHRIS: I'm checking my mail.

LORELAI: That's funny. So am I? Did you get your cable bill?

CHRIS: No.

LORELAI: Want mine?

CHRIS: Thanks, but I think I've got my own on the way.

LORELAI: It's always good to have a spare.

CHRIS: I take it I'm not going to find anything from you in here.

LORELAI: Not unless you want my cable bill.

CHRIS: Come on, Lorelai. Let's be serious.

LORELAI: Look, Chris, I'm still not sure.

CHRIS: I'm just asking you to think about it.

LORELAI: That's not all you're asking for.

CHRIS: No, but that's good enough for now.

LORELAI: Well I am thinking about it. I'm thinking it's going to be huge mistake that I'll live to regret.

CHRIS: But you'll live.

LORELAI: To regret it.

CHRIS: Well, I'll tell you this much. I just lined up a great caterer, so you won't regret the food.

LORELAI: You're going to regret mentioning another great caterer with Sookie less than ten feet away.

CHRIS: Well, you'll cover for me, won't you?

LORELAI: I'll try.

CHRIS: I knew I could count on you. I am counting on you.

LORELAI: I'll think about it.

CHRIS: Thank you.

LORELAI: All right. So I gotta go.

CHRIS: Yeah, me too. Take it easy, Lor.

LORELAI: Yeah, you too.

_Lorelai hangs up and sighs_

SOOKIE: Chris?

LORELAI: Yeah.

SOOKIE: So I heard 'great caterer.' He needs a great caterer. He wants to hire us.

LORELAI: Nope. Sorry to tell you, but someone else grabbed our spot.

SOOKIE: But someone else is not a great caterer. Not greater than us.

LORELAI: I know. I know.

EXT. CAMPUS

_Rory is studying at a table outside when a cup of coffee is placed in front of her. Jess sits down across the table, watching her expectantly. Rory doesn't stop taking notes, nor does she look up._

RORY: _(deadpan)_ My mother always told me not to accept candy from strangers.

JESS: This isn't candy.

RORY: _(without looking up) _My mother always told me not to accept coffee from strangers.

JESS: _(smiling)_ No she didn't.

RORY: _(not looking up) _Is that so?

JESS: Lorelai would never turn down coffee, nor would she ever teach you to. No, she would probably say something like 'a stranger baring coffee is a friend you haven't met yet'.

_Rory's mouth curves up into a smile in spite of herself. Still not looking up, she quickly tries to cover it, but Jess has already noticed and is now smirking himself_

JESS: Besides, I'm not a stranger.

_Rory shakes her head_

JESS: _(sighs)_You can drink the coffee you know, its not poisoned. It is however, just the way you like it.

RORY: _(still not looking at him)_ I don't take my coffee that way anymore.

JESS: So... what? You're telling me that you've gotten into that trendy, flavored crap?

_Rory raises an eye brow in a 'maybe' way while keeping her eyes focused on her textbook_

JESS: That's not true.

RORY: _(bitterly)_ How would you know?

JESS: Because I know you.

_Rory rises and puts her textbook in her bag while keeping her eyes averted from Jess_

RORY: Yeah well, things change Jess.

_Jess grabs her arm lightly_

JESS: They don't change that much.

RORY: _(surrendering to eye contact)_ Yes, they do.

_She starts to walk away, but stops_

RORY: _(with her back to Jess) _and no, I haven't gotten into flavored coffees, I still take it black.

_She stands for a split second, and then keeps walking without looking back._

__

INT. LUKE'S DINER

_Luke is clearing some tables. Gypsy enters._

GYPSY: You know, I'm starting to think this whole flag business was a bad idea.

LUKE: Whatever you get is on the house.

GYPSY: Coffee. Black. Strong. No sugar.

_Lorelai comes in._

LORELAI: I'll have one of those, too. Or two of those, three. Two of those, please. No three.

LUKE: What's wrong with you?

LORELAI: _(sigh)_ Have you got an hour?

LUKE: Actually, I don't.

LORELAI: A half hour?

LUKE: Not really.

LORELAI: Then I'll just have the coffee. The three of them.

LUKE: Coming right up.

LORELAI: That was easy.

LUKE: Well, what can I say, Gypsy's thinking the flag was a bad idea. Pretty soon, everyone else will follow. The flag will be gone.

LORELAI: Huh. It's lowered again. Who died?

GYPSY: Lolita.

LORELAI: Oh, I never finished that book. Don't give away the ending. Oh that's right. I saw the movie. I know how it ends.

GYPSY: Lolita is Andrew's car. She went kaput.

LORELAI: Wow. First Bulla, now Lolita. Makes you realize how much death there is in the world.

LUKE: Because the thousands of children dying around the world didn't already give a clue. This is ridiculous and I can't believe I'm the only one that sees it. You don't declare regional mourning because a dog died or a car died. _(amazed)_ A car died. I can't believe I actually said that. It's a car. It doesn't die.

LORELAI: Why not? If they meant something to someone.

LUKE: It's a dog and a car for crying out loud! Dogs slobber and mark trees with their own waste. Cars get you from point A to point B. That's all they do.

GYPSY: And Andrew's car barely did that.

LORELAI: Bulla played the piano.

LUKE: Don't even get me started on that.

LORELAI: Can I just ask you something? Why does it bother you if they want to lower the flag over a dog or a car? You don't care about the flag, right?

LUKE: Because I've got that stupid flag right in my window. And every morning all my customers are running out of here to see who's lowering the flag for what. Tomorrow it'll be a dead hamster. The next day, a dead gold fish. The next day, a dead skin cell. I just wish these people would get it that some people have real problems.

LORELAI: _(going into a full on rant)_ Yeah. Some people have to find out how they're going to get money to pay the bills let alone buy themselves a pair of gorgeous earrings. And some people have to decide whether to just put the past behind them and go to the stupid wedding, or whether it's stupid to give in and go when you know you really shouldn't. So quite frankly, stressing about whether or not people want to raise or lower a flag over a piano playing dog and a good-for-nothing car just doesn't seem like a real problem to me!

LUKE: _(taken aback)_ What?

_Lorelai shakes her head and looks down, composing herself_

LORELAI: Forget it. Can I just get my coffee?

_Luke hands her the cups in a bag._

LORELAI: Thank you.

_Lorelai exits quickly, leaving Luke still dazed_

GYPSY: Some people have to keep that good-for-nothing car in their shop taking up space for paying customers.

EXT. STAR'S HOLLOW

_Lorelai outside Luke's Diner, takes out her cell phone and dials_

RORY: Hello?

LORELAI: Hey. How's it going?

RORY: Fine. You?

LORELAI: Fine. _(Pauses)_ You?

RORY: Um... I believe I just said fine.

LORELAI: Oh. Right. Sorry.

RORY: That's okay.

_Lorelai is silent for a moment as she slumps against Luke's window. Her face is scrunched up as she debates letting everything spill to Rory, but she doesn't want to bother her with it. She's also afraid of where the conversation might go, what it might make her face._

LORELAI: So...

RORY: So... Been busy?

LORELAI: Yeah... you?

RORY: Oh, yeah. Swamped actually. You know... papers and... stuff.

LORELAI: Yeah. Me too. Papers and... You know what? I'll just let you go. Since we're both so busy and all. We'll catch up later. Ok?

_Rory's face relaxes. She is eager to get off the phone so she doesn't have to lie to her mother._

RORY: Oh, yeah. That's fine. Good luck. With all the work.

LORELAI: You too. Bye.

RORY: Bye.

_Both girls let out a sigh and slump down, the weight of their problems becoming harder and harder to bear._

__

INT. CAMPUS  
_Paris approaches a classroom. People are exiting._

PARIS: _(to random student)_ Was this the SFRR meeting?

STUDENT: Yeah. It just finished.

PARIS: Is Lavinia Boyd still there?

STUDENT: Yeah. She's still in there.

PARIS: Good. Move out the way.

_Paris pushes the student and goes inside. _

__

INT. CLASSROOM

_Inside, a group of students are gathered around a table, talking. With them is a small girl, listening reverently to a young lady speak. Paris creeps over and overhears the young lady speaking._

YOUNG LADY: I think we should hold a teach-in. I have spoken to many willing and enthusiastic faculty who would be happy to host it. The students here cannot be expected to be anything more than representative of the nation and the nation itself suffers from a lethargic lack of consciousness.

ANOTHER STUDENT: I completely agree with you. We'll present it under new business at the next meeting.

YOUNG LADY: Thank you, Madam President.

STUDENT: So that's it. I'll see everyone next week.

_Paris steps up and approaches young lady. She approaches aggressively at first, but then stops and smiles and come off more nicely._

PARIS: Hello. You must be Lavinia Boyd. I'm Paris Gellar. Is this your little sister? She's cute.

YOUNG LADY: No. Actually, this is Lavinia Boyd. I'm Felicia Winthorp.

PARIS: _(to the small girl)_ You're Lavinia Boyd?

LAVINIA: Yes. Can I help you?

PARIS: You're Lavinia Boyd?

LAVINIA: Is something wrong?

PARIS: Yes. Something's terribly wrong. You can't be Lavinia Boyd. You're five years old.

LAVINIA: Twelve.

PARIS: What's your social security number?

LAVINIA: I'm twelve, I'm not stupid.

PARIS: Oh that's it. You're going down, sister. You think I'm going to back down just because you just got out of training pants? Well you've got another thing coming. This is war. And age ain't nothing but a number.

_Paris marches off in fumes_

__

INT. LUKE'S DINER

_Evening. Luke's. The diner is packed. Luke is serving._

BABETTE: Hey look, everyone. Kirk's lowering the flag. Let's go see what happened.

_Luke runs in front of the door._

LUKE: Nobody leaves until you finish your orders and pay for them.

MISS PATTY: But Luke, it's the flag.

MAURY: Yeah. You gotta respect the flag, man.

TAYLOR: I'm instituting a new rule. Restricting people's response to the flag is now illegal, subject to a twenty-five dollar fine.

LUKE: You can't do that, Taylor.

TAYLOR: I most certainly—

_Kirk pushes open the door, hitting Luke._

LUKE: Damn it, Kirk!

KIRK: Didn't anyone see I lowered the flag?

BABETTE: What happened, Kirk?

KIRK: I've lowered the flag for my lost virginity.

_There is complete silence for a few seconds, then everyone breaks out in laughter._

BABETTE: That's a good one, Kirk.

MISS PATTY: It's a good thing you kept us in here, Luke. If I'd have been out there, I might have peed my pants. Excuse me.

_She leaves for the restroom, laughing_

KIRK: I'm serious!

TAYLOR: Now, now, Kirk. You've given everyone a laugh, that's all well and good. But from now on I'm instituting a new law against fraudulent flag-lowering. I can't believe I didn't think of that before. Andrew, go raise the flag again.

_Andrew leaves_

KIRK: But I'm telling the truth! You believe me, don't you, Luke?

LUKE: Patty was just showing pictures of a dog playing the piano. I can probably believe anything right now.

KIRK: Thank you, Luke.

LUKE: Anything but that.

KIRK: Oh, come on. I'm serious, people!

TAYLOR: You keep it up, Kirk, and I'll issue you a ticket.

KIRK: But I'm not lying! And I have the check to prove it!

LUKE: You mean she paid you for it?

KIRK: Of course. You don't think I would have done it for free.

BABETTE: Now that is definitely illegal.

TAYLOR: Kirk, are you a prostitute?

LUKE: Now I've heard everything. Kirk, let me see that check?

KIRK: But it's mine.

LUKE: Just give me the check.

_Luke takes the check and looks at it_

LUKE: It's a sperm bank. You donated sperm? That's not losing your virginity.

Kirk; It isn't? I lost my little soldiers. They're going to impregnate someone.

LUKE: Jesus, Kirk's breeding. That's it.

_Luke leaves_

BABETTE: Hey, where's Luke going?

EXT. TOWN SQUARE

_Everyone exits the diner and follows Luke. He starts to lower the flag_

ANDREW: Now what are you lowering it for?

LUKE: My sanity!

INT. LUKE'S DINER

_Later that day... Lorelai comes into dinner, walks hesitantly to the counter. Luke eyes her as he wipes the counter_

LUKE: Hey.

LORELAI: Hey.

LUKE: Coffee?

LORELAI: Yeah.

_Lorelai Watches as Luke pours her a cup. _

LORELAI: Listen, I'm sorry about my little outburst earlier.

LUKE: _(Shrugs)_ It's okay. I had one myself this evening.

LORELAI: _(Small smile)_ So I heard. You okay?

LUKE: Yeah. How about you?

LORELAI: I don't know.

_Lorelai pauses, fiddling with the handle of her mug. _

LORELAI: Chris wants me to come to his wedding.

LUKE: Ah. So, are you?

LORELAI: I don't know. What would you do?

LUKE: _(Shakes head)_ It's up to you. I'd rather not get involved.

LORELAI: But I'm asking you to. What do you think I should do?

_Luke looks at her a moment before answering._

LUKE: I think you should go.

LORELAI: _(Stunned)_ Really?

LUKE: Yeah. I mean, it'd probably be really hard on Rory to have to go by herself. She could use you there for the support, and if it just so happens that he wants you there too, it's okay.

LORELAI: So if it were you in this situation, you would go? But what if you think it's a stupid union and you're in love with the groom?

LUKE: You're in love with him?

LORELAI: Yes... No... I don't know. I just figured somehow, someway we'd be together in the end. I know it doesn't make any sense, but it's always been there in the back of my mind. How can I sit there and watch him get married?

_Luke looks at her softly before answering_

LUKE: I guess if someone I... felt that way about was going to get married, I'd have to decide what was more important to me. Keeping that friendship, or holding onto some daydream I've got of being with her that'll probably never come true anyway.

_Lorelai gives him a strange look as he continues, now looking downward, cleaning the same spot on the counter over and over..._

LUKE: It's not about supporting the marriage, I mean, you _know_ the person is all wrong for them and you could give them so much more... It's about supporting the person you care about in what they decide is best for them. _(Pauses before meeting her questioning eyes)_ But you might want to ask me tomorrow. I still haven't gotten over the idea of little Kirks running around out there soon.

LORELAI: _(Making a face.)_ Ooh. One bad thought at a time, okay?

_They both laugh._

__

EXT. GILMORE HOUSE

_Lorelai is at the mailbox. She looks down at the revised reply card. She hesitates. A motorcycle roars by and stops. She looks up, expectantly, and watches as the stranger on the bike drops something in the trash and rides off. She sighs deeply and drops the card in the mailbox. Walking to the town square, she sits beneath the flag at half-mast._

INT. COFFEE SHOP

_  
Rory is in a coffee shop reading when Jess enters and approaches her. The second half of the torn book is in the pile of books on the table._

RORY: _(not looking up )_What do you want Jess?

JESS: Actually, I'm just looking for the second half of my book.

_Rory looks through her books, finds it, and thrusts it at him_

JESS: The Rory Gilmore I know wouldn't vandalize a literary work such as this.

RORY: Well the Jess Marian I know wouldn't leave without saying goodbye. Oh wait, yes he would, he's done it twice.

_Jess raises his eye brows in a sheepish way_

RORY: what are you still doing here?

JESS: Public place.

RORY: You know, you weren't this attentive when we were dating.

JESS: Well, technically, we are still dating.

RORY: _(Looking up)_ What?

JESS: Well, we never actually broke up.

RORY: (_amazed_)You're kidding me right?

JESS: Do you want me to be kidding?.

RORY: _(sincerely)_You know what? I can't do this, I really can't. I have school and I have my grandparents....basically, I have a life that I need to deal with. So I don't have the time or the patience or the will to sit here and let you play your little mind games with me. So just go back to California and just let me live my life in peace.

JESS: I can't.

RORY: What?

_Jess shrugs casually and looks away_

JESS: I can't go back.

_Rory looks at him. Her face softens as he looks at her and they lock eyes for a second. She sees how vulnerable and small he looks. She feels her resolve start to weaken, but then relents and her face -and willpower- harden again_

RORY: No. _(more forcefully)_ No, I'm sorry. I am sorry that things didn't work out with your dad. I really am. But that is not my problem. I cannot deal with this being my problem.

JESS: Rory...

RORY: You left! You left Jess, so anything that happened after that...You're on your own Jess. That's how you wanted it. You had people who cared about you, people who..._(Rory accidentally meets his eyes for a second. She looks hurt and upset, but only for a split second before she recovers) _You chose this.

_Jess stares straight ahead, past Rory. He knows Rory's right_

RORY: _(calmer and softer)_ Did you go to Luke? I mean, he'll probably be mad and everything, but its Luke. Once, when I was around 4 or 5, I tried to get coffee myself. So I snuck behind the counter and I got the coffee pot in my hand, but then I dropped it and it broke. Luke got mad and yelled and I ran away and hid. He found me a little while later and he said that he wasn't mad that I had broken the coffee pot, but rather that I had put myself in a position to get hurt. And that he wasn't yelling at me, he was just yelling. And that I wasn't allowed behind the counter, but that all I had to do was ask and he would get me anything I wanted. See, he wasn't really angry at me. He was more angry at himself. That was the day that I stopped being scared of Luke.

JESS: _(amused) _You were scared of Luke?

RORY: Well, Luke's big and scruffy and he doesn't talk much, and when he does, it comes out sounding harsh most of the time. He's scary to a 5 yr old.

_They both smile and laugh a little_

RORY: But seriously, did you talk to him? I mean, he'd probably be mad at first but...

JESS: I tried

_Rory looks at him_

JESS: I went to Stars Hollow, and I tried. But I just...I couldn't face him.

_Rory nods solemnly. She tucks an invisible strand of hair behind her ear and furrows her brow a little._

RORY: Well, what about going back to New York. I mean, you mom is there and...

JESS: _(shaking his head)_ I burned a lot of bridges in New York...and one car.

_Rory looks at him sideways_

JESS: Don't ask. Point is, I can't. Liz...its not an option.

_Rory nods her head_

JESS: I have nowhere to go Rory. If I did, do you really think I'd be here?

_Rory looks up sharply_

RORY: So that's what I am huh? A last resort? Some sort of consolation prize?

JESS: Rory, I didn't mean it like that...

RORY: _(interrupting) _No, that's exactly how you meant it. You wouldn't be here talking to me, apologizing to me, trying to make things right with me, if you had anywhere else to go. You don't care about me, or about how much you hurt me, or how badly you treated me. You just want to use me until something better comes along. Well I'm sorry Jess.

_Rory she starts getting her things together_

RORY: I'm sorry if I've given you the impression that I'm some sort of lap dog that'll jump whenever you ask me to. And maybe, maybe that how I was with you, but that's not who I am. I am a strong, capable, intelligent person and I don't need to be made to feel otherwise; especially by someone who is supposed to care about me. I don't deserve to be treated the way that I have been by you. (_slight pause, but doesn't loose steam)_ I'm sorry that you screwed up. I'm sorry that you didn't realize what you had when you had it. But that is not my problem Jess. You, are not my problem, anymore.

_Rory exits the coffee shop leaving Jess standing there, deflated. He turns to walk out, when he notices Rory's keys on the table. He silently debates with himself for a second, then relents and takes the keys and goes after her._

EXT. STREET

_Jess exits and looks around, then sees her a couple of feet away trying to hide behind a lamp post. He walks up to her and hold out the keys._

RORY: Yeah, I uh, I was gonna wait 'till you left.

_Jess nods, then looks behind her_

JESS: Nice car.

RORY: It was a gift.

JESS: Nice gift.

RORY: ...from my grandparents.

JESS: Nice grandparents.

RORY: They're also paying for college. They said I could pay them back whenever I wanted.

JESS: That's good.

**::beat::**

JESS: I mean that, really. I'm glad that things are... I'm glad that you're good.

_Rory nods. They look at each other for a bit. Rory gestures to the car._

RORY: Well I should...

JESS: Right.

_Neither of them move_

RORY: So, um... I guess...

JESS: Yeah

_Rory goes over to the drivers side. She goes to open the door when they both realize that Jess still has her keys_

JESS: Oh, here.

_He hands the keys to her over the car._

RORY: Thanks.

_She puts the keys in the door and opens it, then looks up in frustration_

RORY: You know, I have nothing more to say to you. I've said everything that I wanted to say. And yet, I'm standing here racking my brain, desperately trying to find something to say to prolong this. Something to give me a reason to keep standing here with you, why is that?! After everything..._(she laughs bitterly)_ You know, I rehearsed this so many times in my head. And all I wanted, all I wanted, was to be the one to walk away. I promised myself that I would walk away from you this time. So tell me, why, now that I finally get the chance, now that the time is finally here...why can't I walk away? You did it...twice. So why, when I am perfectly justified, why can't I walk away?

**::silence::**

JESS: You don't need a reason. I mean...

RORY: _(forceful) _I know what you mean, and yes I do need a reason. I am not going to be one of those girls that lets herself get used and mistreated. I am not going to be one of those girls who forgives and takes someone back just because she still cares about them. Just because she wants to, regardless of whether or not they deserve it. _(pauses and looks away)_ If I ask you to get into the car and I take you to my dorm. _(looks back at him)_ If I let you back into my life, I am sure as hell going to need a reason!

**::silence::**

JESS: I'm not asking you to forgive me and I'm not asking you to take me back. I'm just asking for your help.

_They make eye contact briefly, but Jess looks away. he can't take the intensity or the honesty_

RORY: You have no right to ask me for anything.

JESS: I know.

_They stand there for a while longer. Jess looks down and swallows. Rory hasn't moved, she's just standing there. Jess closes his eyes briefly and starts to turn to walk away. _

RORY: _(softly) _Get in the car.

_Jess looks up with questioning eyes. Starts to open his mouth as if to say 'what'_

RORY: _(looking him in the eyes)_ Get in the car Jess.

_As she ducks inside the car, she presses a button unlocking the doors. Jess is still standing there. She opens the passenger side window and leans over_

RORY: _(impatient) _Well..?

_Jess opens the door, sits down, and shuts the door. He turns to Rory_

JESS: Rory...

RORY: Don't..say..anything.

_He shuts his mouth. Rory starts the car. She looks over at Jess _

_**song: Evan Dando-Hard Drive (chorus)**_

RORY: Seatbelt?

JESS: Oh right

_He buckles the seatbelt and she drives_

FADE TO:

EXT. TOWN SQUARE

_Lorelai sitting beneath the while flag half mast._


	4. Dirty Deeds

**For my pal Nate :)**

****

**Chapter 4: Dirty Deeds**

INT. YALE DORM - BEDROOM

_Paris is asleep. A tape player sounds with a smooth voice: "You are an intelligent, strong, competent woman. You are master of your domain. You have the world at your fingertips. You can conquer all things." Paris's lips almost move to the words of the woman on the tape as she sleeps. Her alarm goes off. She wakes and mouths in sync with the tape "I can conquer all things." She stretches and gets out of bed._

::OPENING CREDITS::

INT. YALE DORM

_Later. Paris exits her room. Her dorm mate is at the table eating cereal._

DORM MATE: (_through a mouthful of cereal_) 'Morning, Paris.

PARIS: Good morning, Remus.

DORM MATE: Remus?

PARIS: The kid raised by wolves who didn't become the first king of Rome.

DORM MATE: (_gulping down the food_) Sorry.

PARIS: So what's the agenda for today?

DORM MATE: Well, today's garbage day and Joanna is up on the rotation but today's an away game and so she's not going to be here tonight.

PARIS: I thought she dumped the quarterback.

DORM MATE: Affirmative. But now she's with the full back.

PARIS: Well, I'm booked today. Looks like you'll have to do it this week, Trace.

TRACY: Um, the thing is that I did the garbage last week and Joanna already owes me a day because I covered her when she was still with the quarterback, so in the interest of fairness...

PARIS: Tracy, Tracy, Tracy. You still think life is fair? While I'll admit that's cute in an infantile way, this is college. Wake up. Life isn't fair. That's why girls who slut around with the whole football team aren't branded with letters and get to escape garbage duties. That's why twelve year olds are sitting in college classrooms where they don't belong stealing first honors from the hardworking normal people who do belong. Life isn't fair. That's why there always has to be someone to clean up its mess and set things right. I've already started the battle, but I can't take them all on. I can't be expected to worry about putting Lavinia Boyd back in her place and the recyclables in their place, too. But you Tracy, you, like me, are a victim of life's unfairness. Take arms, my friend. Take out the trash.

TRACY: (_dazed_) It's morning. All I wanted to do was eat my cereal before class while my brain is still sleeping. And now you come with your Cicero speeches and. I can't take those so early in the morning. My brain isn't armed against them.

PARIS: Life's not fair.

TRACY: I guess not.

_Tracy takes her bowl back into her room. Paris smirks in victory._

PARIS: (to herself) I can conquer all things. Yes, Lavinia Boyd. Even you.

INT. CLASSROOM

_The professor lectures._

PROFESSOR: I was pleased to see this weekend that many of you in your papers were aptly able to discuss the existential concerns of the text with some of the new Hegelian critics we've looked at like Butler. One of you was particularly perceptive in noticing the text was also deeply involving Lacan. Miss Boyd, would you care to share with the class some of your observations?

LAVINIA: Well Professor, I was just noticing that mirrors appear often in the text and in many ways the characters are set up as mirror images, and it reminded me of Lacan's rewriting of Freud's identification theory with the mirror stage, and how that works with the Hegelian dialectic.

PROFESSOR: We will be discussing Lacan and Hegel in further detail next class. Good work, everyone, and thank you, Miss Boyd.

_The class begins to empty out. Paris catches up with Lavinia._

PARIS: Very nice work, Boyd. How on earth did it occur to you look at what's next in the syllabus to find out where the professor was going with the class?

LAVINIA: You again. Do you have a problem with me?

PARIS: So you really _are_ perceptive. Well good for you. I just thought I'd give fair warning to let you know that the war has been declared, the battle lines have been drawn, and you, sister, are going down.

LAVINIA: What?

PARIS: And another thing. The innocent act—I know that all too well. You think you're the first Polly Pocket Princess I've taken down? I know all your strategies. I have counteroffensives for all of them. You can't surprise me. You can fool the Admissions Board, but you can't fool me.

LAVINIA: I'm sorry. I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about, but I have a class to get to and I'm sure you have a doctor to get to. It was nice talking to you, though. See you around.

_Lavinia leaves_

INT. CAFETERIA

_Rory sits with a book in front of her, staring out the window. Paris comes to her table_

PARIS: I never took you for a daydream believer. I thought your part was the Homecoming queen.

RORY: Huh? Oh. Hi, Paris.

PARIS: No time for small talk. I'm planning my battle strategy. This is going to be a huge operation. I need all the help I can get.

RORY: What are we talking about?

PARIS: Lavinia Boyd.

RORY: Who?

PARIS: Brainy Jon Benet. Get a memo.

RORY: You're still on that?

PARIS: It's getting worse. Even the professor is kissing her ass.

RORY: And your ass is jealous?

PARIS: Let's get real.

RORY: Some medication might help you with that.

PARIS: The only thing I'm figuring is that this operation is going to require extensive funding.

RORY: Yes, Bush is pretty lucky to have the American taxpayers funding his revenge attacks.

PARIS: Tell me about it. I guess daddy will have to do.

RORY: Wow, it really is a different world.

PARIS: How many radios do you think you'll need?

RORY: What?

PARIS: Radio communicators. I'm going to need people on round the clock surveillance. Do you want one to keep at your mother's? Or you grandmother's?

RORY: This is a new level of crazy even for you.

PARIS: I'm paying for them.

RORY: No, your father is paying for them. I would keep telling you how ridiculous you're acting but I'd just be wasting my breath. And I need it right now because respiration is very important for me right now. My brain needs oxygen because it's thinking and it needs to think because it has a lot of things to think about and it really doesn't need to think about how crazy you are because it doesn't need any ideas and I don't need...this. I'll see you, Paris.

_Rory leaves_

PARIS: And they call _me_ crazy.

INT. DOOR ROOM

_Paris paces around the room with the phone in her hand. Tracy's head follows her back and forth._

TRACY: Why don't you just relax? I'm sure your father is just running a little late with it. Maybe he didn't have a chance to go to the bank yet. Or maybe he just forgot for a second.

PARIS: I'm sure he would forget but his secretary is the one who deposits the money. She doesn't forget. She's part Swedish, part cyborg. My father must be up to something. He's playing hardball. He wants something from me. I guess being a first-rate intellectual with the savvy to take any position of power I want to in a few years and boost the stock of the family name isn't enough for him. What could he want?

TRACY: I'm sure you're making this into more of a big deal than it really is.

_The phone rings. Paris picks up immediately_

PARIS: (_fake, sweetly_) Daddy?

JAMIE: Ooh, I like it when you call me daddy, though I admit, this is the first time.

PARIS: (_deflated_) Oh, you again. What is it?

JAMIE: Are you okay?

PARIS: I'm expecting a very important phone call.

JAMIE: The same call you were expecting an hour ago?

PARIS: Yeah. So what?

JAMIE: Maybe he's not going to call.

PARIS: While I admit that would not be unusual for my family, I'm pretty sure he's going to call. He's up to something. He's making me wait purposely and I really don't have time to get into the details with you because I need this line open. I'll call you later.

JAMIE: I might be expecting an important phone call later.

PARIS: Suit yourself. (_she hangs up._) Men can be so needy. It's amazing that the myth of female dependency lasted so long.

TRACY: Says the girl who's waiting for her dad to call and send her money.

_The phone rings again_

PARIS: Jamie, if you call me one more time...

FATHER: Paris, it's your father.

PARIS: Oh. Hello, dad.

FATHER: Hello, Paris. How is school?

PARIS: Good. Very good. Excellent in fact. Top of the class as always.

FATHER: Well, not always, but that's a technicality. I'm glad to hear you're doing well. I got your message.

PARIS: Oh that's right. Well, the situation is this. I was going to the cash machine to get some money out to buy some books and my balance wasn't where it should be. Florence must have forgotten the deposit this week.

FATHER: Florence never forgets anything.

PARIS: I was being polite.

FATHER: It's not a Gellar trait, is it?

PARIS: No, it's not.

FATHER: Well, Paris, I'm the one who forgot. I forgot to tell you that I will not be giving you an allowance anymore.

PARIS: Dad, my time is precious. Let's cut to the chase. What do you want?

FATHER: I want you to be happy.

PARIS: Humor is not a Gellar trait either.

FATHER: I'm serious, Paris. I went to see Dr. Schwartz and he made me realize that I'm not happy with my life. Do you want to know why?

PARIS: Do you want me to answer that?

FATHER: It's because it's not my life. It's my father's. I've spent my whole life living my father's life. I went to his school, used his money, took over his company. I don't want the same thing to happen to you. As much as I don't applaud the circumstances under which it happened, I'm glad you went to a different school. You have a chance to be different, to be your own person. You need to go out into the world, make your own choices, your own dreams...

PARIS: My own money.

FATHER: Yes. Dr. Schwartz thinks that it would be liberating for me as well if I set you free, so to speak.

PARIS: Who is this crackpot? What are his credentials? Don't tell me he got his PH.D. at Columbia Pacific also.

FATHER: Paris, he's right. I was going through a midlife crisis. I was feeling old and miserable. And the truth is, I am getting old. I'm not always going to be around. I want to know that you are going to be happy, that you are going to be able to live your life, your own life, and make the most of it, do what I didn't.

PARIS: Why can't you have a midlife crisis like a normal person? Get a leather jacket, dye your hair, screw a couple of young, dumb blondes.

FATHER: This is different for you. I'm not normally like this and this is a whole new situation. You're feeling the world open up in front of you and it scares you so you're lashing out.

PARIS: Don't give me your Maharishi Mahesh Yogi talk. I'm lashing out because you're stealing my property. I worked damned hard for that money. You think it's easy putting up with this family. I'm the one who keeps the household working. You think you'd still have that money if I wasn't constantly on top of your accountants, your brokers, even Florence, mind you. Didn't I coach you and mom both on discretion? What the neighbors wouldn't have been saying? I deserve that money. That's my reward for making the Gellar family work. You want to grow a mop top and sing "Love is All You Need" go ahead. You can even vote for Nader next election for all I care, but I want a deposit in my account by tomorrow or so help me, I will divorce this family and sue you for all you're worth. Hal answers to me.

FATHER: Hal's not our lawyer anymore. Dr. Schwartz' son is a lawyer. We went with him. Paris, I understand that you're upset, but trust me that I'm only doing what's best for you.

PARIS: You mean what's best for Dr. Schwartz.

Father; You should be grateful to Dr. Schwartz. He made me realize that I should not be disappointed about your not getting into Harvard but happy. It wasn't anything your mother or I did. It was your mistake, proof that you are living your own life. And now I'm making it official.

PARIS: And how exactly am I supposed to live with my very own new life without money?

FATHER: Well, I suppose you'd have to get a job. An exciting endeavor. Good luck. I have to go now, Paris. I'm expecting an important phone call.

PARIS: From Dr. Schwartz? Tell him I'll see him in court. Or in hell. Whichever comes first.

FATHER: Have a great day in school.

_Paris hangs up _**song: Victim of Reality by Pennywise**

TRACY: Welcome to female independence.

_Paris shoots her an evil look. Tracy cowers behind a book. _

CUT TO:

_Some days later. Rory is leaving her room. Paris approaches. Rory closes the door very quickly._

RORY: Paris! I mean, Paris. What brings you to these parts?

PARIS: (_handing Rory an envelope_) Here.

RORY: What's this?

PARIS: Open it.

RORY: It's addressed to you.

PARIS: I know. I can't open it. Would you please open it for me and tell me what is says for Christ's sake?

RORY: Okay.

_Rory opens envelope, starts to read,_

RORY: Regret to inform you...

_Paris snatches the paper_

PARIS: You've got to be kidding me.

RORY: What was that about?

PARIS: A paid internship at the Portuguese Consulate. I can't believe this. So much rejection in a few days. I can't process this. I'm not used to this.

RORY: You'll find something. In the meantime, if you need anything, lunch money, whatever, don't hesitate to ask.

PARIS: I'm not a pauper you know. Last thing I need is charity from Rory Gilmore. I still have a grand in my account.

RORY: Then what are you so worried about? That should cover your expenses.

PARIS: These are not the Reagan 80s, Rory. Litigation fees are sky high.

RORY: Litigation fees?

PARIS: You didn't think I was going to take this sudden destitution without a fight?

RORY: You're suing your father?

PARIS: No. His shrink.

RORY: Nope. That's still crazy.

PARIS: I don't need any assessments on my mental health. Too many crackerjacks are going around telling other people what's wrong with them.

RORY: Paris, you have to be real here. Getting a job is not the worst thing in the world. It would in fact look very impressive on a graduate school application to show that you were competent enough to work and go to school full time and take on that kind of responsibility.

PARIS: True.

RORY: And if you drop the litigation fees, you don't need that much money, and you could probably take on a simple job on campus that wouldn't be so demanding on your academic schedule.

PARIS: It's not just litigation fees. I still have Lavinia Boyd to worry about.

RORY: I really thought I had brought you to the threshold of sanity.

PARIS: Well, think again. Wait a minute...

RORY: Okay, Lavinia Boyd. You need money to fund your little war with her. Use that as motivation, then. You need a job now. So maybe you should consider aiming a little...not lower, but more practically. A job at the library, at a tutoring center, the cafeteria even.

PARIS: I will never be so desperate as to resort to menial labor. I guess I could tutor, though.

RORY: So there you go.

INT. LEARNING CENTER

_Paris is talking with a gentleman_

PARIS: Thank you, Mr. Johnson, for hiring me.

MR. JOHNSON: Well, I have to tell you, you're a little overqualified. You list here specialties in calculus, physics, research writing. Most of our clients are just kids who need help with fractions, long division, spelling and grammar. What I'll do is try to give you the oldest of the bunch. How's your algebra and geometry?

PARIS: Exceptional, sir.

MR. JOHNSON: Well that's great. I'll introduce you to your pupil for today. (_calling to a young boy_) Alex, come here.

_Alex comes over _

MR. JOHNSON: Alex, this is Paris. She'll be helping you today.

ALEX: I ain't never seen her before.

PARIS: Haven't ever.

ALEX: What?

PARIS: You haven't ever seen me here before.

ALEX: I know. I just said that.

MR. JOHNSON: Paris is new, Alex. Go easy on her.

ALEX: Okay. (_walks to a table muttering to himself_) My mom brings me here to learn something and I gotta get the dumb new kid.

_Paris stands transfixed. Alex looks back at her _

ALEX: Well come on.

_Later. Paris looks exasperated. Her hair is tussled and her face is in her hands. She slowly creeps up from behind her hands._

PARIS: Ashley, how do you find the perimeter of a quadrilateral?

ASHLEY: You add up all the sides.

PARIS: Right. So if Charlie wants to walk around the square, he has to walk the perimeter of the square. You know what how to find perimeter. Why can't you figure out the perimeter of this square?

ASHLEY: I only know the length of one side.

PARIS: (_yelling_) It's a square, for Christ's sake! All the sides are the same! (_all eyes are on Paris' table_). So you see, you use an exclamation point when you want to show a person is yelling. Like I did now.

ALEX: Nice cover.

PARIS: Did you finish your problem yet, Alex?

ALEX: I think so, but can I ask a question?

PARIS: Is it a stupid question?

ALEX: There's no such thing as a stupid question.

PARIS: What's your question, Alex?

ALEX: Who's Pythagorean?

PARIS: Congratulations, Alex. You just invented the stupid question.

ASHLEY: If all the sides are the same, why does the guy want to go around the square? You've seen one side, you've seen them all.

PARIS: (_dropping her head on the table_) I don't know, Ashley. Maybe he's an idiot. By any chance, are you two related?

ASHLEY: Could be. My uncle's name is Charlie but I don't think he ever wanted to go around a square. He pretty much stays home watching tv.

ALEX: I have another question, Paris.

_Paris looks up, weary beyond all years _**song: Victim of Reality cont...**

PARIS: What?

ALEX: See, I know you can only use the Pythagorean Theorem on a right triangle, but how do you know what's a wrong triangle?

_Paris gets up and walks away._

INT. DORM ROOM

_Later. Paris walks in_

TRACY: How did it go?

_Paris grunts_

TRACY: Not too well, I take it.

PARIS: I can't go back there.

TRACY: Sure you can, Paris. Just remember that nothing is as bad as it seems at first.

PARIS: No. I really can't go back there. I have three restraining orders against me.

TRACY: Maybe working with children is not your strong suit.

PARIS: Ya' think.

TRACY: Well, I have good news for you. The public library is in need of help. I picked you up an application.

PARIS: (_deflated_) Thanks. Right now, I just want to take a shower and sit down for a quiet evening with the newspaper.

TRACY: Um, actually, I have this great book you might want to read instead.

PARIS: Whatever you've read, I've probably read it.

TRACY: Just don't read the newspaper.

PARIS: Why not?

TRACY: All that political propaganda. It's contaminating.

_Tracy takes the newspaper on the couch and folds it in her arms._

PARIS: Right.

_Paris takes another newspaper from the table. _

PARIS: (_Reads) "Child Genius Raises the Bar on Education." You've got to be kidding me. Who wrote this? How could Doyle allow this and not tell me about it?!_

TRACY: It's not even a very good article. But did you know she speaks eight languages and plays four instruments?

PARIS: Give me that library application!

_Paris snatches it from Tracy's hand and goes into her room_

INT. PUBLIC LIBRARY

_New day. Paris is seated at an information counter. A bunch of young kids is gathered at a table, talking. Paris looks to them._

PARIS: Excuse me, but can you please note the sign.

_Paris points to a sign that reads, "No talking. Please whisper." The young people start whispering but soon their voices escalate. Paris shushes them. Again they whisper and again their voices escalate. Paris gets up threateningly when an elderly gentleman walks over._

MAN: Excuse me, but I was wondering if you could help me find a book. I don't know the title or the author.

PARIS: (_recovers to professional congeniality_) That shouldn't be a problem. What is the book about?

MAN: It's about a whale. And a crazy captain. It's supposed to be a classic.

PARIS: Moby Dick?

MAN: No, I don't think so. A white whale. Crazy captain.

PARIS: I'm pretty sure it's Moby Dick.

MAN: I'm pretty sure it isn't. Moby Dick sounds like a children's book.

PARIS: It's not. It's one of the best American novels of the 18th century, 100 times the size of Green Eggs and Ham.

MAN: All the same, I'm pretty sure it's not Moby Dick.

PARIS: Would you like to at least look at the book?

MAN: I guess I could take a look at it.

Paris takes him to the shelf and hands him a copy of Moby Dick.

MAN: See, this isn't it. I remember the cover.

PARIS: Different editions have different covers.

MAN: I'm telling you this wasn't it.

PARIS: Was it nonfiction?

MAN: No. It was a novel. A classic novel about a white whale. How many could there be?

PARIS: One and you're looking at it.

MAN: This is not the book I'm talking about.

PARIS: (_testy and slightly loud_) Well the book you're talking about, sir, does not exist.

MAN: How could you say it doesn't exist when I'm telling you I saw it.

PARIS: (_scathing_) I don't know. Did you take your medication this morning, grandpa?

MAN: That's what I'll do. I'm calling my grandson. He'll know which book I'm talking about. He's the one that said I should read it.

_The old man pulls out a cell phone._

PARIS: I'm sorry, sir, but you can't use cell phones in here.

MAN: I see. You just don't want to be proven wrong. That's fine. I hear the library in the next town has a smart girl running the info counter.

PARIS: Call the kid!

MAN: Thank you. (_he dials_) Hello, Louise. How's my little girl. How's school...Did you really? Well that's great...I don't believe it...That's wonderful sweetheart...

PARIS: Speed it up, grandpa.

MAN: Okay Louise, that's very nice. I want to hear all about it when I see you. Is your brother there? Could you put him on?...Hello, Max, how are you? How's school?...Did you really? That's wonderful...

PARIS: While one of us is still alive...

MAN: Uh, listen Max, you remember that book you had asked me to read last week? You were talking about it all throughout dinner. What was the name of the book?...That's it. Thank you. I'm at the library right now. I'm going to get it and we'll be able to talk about it better next time...Okay. Say hello to your mother for me...Bye. (_hangs up_)

PARIS: (_smiling_) Here you go sir.

_Paris hands him back Moby Dick_

PARIS: The check out counter is right over there.

MAN: This is not it.

PARIS: What?

MAN: It's The Sea Wolf.

PARIS: What? No, I'm sorry. Your grandson is wrong.

MAN: How could my grandson be wrong?

PARIS: Oh my God. Don't tell me your grandson is the first infallible five-year-old to walk the face of the earth.

MAN: Five-year-old? My grandson is nineteen years old and he goes to Harvard!

PARIS: (_loudly_) I don't care if he's twelve years old and goes to Oxford. He's wrong. There's not even a whale in The Sea Wolf!

_The young kids at the table shush Paris and point to the sign. She glares at them evilly._

MAN: I may have been mistaken about the whale.

PARIS: _May _have been.

MAN: Well, I don't know for sure. I have to read the book. Do you have it?

PARIS: Either you take Moby Dick out with it or you don't take anything out.

MAN: This is ridiculous! I'm going to the other library.

PARIS: Good! They shouldn't even let idiots into libraries.

MAN: And they certainly shouldn't employ them!

_The man storms off. The young people at the table are silent looking at Paris_

**song: Victim of Reality cont...**

PARIS: Shut up!

INT. DORN ROOM

_Later. Paris enters her dorm. She practically fights her coat off her shoulders and throws it angrily onto a chair._

TRACY: Don't tell me you lost the job.

PARIS: That's fine because I'm not speaking to you at all.

TRACY: Aw man. You like books. I thought the public library would be so good for you.

PARIS: The library wasn't bad at all. It was the public part that killed me.

TRACY: Paris, you're going to have to develop some people skills if you want to get anywhere in the world. And I know the perfect place to do it. I saw a sign on Goldie's Diner. They need a waitress.

PARIS: No! I will never stoop down to menial bonehead labor.

TRACY: Hey, there's nothing bonehead about making a buck. And it would be a good learning experience for you.

PARIS: No, no, absolutely no! Listen, I don't want to hear any more talk about jobs. Did anyone call me?

TRACY: Yes. Let's see. (_she grabs some papers_). Jamie called you. Jamie called you again. Then this guy called you. His name was...oh, that's right. Jamie. And then this other guy called. He didn't give a name. He said he was your informer and he was ready to begin on the paper trail but he needed a deposit first. And finally, your nanny called, and Jamie called and said he would not be calling again.

PARIS: It took him long enough. So you said he wants a deposit?

TRACY: Jamie? No, I think he just wants a phone call.

PARIS: I'll call Jamie later. Don't you see all these pressures I have on me? I don't have time for Jamie.

TRACY: And she actually has a boyfriend and I don't.

PARIS: I'll tell you what else I have. I have pride and self-respect. I'll admit I need some money right now, but I am not going to degrade myself working at Goldie's diner. I, my friend, am a strong, intelligent competent woman. Things have hit a rough spot, but I can conquer this. I can conquer all things.

CUT TO:

INT. GOLDIE'S

_Paris is dressed in a pink collared dress with an apron, standing on roller skates at a table of customers._

PARIS: (_voice deflated_) Welcome to Goldie's. (_passes menus_) Would you like to hear today's specials? (_desperately_) Please, say no.

WOMAN: But they're not written on the menu. How else will we know what the specials are?

YOUNG MAN: Oh that's right. They have to sing the specials here. Yeah, let's hear the song.

PARIS: I'm afraid I have laryngitis.

YOUNG MAN: I'll get the manager

WOMAN: Oh John, leave the poor girl alone.

YOUNG MAN: Hey, it's her job. Sing the song.

PARIS: (_sighs_) Some places have burgers that are moldy /

But you'll never have that problem here at Goldie's.

And today is a Tuesday

So hear the good news, yay /

Three ninety-five

for a burger and French fries

But if you're still sad /

It comes with salad /

And for a sweet day

You'll get some parfait.

Yes we keep you alive

For only Three ninety-five

Here at Goldie's Diner and Café.

WOMAN: We'll have three of your specials. Thank you very much. That was a...an interesting performance.

_Paris rolls off and puts in the order. The manager comes over._

MANAGER: Paris, how's the first day going?

PARIS: (_through her teeth_) Just great.

MANAGER: Well that's good to hear. Listen, Paris, there have been a few complaints.

PARIS: Give me names, addresses, and phone numbers. I'll straighten them out.

MANAGER: See, we straighten things out a little differently here. Remember, Paris, the customer is always right. It's your first day so there were bound to be complaints. I'm just letting you know so you can work on them, you know.

PARIS: What were the complaints?

MANAGER: Okay. First, the song. We're not Star Search here, but you could put a little more pep into the song. We use it to help the newbies practice on their people skills. And speaking of people skills...

PARIS: Jesus.

MANAGER: The thing is, Paris, that when a customer says the meat is undercooked or the soup is salty, you don't say, "that's not my problem. Tell that to the cook." You take the undesired food away and tell the cook to fix it.

PARIS: Understood.

MANAGER: Great. One more thing. When the customer complains that the table is dirty, you don't point them to the napkins. When they ask for the ketchup, you don't tell them it's on the counter. Your job is to serve them. Customers should not be mopping their own messes.

PARIS: That's where I think this industry has it all wrong...

MANAGER: But um, until you're the manager, Paris, what you think about the "industry" doesn't really matter. You're a waitress. Aw, now don't take this too hard. It's your first day. Put a smile on. Remember the motto. "We don't just serve with a smile, we serve for a smile."

PARIS: Yeah, yeah. All right.

MANAGER: You're doing great. Oh, and just so you know, you have bathroom duty today. Actually, I shouldn't say bathroom duty. We don't like to call it that because it sounds like bathroom doodie. (_laughs briefly_) We call it _rest_room service. Get it?

PARIS: Yeah. Ha ha. Very funny. I should get back to work.

MANAGER: That's what I like about you, Paris. No nonsense. Get back to work.

_Paris rolls off a little ways, and looks back as the manager ducks into the office. She kicks the counter, loses balance, and falls. _**song: Victim of Reality cont...**

INT. DORM ROOM

_Paris rolls into the dorm room. Tracy looks at her and laughs._

PARIS: You did this to me. I'm going to kill you!

_Paris charges into Tracy, but Tracy steps aside and Paris rolls into one of the rooms, Joanna's._

JOANNA: (O.S.) Paris! What are you doing? Get out of here.

_Paris rolls out of the room, apparently pushed, and rolls right to the sofa where she collapses._

GUY VOICE: (O.S.) I knew I heard roller skates. I thought my mom was here.

PARIS: (_calling out_) That better not be vibrating pillow you're using in there.

GUY VOICE: She even sounds like my mother.

_The door shuts_

TRACY: Well I imagine if you still have the roller skates, you still have the job. You do know you can take them off, though, right?

PARIS: And as soon as I do I am going to kill you.

TRACY: It couldn't have been that bad.

PARIS: No. Not that bad. Worse.

TRACY: What happened to your shoes?

PARIS: I wish I knew.

_The phone rings_

PARIS: If that's Jamie, I'm not here.

TRACY: (_deadpan_) Oh, let me get that. (_picks up_) Hello?...Oh hi, Jamie. Yeah, Paris is right here. Hold on. (_hands Paris the phone._) Talk to him.

_Paris snatches the phone_

_PARIS: Hello, Jamie. Listen, I'm sorry to brush you off but I had a really bad day and I really don't feel like talking right now. I'm sorry. I'll call you tomorrow. Bye._

_She hangs up _

PARIS: I should go see Rory. She hasn't returned any of my calls.

TRACY: Can I ask you a personal question?

PARIS: Consult section five paragraph thirteen of the dorm mate code of conduct.

TRACY: I know, no personal questions to one Paris Gellar under any circumstances. But I'm not talking to you as a dorm mate.

PARIS: We're not friends, Tracy. The only reason you put any interest into my life...

TRACY: Is because nothing's going on in mine. I know. Which is why I would like to speak to you as an objective, disinterested spectator.

PARIS: All right, Tracy. Go ahead.

TRACY: What is your problem with Jamie?

PARIS: I don't have a problem with Jamie. I just don't have time for him right now.

TRACY: You have time for studies, you have time for extracurriculars, you have time to wage war against Lavinia Boyd, you have time to talk to Rory, you have time to talk to me...

PARIS: And after all of that, you think I have time left?

TRACY: My point is, you would think your boyfriend would rank higher on your priority list. You just blew Jamie off saying you didn't want to talk but you're ready to go over to Rory's room after you've been trying to call her all week.

PARIS: What are you trying to say?

TRACY: I'm not saying anything. I'm asking.

PARIS: Asking what? If I have feelings for Rory?

TRACY: Huh. I wasn't thinking that, but it does fit into the plot line.

PARIS: Well wake up, Jack. This is not _Will & Grace_. I need to speak to Rory for professional purposes. She's helping me with the Boyd offensive. She just doesn't know it yet.

TRACY: That still doesn't explain why you've been treating Jamie the way you have.

PARIS: Because I'm not going to practically throw my life away for Jamie, again. I wasn't supposed to be here. I was supposed to be in Harvard. I was supposed to give the valedictory address at Chilton and go to Harvard. Do you think any of this would have happened if I had been in Harvard? Do you think my father would be cutting off my allowance and talking about me finding my own way and making my own mistakes if I had gotten into Harvard? No! And do you know why I did not get into Harvard? Because I got sidetracked. I'm not blaming Jamie. It was my own fault for letting him distract me, but I'm not going to let that happen again. I'm the best. I'm supposed to be the best. Not second best. _The _best. I won't settle. I got sidetracked once and I lost my place and ended up having to settle for my second choice school, but I'm not going to just sit in my second-choice school and be second best. I'm going to be number one, with Jamie or without him.

TRACY: Wow. You're so much more messed up than I took you for.

**song: In-Out by Remy Zero**

_Paris ignores her and stands up with new energy, and skates off to her room. _

_CUT TO:_

_Later that night. Paris is on the phone._

PARIS: You continued the article in my corner.

DOYLE: What do you mean your corner?

PARIS: Since I've started on the paper, my article has always appeared on the right corner of the third page. You would think that if you were going to use my corner for another article you would at least tell me about it, give me the option of writing the article.

DOYLE: I didn't know you knew who Lavinia Boyd was.

PARIS: So I investigate.

DOYLE: It didn't seem the kind of thing you'd like to do. You're not really a human interest writer. I guess because you have little interest in human beings.

PARIS: Not you, too...

DOYLE: Hey, don't take it the wrong way. That's what makes your writing great. It's hard-hitting, fierce, and scrupulously grammatical. But I like to see people reading my newspapers. I need stories people are going to read. Do you know what people like to read? They like to read about scandals, crimes, celebrities, and anomalies like twelve year old geniuses. You turn me in a story like that that people are going to want to read and you get your corner back.

PARIS: Fine.

DOYLE: Great. See you next week.

INT. GOLDIE'S DINER

_Next day. Goldie's Diner. Paris is clearing up a table, and picks up a 10 cent tip in pennies. She skates over to another table. A group of Yale students are there, among them Lavinia Boyd. Paris stops in her tracks. She buries her head, pulls off her name tag, and goes over to the table._

PARIS: (_in a masking deep voice_) What can I get you?

GIRL #1: Do you have any specials?

PARIS: No.

GIRL #2: But it says here to ask about your specials?

PARIS: You did. I said we don't have any. Moving on.

LAVINIA: I know you. You go to our school. You stopped me in the hallway the other day. Paris, right?

PARIS: No. That's my twin sister. I'm Francis.

GIRL #3: (_giggling_) Paris and Francis.

PARIS: Can I take your order?

Girl # 1: I still don't know the specials.

_A young man walks over._

YOUNG MAN: Paris, did I hear these girls ask about the specials?

PARIS: It's none of your business Eric.

ERIC: Paris, when the manager is not on the floor I am the acting manager.

GIRL #2: I thought your name was Francis.

ERIC: Where is you name tag, Paris? You had better get your name tag on and start singing before I write you up.

GIRL #3: Singing?

PARIS: Don't bother. I quit.

ERIC: You have to speak to the manager to do that.

PARIS: Where is he?

ERIC: In his office in the back.

PARIS: Fine.

_Paris skates off to the back._

PARIS: (_calling out_) Mr. Gray, I need to speak to you.

_She starts to open the door,_

MR. GRAY: (O.S.) Just a second, Paris.

_Paris closes the door, startled. She has seen something. Mr. Gray comes out_

MR. GRAY: You needed to speak with me, Paris?

PARIS: Um, I forgot the words to the specials song.

MR. GRAY: They're on the board in the kitchen, Paris.

PARIS: That's right. Thank you.

_Paris walks away, still a little dazed. Soon a sinister look creeps over her brow. She pulls out her cell phone._

PARIS: Doyle, it's me, Paris. I've got a story for you, and are people going to read it. Call me back for the details.

_She looks out through the window of the kitchen door at Lavinia._

PARIS: I'm getting my place back. Just wait.

**song: In-Out cont...**

END OF EPISODE


	5. Chloroform Days

AN: Sorry for the delay. Hope you like it. Thanks so much for everyone who has taken the time to review. It means a lot. If you haven't reviewed, drop me a line. Let me know you're reading. It helps more then you can know.

Chapter 6 is gonna be a while. I'm sorry about that, but technical problems have hindered the process. It'll be up as soon as it can be. That I promise.

At the end of the chapter are the lyrics to the song I use at the end. I've always like it, and felt it was very fitting for what we're trying to do here.

Enjoy the chapter, and don't forget to press that little button when you're done, so I know that someone is reading, and that our writing isn't getting tossed into the void. 

Thanks.

Chapter 5: Chloroform Days 

"Its like East and West Berlin without the laughs"

INT. HARTFORD RESIDENCE

_Lorelai, Rory, Emily, and Richard are having dinner._

EMILY: Lorelai, you'll never guess who I saw the other day.

LORELAI: Never is a strong assumption.

EMILY: Christopher's mother.

LORELAI: But in this case, pretty accurate.

EMILY: You know, she never mentioned the wedding.

LORELAI: Maybe she doesn't know about it.

EMILY: She knows. She just had enough courtesy not to mention it to compensate for her lack of courtesy in not inviting us.

LORELAI: You wanted to go to Christopher's wedding?

EMILY: Of course not. But we should have been invited.

LORELAI: I thought you said it was rude not to attend a wedding when you're able to attend.

EMILY: Of course it is. But we were entitled to be rude.

LORELAI: Because you're French?

EMILY: Christopher's parents are as aware as we are that what he is doing is wrong. As our close friends and the parents of the man who stiffed our daughter, they were supposed to extend to us the invitation so that we could turn it down.

RICHARD: Your mother is correct. It is the right of the injured party to retaliate with polite rudeness, so to speak.

EMILY: As far as I'm concerned, their not inviting us is just adding insult to injury.

LORELAI: Maybe they did send you an invitation and the postman confused Emily Gilmore with Emily Post. I'll bet it happens a lot.

EMILY: I know that in Stars Hollow where they have spitting matches on street corners, you don't have to follow rules of social conduct and etiquette but the rest of the world believes in something called common courtesy.

LORELAI: (_to Rory_) It's been a while since we've tried one of those spitting matches. How's your saliva been lately?

RICHARD: Please, Lorelai. I'm eating.

EMILY: Joke all you want but Richard and I have a right to be insulted.

LORELAI: Because you didn't have a chance to exercise your right to insult them.

EMILY: Well I wouldn't put it quite like that...

RICHARD: But in layman's terms that sounds about right.

LORELAI: If it'll make you feel any better, Rory and I will have a spitting match by the cake.

EMILY: You mean you were invited?

LORELAI: (_under her breath to Rory_) I have a _big _mouth.

RORY: Yep. But that'll be good for the spitting match.

EMILY: You were invited and you're actually _going_?

LORELAI: Um, well, I was invited, and I wasn't going to go, but then...I changed my mind. Rory is going and she's not going to know anyone besides the groom so...

EMILY: Of all the insolence!

LORELAI: Rory's going too. You didn't say anything to her.

RORY: Hey!

EMILY: Rory is his daughter. She has to attend. But you. I can't understand why he would even want you there. It's so tactless and indecent.

LORELAI: Uh, thanks, mom.

EMILY: This wedding is a fiasco. I doubt Christopher's mother could be the one behind it. It must be the girl's parents running things. A couple of country bumpkins. No wonder we weren't invited.

RICHARD: It's just as well, then.

_The maid comes in_

MAID: Is everyone finished?

EMILY: Yes, Georgia.

_The maid begins to take the plates_

GEORGIA: (_to Lorelai and Rory_) Would you care for an apple liqueur?

LORELAI: Hmm. I don't know. Apple liqueur after orange soda. What would Emily Post say? _(looking at Emily_) Mom?

**::Opening Credits::  
**

EXT. HARTFORD RESIDENCE

_After dinner Rory and Lorelai are walking to their cars._

LORELAI: I don't know why I've been so worried about this wedding. If I can survive dinner here every Friday, I can survive one wedding.

RORY: That's the spirit.

LORELAI: So how have things been with you?

RORY: Um, okay.

LORELAI: Do you get the feeling that we haven't had a real substantive conversation in a while.

RORY: It's been a weird couple of weeks.

LORELAI: Tell me about it. But we should do something about this. How about you stay over here this weekend?

RORY: Sorry. I'm already spoken for. The library beat you to it.

LORELAI: All right. Then I can stay by you. I'll go with you to the library, help you study. Alright, well, not help. More like watch, but I won't be creepy about it.

RORY: Um, that's not a good idea because...um, yeah, my roommate is gonna be there. Full house.

LORELAI: Huh. Well, at least you'll have some company. That should be good, right?

RORY: Um, yeah. But like I said, I have a lot of work to do, so I probably won't be around much.

LORELAI: Are you sure you're okay?

RORY: Yeah. I'm just tired. (_gestures to the house_) Rough house tonight.

LORELAI: Just tonight?

RORY: Well, you know what I mean.

LORELAI: Yeah. Go get some sleep.

RORY: Yeah, thanks. Good night mom.

LORELAI: Good night, kiddo.

_Lorelai kisses Rory's forehead. They get into their cars and go their separate ways_

INT. INN 

_Lorelai and Sookie are walking around with the CONTRACTOR._

CONTRACTOR: So this whole wall is going to have to come down but we won't get to that right now.

LORELAI: Okay, but just tell me when so I can bring in my Pink Floyd.

CONTRACTOR: Yeah, we get that a lot.

_Kirk comes in_

KIRK: Sookie, may I have a word with you.

CONTRACTOR: All right, so I'll let you ladies do what you have to do. Gotta check up on the guys.

LORELAI: Thanks, Tom.

SOOKIE: (_goes over to Kirk_) What's wrong, Kirk?

KIRK: Could you please tell Lorelai that her hair stylist called and has to cancel her appointment? My guess is she needed the rake for the backyard this time.

SOOKIE: Uh, okay. You know Lorelai is right here.

KIRK: Yes, but I'm not speaking to her.

LORELAI: (_to Sookie_) Tell Kirk that that's the best news I've heard all day.

KIRK: (_to Sookie_) Tell Lorelai that she might want to make a new appointment very soon because her grays are starting to show.

LORELAI: (_to Sookie_) Tell Kirk I only wish there was someone his mother could have made an appointment with when his face started to show.

KIRK: (_to Sookie_) Tell Lorelai that I've been mistaken for a younger Tom Cruise.

LORELAI: Tell Kirk it must have been the nose.

KIRK: Tell Lorelai...

SOOKIE: Tell her yourself. I'm getting out of here!

_Sookie walks from out of the middle. Kirk looks maliciously at Lorelai who returns the malice, and leaves. Sookie returns to Lorelai's side._

SOOKIE: What was that all about?

LORELAI: I don't want to talk about it.

_Lorelai walks away_

INT. NEW HAVEN 

_Rory is walking to her room with a ton of books. She's trying to get her door. A guy comes from down the hall._

GUY: Hey, Rory.

RORY: Hey, Sid.

SID: What's with all these books? I thought you were finally stepping over to the dark side.

RORY: Huh?

SID: I heard you playing music in your room all day—might I say, Metallica, very impressed. I figured you cut class for the day.

RORY: Oh, um, yeah, you know. I just needed a break to, you know, veg, relax. But now, back to work.

SID: Hey, what was that you were playing after the Clash? I never heard it before but I really liked it.

RORY: Um...refresh my memory?

SID: One of the songs kept saying "If you think the world is..." something.

RORY: Oh, that's Young Marble Giants.

SID: I'll have to download their stuff.

RORY: They're very good. Well, I'll see you, Sid.

SID: Yeah. And listen, next time you decide to take a break and cut class, come over to Crissy's end of the floor. We've got pot.

RORY: Uh, thanks.

_Rory enters her room and looks around, angrily. CDs are scattered on the bed, but no one is there. Rory shrugs and hits the books on her desk. She tries to take notes but her mind wanders, and her head turns toward the door. She stays, chin in hand, looking at the door pensively. It startles her when she hears a knock. She gets up to open. Jess is at the door, pizza in hand._

JESS: You order a pizza?

_He pushes past Rory and steps inside. He nestles himself on the bed with the pie and starts attacking a slice. He feels Rory's critical eyes on him._

JESS: Oh, you want some?

RORY: So I guess you had a productive day today.

JESS: I admit finding half-way decent pizza around here was quite a challenge.

_Rory is still looking at him_

JESS: I take it that's not what you're talking about. So what is it? The coffee machine?

RORY: What did you do to the coffee maker?

JESS: Nothing really. The tube was just clogged. That's why the drip was taking so long. How did you get that clogged anyway?

RORY: You fixed the coffee maker?

JESS: So that's not what you're talking about either. If you have something to say then just say it.

RORY: (_mumbling_) Um, thanks.

_She sits back at her desk and returns to her books. Jess shakes his head in perplexity and turns on the tv, eating his pizza. From somewhere on the floor, the song **'Take another piece of my heart' **by Janis Joplin come in through the walls._

EXT. STARS HOLLOW 

_Lorelai and Sookie are walking around town._

SOOKIE: So I know you don't want to talk about it, but how long have the two of you been fighting?

LORELAI: Oh, I don't know. About 18 hours now.

SOOKIE: I bet you two just need some space. You're living together, always in each other's hair. Why don't you come over to my place today? We can have a girl's night in.

LORELAI: What about Jackson?

SOOKIE: We can give him a manicure.

LORELAI: Ooh, sounds like fun.

SOOKIE: (_happy_) This is going to be great! Oh, let's see. I need to make a new menu for dinner.

LORELAI: Oh you don't have to do that. You know I eat anything.

SOOKIE: But Jackson's on this new experiment. He's determined to come up with a diet regime so he can write a book about it and be the next Atkins or Agatson. I told him he would have to change his last name so that it stars with an A. Ajax-son. Hehe.

LORELAI: I never thought of Jackson as that kind of entrepreneur. So has he come up with anything?

SOOKIE: Yeah. His latest is the Horse Beach Diet. He only eats radishes, seaweed, and raw fish.

LORELAI: You know, I think Jackson might be on to something. I mean, have you ever seen a fat Jesus?

SOOKIE: You oughtta try his ruby red seaweed smoothie. It's not that bad. Not very smooth, though.

LORELAI: So you've actually been eating this stuff?

SOOKIE: Well, I'm trying to be supportive.

LORELAI: He doesn't need your support. He'll have the endorsement of the Christian right. And hey, that's really all you need.

SOOKIE: To be honest, I've been cheating. I sneak in a midnight snack on the sly. Cheese soufflé, diced steak in Szechwan sauce, jello salad.

LORELAI: So I'll come over around midnight.

SOOKIE: No, no, I'll make you a regular dinner.

LORELAI: But I don't want a regular dinner, I want a midnight snack.

SOOKIE: How does this sound? Lasagna with broccoli in butter sauce and peach cobbler.

LORELAI: Sounds like a midnight snack.

SOOKIE: Good. I think I might need eggs. Jackson was making a fish protein drink this morning.

LORELAI: Sookie, you know I love Jackson, but keep him away from me.

SOOKIE: So would you mind picking up the eggs while I pick up Jackson's dry cleaning?

LORELAI: No problem.

SOOKIE: Oh, and I need some nutmeg.

LORELAI: Sure thing.

SOOKIE: And butter.

LORELAI: Gotcha.

SOOKIE: I'll meet you in front of Luke's.

LORELAI: Okay. (_the two split ways_)

INT. DOOSE'S MARKET 

_Lorelai enters and picks up the items. She goes to the checkout counter. Kirk is at the register. She rolls her eyes and puts the items on the counter. Kirk picks up the eggs and swings the carton over his shoulder_

LORELAI: Hey!

KIRK: (_on a megaphone_) I need a price check at register one. Price check at register one.

LORELAI: They're the same price as always, Kirk.

KIRK: I'm sorry, ma'am. Did you say something?

_Lorelai sucks her teeth. A young man comes over._

KIRK: Steve, I need a price check on these eggs.

STEVE: Uh, let me see them.

_Kirk tosses the carton to Steve._

LORELAI: Hey! You're going to break my eggs.

STEVE: No worries, lady. My hands are soft. I lubricate.

LORELAI: Please leave my eggs alone. Wait, that didn't sound right now.

STEVE: (_to Kirk_) There's no price on them.

KIRK: I know. You're going to have to check the sign by the eggs.

STEVE: Okay. (_leaves with the eggs_)

LORELAI: This is ridiculous.

KIRK: I'm sorry for the inconvenience, ma'am. I'm sure you want to get home so you can cook something nice for a friend you've wronged.

LORELAI: Actually, I'm in no rush to go home because I have an obnoxious, immature roommate.

KIRK: I'll bet my roommate is worse than yours.

LORELAI: If your roommate is that bad, why don't you move out?

_Steve returns with the eggs._

STEVE: They're a dollar.

KIRK: No! Can't you read? That's only with a coupon. (_to Lorelai_) You don't have a coupon, do you, ma'am?

LORELAI: (_curtly_) No.

KIRK: Didn't think so. Your total is 5.17.

_Lorelai digs in her purse as Kirk throws the eggs in the bag and the nutmeg and butter on top of them._

LORELAI: No, see, I know you broke those eggs.

KIRK: I did not.

LORELAI: Yes you did.

KIRK: No I didn't.

LORELAI: Yes you did. Let me see!

KIRK: I can't give you your groceries, ma'am, until you've paid for them.

LORELAI: I'm not paying for broken eggs.

KIRK: They're not broken.

_Lorelai snatches the bag. Kirk holds onto it and they tug-of-war with it. Finally, Kirk lets go and Lorelai drops the bag. The egg yolk spills on the floor._

KIRK: You break it, you pay for it.

INT. NEW HAVEN 

_Rory enters her room. She hears scrambling noises in the bathroom._

RORY: (_she knocks_) Jess? (_noises continue_) Jess, are you in there?

_The door suddenly opens. A girl comes out._

GIRL: He's not here.

RORY: Marissa, what are you doing here?

MARISSA: I needed to pick up some stuff.

RORY: But you just have decoy stuff here.

MARISSA: I know. But I need it. I'm going to have to bring over new decoys.

RORY: Okay.

MARISSA: So who's your friend?

RORY: Who?

MARISSA: Jess?

RORY: How do you know Jess?

MARISSA: I don't. But you thought I was Jess and so I'm asking.

RORY: Oh, well, Jess isn't a friend. Jess is...my hamster. For a lab experiment. Oh, that's right. Where is he? (_whistling_) Where are you, Jess? Come out, come out, wherever you are.

MARISSA: Don't you usually keep hamsters in cages?

RORY: Yeah. Jess has a cage. Oh that's right. I turned Jess back in last week when we turned in the lab reports. I guess I must miss the little critter.

MARISSA: Okay. So who's the guy?

RORY: What guy?

MARISSA: The guy you're keeping here. I should give you some tips about that.

RORY: I'm not keeping a guy here.

MARISSA: There's a pair of boxers under my bed.

RORY: They're mine. I wear them to sleep. They're very comfortable, boxers.

MARISSA: There's a Mach 3 in the bathroom.

RORY: You'd be surprised to know I'm very hairy.

MARISSA: Look, do you want my advice or not?

RORY: Yeah, I guess so.

MARISSA: Well, you already know it's not allowed, so you have to be really careful. So first thing, keep the closet clean, but remember, it's always messy. That way, if someone shows up unexpectedly, you can always shove him in the closet, and if it's a friend who wants to go in your closet and borrow a sweater, the closet is insanely messy. You'll drop off the sweater in three minutes.

RORY: Ah.

MARISSA: (_gets a page_) I have to go. Another thing. Keep extra laundry bags. I'll explain later. Good luck.

RORY: Wait. How did you know I was keeping someone here? I mean, illegally, and not that it was just a friend visiting or a boyfri...well, you know.

MARISSA: I found his stuff in the closet when I was looking for my stuff. It looked like he was staying for more than a weekend, and he's definitely not a Yalie.

RORY: Good deductive skills. I guess I should have asked you before I kept someone over here.

MARISSA: It's okay. We're even now. You keep my secrets, I keep yours. I'm actually relieved you don't have one over on me anymore.

_She winks and opens the door to leave. Jess is there, about to come in._

MARISSA: Hey, Jess.

JESS: Hey.

_Marissa leaves._

JESS: (_to Rory_) Do I know her?

EXT. LUKE'S DINER 

_Lorelai walks in and stops short. There is a new addition to the orchestra of the general diner hum. Music._

(music): _Don't know much about history. Don't much biology..._

_Lorelai bobs her head to the music. Luke comes out with trays, also bobbing his head to the music. Lorelai takes a seat at the counter and waits for Luke to arrive._

LUKE: Hey. Coffee?

_Luke pours_

LORELAI: What's this?

LUKE: I think you two have met before. It's coffee.

LORELAI: I know. And I didn't have to ask for it, let alone plead. And what's with the music?

LUKE: You don't like music?

LORELAI: I love music. I just thought the salt and pepper shakers didn't like music because you never play it here.

LUKE: Yeah, I'm getting new salt and pepper shakers. I'm trying to decide between Sid and Nancy or Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.

LORELAI: How about the Everly Brothers?

LUKE: They haven't memorialized them into condiment decanters yet.

LORELAI: Ah. So really, what's with the music?

LUKE: This must be a really small town when playing some background music for the customers is such a big deal.

LORELAI: This must be a really big town if news that it's a small town just got to you.

LUKE: What?

LORELAI: It made sense in my head. Hey, the music is nice. I'm just not used to change at Luke's.

_Lane enters the diner._

LANE: So they weren't kidding!

LORELAI: Hey, Lane.

LANE: Lorelai, music! At Luke's!

LORELAI: I know.

LANE: (_to Luke_) Are you searching for DJs?

LUKE: No.

LANE: So you're just going to do radio? That's so prosaic.

LORELAI: That's Luke for you. Prosaic Luke.

LUKE: Any longer in this town and I'll be Prozac Luke. Anyway, it's not radio. It's just a tape but if I knew it were going to be such a big production I never would have tried it in the first place.

LORELAI: No. It's a good idea. It gives this place a homey feeling.

LUKE: The last thing this place needs is a homey feeling. I've got enough people who think this is their home away from home.

LORELAI: You're not, by any chance, referring to me, are you?

LUKE: I'm mostly referring to you.

LANE: The stool practically has your permanent butt imprint.

LORELAI: Thanks, Lane.

LANE: Well, I'm very happy about the music, Luke. And if you need any recommendations, mix tapes, professional opinion, just holler.

LUKE: Yeah, sure, Lane.

LANE: I'll be seeing you guys.

_Lane leaves as Nicole enters._

NICOLE: Hey, sweetheart. (_kisses Luke from across the counter_) Oh, hi Lorelai.

LORELAI: Hey, Nicole.

NICOLE: (_to Luke_) You're playing the tape! You like it?

LUKE: Yeah. I thought I'd play it down here, give the place some...well, you know.

NICOLE: Ambiance.

LUKE: Yeah, I guess.

LORELAI: Well, I better go before my butt fossilizes on this stool.

NICOLE: Nice to see you again, Lorelai.

LORELAI: Yeah, same here. Bye, you two.

(background music): _My shaving razor's cold and it stings_...

INT. NEW HAVEN: RORY'S DORM ROOM 

_Rory is jumping and pacing outside of the bathroom. She finally knocks on the door._

RORY: That's it! Get out of there this minute.

JESS: (_from inside_) Just give me a second.

RORY: No! Right now.

_The door opens. Jess exits with shaving cream on his face holding his razor blade._

JESS: Is there another mirror anywhere else?

_Rory goes in the bathroom and hands him a compact mirror. Jess stares at it as Rory closes the door. He shrugs and begins trying to shave himself in front of the compact mirror._

RORY: (_from inside_) Aahh!

JESS: (_cutting himself_) Ow!

_Rory exits the bathroom. Jess goes in._

RORY: No. Get out. We need to talk.

JESS: I'm bleeding here.

RORY: It's a scratch.

JESS: A bleeding scratch.

RORY: Get out here now.

JESS: It could get infected.

RORY: When did you become such a girl?

JESS: Since I started shaving with a compact.

RORY: If you're not out of that bathroom in three seconds...

JESS: (_stepping outside the bathroom_) I'm here. What is it?

RORY: Well. (_assuming a look of authority_) We need to set some rules here.

JESS: (_voice deflated_) Great.

RORY: That's right. See, because this is my place. My place, my rules.

JESS: Fine.

RORY: Okay. So rule # 1. Don't leave the toilet seat up.

JESS: What?

RORY: That's right. I was going to use the toilet just now and there's no seat. That's porcelain. Porcelain is cold. It's notoriously cold. Poets have used porcelain in their imagery for its coldness.

JESS: So put the seat down.

RORY: Did I put it up?

JESS: No.

RORY: Exactly.

JESS: Yeah, exactly.

RORY: What?

JESS: I don't need you to put the toilet seat up for me. Why should I put the toilet seat down for you?

RORY: My place, my rules, my toilet.

JESS: Fine. I'll put the toilet seat down.

RORY: Okay. So rule # 2. You are staying here, but you are not here. Understand that? You are not here. That's the motto you should operate under. If you're wondering whether or not you can do something, just think, would I be able to do this if I weren't here. Could I answer the phone if I weren't here? No. So don't answer the phone. Could I take out Rory's car if I weren't here? No. So no taking the car. Could I play Rory's radio if I weren't here? No. So no playing the radio. Could I answer the door if I weren't here? No. So don't answer the door.

JESS: Could I put down the toilet seat if I were not here? No.

RORY: Would the toilet seat be up if you were not here? No.

JESS: That says a lot about your social life.

RORY: My social life is none of your business.

JESS: I don't care about your social life.

RORY: You're the one speculating about it.

JESS: You're the one giving information about it.

RORY: Stop it! You see, you're doing it again.

JESS: Doing what?

RORY: Upsetting me. It all goes back to rule # 2. Could you upset me if you weren't here?

JESS: I don't know. Can I?

RORY: No! You can't. So you can't upset me while you're here because you're not here.

JESS: That's right. I'm not here. I'm leaving.

_Jess grabs a shirt, wipes the remaining shaving cream off his face with it, and puts it on._

RORY: What do you think you're doing?

JESS: I'm going out.

RORY: You can't go out. That's rule # 3. No going out during peak traffic hours.

JESS: You've got to be kidding me.

RORY: I'm serious. I'm putting my neck on the line keeping you here. If someone found out...I don't even want to finish that sentence.

JESS: (_sighs in frustration and exasperation_) No one is going to find out.

RORY: Good.

JESS: So what am I supposed to do when I'm here?

RORY: I don't know. But whatever you do, just remember, you're _not_ here.

_Rory goes back into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Jess gestures threateningly at the bathroom door with the razor._

INT. DINER 

_Paris meets a guy at the door. _

PARIS: table for one?

_The guy (SAM) ignores her and walks right past her. Paris about to yell something but catches a look from the manager and shuts up._

SAM: Hey man

_GUY 2 (GUS) looks up_

GUS: Sam. Hey, thank god you're here. I have a date with Sarah tonight and I have no idea where to..

_Sam slides into a booth and takes off his jacket. Showing a white tee shirt with the words "for sale or for rent. best offer."_

GUS: ....Why are you wearing that?

SAM: Well, a few factors really. The main one is that I didn't have clean clothes.

GUS: You know, you're not ever going to ever have any clean clothes if you don't...well, clean them.

SAM: Laundry is one of the battle grounds between good and evil and I refuse to participate.

GUS: And I'm asking you for dating advice?

_Sam shrugs._

SAM: (_enthusiastic and supportive_) So a date with Sarah, huh? Good for you!

::beat::

SAM: (_with the same enthusiasm_) Who's Sarah?

GUS: The blond in our civic's class.

_Sam gives a blank stare._

GUS: She gave this awesome presentation the other day.

_Still nothing from Sam._

GUS: (_relenting_) You throw paper at her when you're board.

SAM: Oh! Grumpy!

GUS: I can't believe you named my date after a dwarf.

SAM: Well she's always grumpy!

GUS: Cause you throw paper at her!

SAM: I'm just trying to cheer her up, 'cause...

SAM and GUS: (_together_) She's so grumpy.

GUS: I got it.

SAM: Well, good for you, getting a date with Grumpy!

GUS: Thank you. Oh, by the way, I told her that I don't know you.

SAM: Hey! How could you....no wait, thats fair.

_Paris comes up with a pad, not looking at the guys_

PARIS: So what can I get you?

SAM: (_peppy and grinning_) Name and phone number please.

PARIS: (_looking up sharply_) Ok, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you simply don't know how this works. I'm here to take your order, your _food_ order. Then I bring said food to you, take your money, you leave big tip, then just _leave._ I am _not_ here for you to stare at, drool over, or make passes at. This is a means to an end, and you are nothing but a _tiny, annoying obstacle_ in the way of my achieving the greater good. Now... if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go over here and proceed to ignore you for the next 10 to 15 minutes. Now you _could_ complain to the manager about me, but do you really want to spend the rest of your visit here pondering over just what it is in that secret sauce and what I had to do with it?

_Sam and Gus stare, jaws dropped._

PARIS: That's what I thought. I'll take your order when I'm ready. Maybe you should use this time to think about your behavior. (_Stalks off._)

GUS: I like her!

SAM: (_sulking_) Mean lady.

_Sam looks over at Paris who is telling off another customer, leaning over the table as she points exaggeratedly at the menu._

SAM: Mean lady with a nice tush.

INT. NEW HAVEN 

_Rory is sleeping at her desk. Jess is reading. He keeps looking up from his book at the clock and at Rory. He gives a slight shrug and returns to his book. Sleeping Rory moves her arm and knocks down some books with her elbow. The sound of falling books wakes her. She looks at the time._

RORY: Oh my God! My class started fifteen minutes ago. Why didn't you wake me up?

JESS: I thought about it but then I remember rule # 2 and I thought to myself, could I wake Rory up if I weren't here? Nope. So...

RORY: Oh just shut up! I have to go.

_Rory picks up her books quickly and stuff them in her bag and leaves. Rory tries to sneak quietly into the class, but as soon as she opens the door, it makes a loud creak. All eyes are on her face, with a paper clip still stuck to her head from sleeping on the desk._

INT:CLASSROOM

RORY: (_to the professor_) I'm sorry.

Professor: Just have a seat.

_She begins to climb the steps of the lecture hall to a seat when the books stuffed haphazardly into her unzippered bag begin to topple out. Again all eyes are on her._

RORY: I'm _so _sorry.

_She begins to pick up her books when she notices an extra pair of hands helping her. She looks up_

OLIVER: (_whispering_) I do this far too often with you.

_He smiles and she smiles in return, mouthing "thank you." Oliver stretches his hand to her forehead and removes the paper clip. Rory blushes as he sticks the paper clip on the page of one of the books and puts it in her bag._

_Later. _

_Class is over. The students are packing up and leaving. Rory exits the class with Oliver._

RORY: Thanks again and I'm really sorry.

OLIVER: I have to say, I'm really impressed. You managed to make it to class later than the professor.

RORY: Yeah, I kind of dozed off studying before class and overslept.

OLIVER: I gathered that from the paper clip.

RORY: Yes, let's be sure to stamp that embarrassing moment securely in my memory.

OLIVER: Hey, I like a girl who can make an entrance. You had the whole room. I would have nixed the apology and done a "devil may care" toss of my hair as I walked boldly to my seat. Whereupon all my books would spill out on the floor and well, welcome to Classic Comedy 101.

RORY: I'd like to see your "devil may care" hair toss.

OLIVER: Well, I just might have to show you one of these days.

_They lapse into amused silence as they walk down the hall_

OLIVER: So um, I'm taking this anthropology class and I read somewhere that there's this long-standing tradition in many parts of the globe whereby if a guy picks up a girl's books more than once, they either get married or go out for coffee together, depending on the hemisphere. Something about latitude and longitude lines and the weather effects on the evolutionary patterns of primates, I don't know.

RORY: Huh. So what is it for this hemisphere?

OLIVER: I think this particular part of the hemisphere is the coffee sector. Of course, I'm just saying this in point of fact. I'm not suggesting anything. If I were trying to suggest something I'd probably be bumbling with inchoate sentences and certainly not as smooth as I am now because I've just never been good at suggesting things like that, and haven't really had a history of favorable response to my suggestions, not that I've never gotten favorable responses to my suggestions because I'm very...suggestive...no, not suggestive. I'm not being suggestive at all. I'm not even suggesting anything, like I said. I'm just saying.

RORY: Right. I totally understand.

OLIVER: Really? Great, good.

RORY: It is tradition, though.

OLIVER: That it is.

RORY: Do we really want to break with tradition?

OLIVER: Yale frowns upon it.

RORY: So I guess we're just going to have to go out for coffee.

OLIVER: And I mean, if we're going to have coffee, we might as well have dinner.

RORY: Might as well.

OLIVER: Tradition's a bitch.

RORY: What can you do?

OLIVER: (_smiling_) So can I pick you up at eight?

RORY: Sure.

OLIVER: Where are you dorming at?

RORY: Um, actually, why don't we meet in front of Sterling?

OLIVER: Okay. See you then. (_smiles_)

RORY: Yeah. (_smiles_)

INT. LUKE'S DINER

_Miss Patty and Babette are seated at a table._

BABETTE: So what's new with you, Patty?

PATTY: Oh I'm a wreck, an absolute wreck.

BABETTE: Why, what's wrong?

PATTY: Well, you remember that young man that I hired as my replacement after I had hurt my ankle and was on crutches?

BABETTE: Do I? I still have dreams about him. Just last night I dreamed that I was Marie Osmond and Morey was Donny and he was that David Cassidy from the Patridge family and he was trying to get me to leave Donny and join his band.

PATTY: Did you?

BABETTE: (_wistfully_) No. I'm faithful even in my dreams. So how comes I haven't seen the kid around anymore?

PATTY: Well, that's what I was getting to. Since I got off the crutches, there was no reason for me to keep him any more. But I tried. Oh did I try! But my students were begging for me and he was such a good sport, he decided it would be better for him to leave so that I could take up my post again.

BABETTE: Your students were begging for _you?_

PATTY: You sound surprised.

BABETTE: No offense, Patty, but if I had to choose between that nice looking young man bouncing his little rear up and down in a leotard and you, well...

PATTY: Yeah, I don't blame you. So you can imagine what this is like for me. I go from seeing that man every other weekday to this...

_Patty gestures at the plain men at the diner_

BABETTE: I see what you mean.

_Luke comes around to the next table and collects the plates._

BABETTE: Well, Luke's got a nice set of buns.

PATTY: This is my only consolation prize. I come in here and follow those buns every chance I get.

BABETTE: You better watch out his girlfriend don't catch you.

PATTY: The lawyer? I'm not worried about her at all. It'll never last.

BABETTE: What do you mean?

PATTY: Just follow the buns, sweetheart. Watch and learn.

_Kirk enters._

KIRK: Luke, I need you to do me a favor.

LUKE: What is it, Kirk?

KIRK: Could you call Lorelai and tell her you would like to know where she keeps the old TV Guides?

LUKE: But I don't want to know where she keeps the old TV Guides.

KIRK: Wouldn't you like to know so that you could tell me.

LUKE: No.

KIRK: Come on, Luke.

LUKE: Look, if you want, you can use the phone here. Call her and ask her yourself.

KIRK: I can't.

LUKE: Why not?

KIRK: We are currently not on speaking terms.

LUKE: What happened?

KIRK: I really don't want to talk about it.

LUKE: Did you check the recycling bin?

KIRK: I'm not on garbage pick up this week.

LUKE: I mean, did you check Lorelai's recycling bins for the old tv guides.

KIRK: Come to think of it, I didn't. But why would she throw out old TV Guides?

LUKE: I'm guessing 'cause they're old.

KIRK: They're collector's items.

LUKE: So go collect them from the garbage and get outta here.

_Kirk turns to leave when Lorelai enters. Kirk turns back to Luke._

KIRK: So Luke, what's your portfolio looking like?

LUKE: My what?

KIRK: I hear junks are the way to go.

LUKE: What?

KIRK: Seen any baseball games lately?

LUKE: I have. Have you?

KIRK: Well, no. Why don't you tell me about them?

LUKE: Kirk, I'm running a business here. I have customers.

KIRK: Really? I don't see any. Where do you see a customer? (_looks askance at Lorelai_) You mean that? Might want to get rid of her quick; she's scaring all the customers.

LORELAI: (_rolling her eyes_) I was going to order dinner here, Luke, but I didn't realize the place was rodent infested.

LUKE: Now just stop it right there. You can't say rodent in a diner. It's like saying fire in a crowded building.

KIRK: Some people have no class.

LUKE: And you, stop insulting the customers. What the hell is wrong with you two?

_Kirk and Lorelai remain silent looking away_

LUKE: Look, whatever problem you've got, either take it outside or drop it here. Pretend you're both mature adults.

KIRK: She started it.

LORELAI: No, he did.

LUKE: That's it. I'm separating you two. You over there (_pointing Kirk to the left corner of the diner_) and you over there (_pointing Lorelai to the right_).

They walk to their separate corners like pouty children. Luke shakes his head and his eyes land on Patty and Babette who are looking at him, smiling and waving hello. He sighs and walks over to Lorelai's table, order pad in hand

INT. NEW HAVEN 

_Rory enters her room. She finds Jess on the phone._

JESS: (_on the phone_) Probably. See you there, I guess. Good bye.

RORY: Who was that?

JESS: I don't know.

RORY: You called and you don't know who it is?

JESS: I didn't call.

RORY: You answered the phone?!

JESS: It kept ringing and ringing all day and it annoyed me, so yeah I answered it.

RORY: I thought I made the rules very clear.

JESS: You did. I broke one. No big deal. It was just a televangelist doing a survey.

RORY: This time. But next time it could be someone else. It could be the Dean.

JESS: If the Dean is calling you I'm guessing you're already in trouble.

RORY: Don't answer the phone. Ever. Got that?

JESS: Fine.

RORY: Okay. (_she goes into the closet. Jess picks up a book_)

JESS: What are we doing about dinner?

RORY: (_from inside the closet_) I don't know what _you're_ going to do. I have a date.

_Jess looks up from his book, a little staggered. He quickly brushes it off._

JESS: Who's the guy?

RORY: You wouldn't know him.

JESS: How long have you two been going out?

RORY: It's none of your business.

JESS: Didn't say it was. But I bet it's your knack for small talk he loves most about you.

RORY: If you must know, (_Jess rolls his eyes_) it's our first date.

JESS: When's he coming over?

RORY: He's not. I'm meeting him at the library.

JESS: Ashamed of him?

RORY: No. I'm ashamed of you. (_coming out of the closet_) I didn't mean it like that...I...you know what, I don't care (_goes back into the closet_)

_Jess gets up and walks over to her books. He picks one out and begins to look through it. An eyebrow raises. He picks up another one and flips through it and looks at the rest of the books._

JESS: You got new books.

RORY: (_still in the closet_) What?

JESS: All of your books are new. Like they've never been read.

RORY: (_out of the closet_) Not all of them.

JESS: Most of them.

RORY: So I bought new books. I figured it was time.

JESS: Time for new books?

RORY: Yeah, why not?

JESS: Why?

RORY: Maybe because you defaced all my old ones with your stupid handwriting. (_back into the closet_)

JESS: Huh. So when was this?

RORY: I don't know. About a month ago.

JESS: And I thought I couldn't upset you when I wasn't here.

RORY: (_out from the closet_) Don't flatter yourself. It was a practical decision. Your notes were smudging the pages, they looked gross. It was distracting. I bought new clean copies. Simple as that. (_Rory walks up and takes the book out of his hand and puts it back on the shelf._) Do me a favor and don't mess these up.

_Jess raises his hands and backs away from the bookcase. He picks up his own tattered book again and settles on the bed. Rory goes in the bathroom to change._

JESS: (_mutters_) Bitch.

_It seems like mere moments when she comes out of the bathroom dressed simply but elegantly, putting on a pair of earrings._

JESS: You're not wearing those shoes are you?

RORY: No. I thought about it but...wait, why do you ask?

JESS: They just look uncomfortable. For being so big on rules, you should know that's the number one cardinal rule on dating. Never go on a first date with uncomfortable shoes.

RORY: Well they're not uncomfortable.

JESS: So why are you changing them?

RORY: I'm not.

JESS: Suit yourself.

RORY: Anyway, I have to go. Remember, don't answer the phone. (_leaves_)

INT. LUKE'S DINER 

_Kirk has left the diner. Luke brings over Lorelai's order_

LUKE: So come on, what's going on with you and Kirk?

LORELAI: I really don't want to talk about it.

LUKE: That bad, eh? You'd think you two were married.

LORELAI: (_raising the fork threateningly_) Don't you start.

LUKE: Fine.

LORELAI: What happened to the music?

LUKE: I don't know. I was listening to the tape. All this schmaltzy music. Not really my style.

LORELAI: I can't say I thought you were a Monkees fan.

LUKE: I _hated_ them. That stupid TV show.

LORELAI: Yeah, I know. But at least they gave us white out.

LUKE: You'd have to be high on it to like them.

LORELAI: You sure let Nicole think you loved the tape.

LUKE: Well, yeah, because that's what you do.

LORELAI: Huh?

LUKE: Yeah. You pretend like you like something the other person likes to keep the peace.

LORELAI: In other words, you completely deny your own personality to appease the other person?

LUKE: Exactly.

LORELAI: Whatever happened to honesty being the key to every healthy relationship.

LUKE: Who needs a key when the window's open? All I'm saying is that it's best not to complicate things. But with a little compromise, some white lies like saying you like something when you'd rather bang your head against the wall, that's how you make a relationship work.

LORELAI: So it's really small installments of accumulating deception that's the key to a healthy relationship. That sounds about right.

LUKE: I rest my case.

LORELAI: Hey, dating a lawyer doesn't make you one. And you can say what you want but your little white lie solution is just...like the Monkee's white out. It's only a temporary solution.

LUKE: How's white out a temporary solution?

LORELAI: Ask Mickey Dolenz' accountant.

LUKE: Hey, I don't exactly see you being the expert on social bliss right now.

_Nicole comes into the diner._

LORELAI: Look, forget it. It's none of my business. Anyway, I have to go. Better put the tape back on. Hope you have a lot of white out to sniff.

LUKE: Don't you worry about me. I know what I'm doing.

LORELAI: Next time I'll have to watch and learn.

_Lorelai leaves. Luke stays in his spot for a moment, then joins Nicole at the counter_

INT. NEW HAVEN 

_Jess is listening to music in the room on head phones. The phone rings. He stops his music to answer, but thinks better of it. The answering machine picks up._

ANSWERING MACHINE: Hey, this is Rory. I guess I'm not here but if you leave a message I'll get back you. Okay, bye.

RORY: Jess, it's Rory. Pick up.

_Jess smirks and puts back on his headphones, still not turning on the music._

RORY: Oh, very funny Jess. Come on, pick up. I need you to bring me another pair of shoes. I'm at this Italian restaurant and we're waiting to be seated and there's trays of things with spaghetti sauce all over the place and I can't walk in these shoes and I foresee disaster happening. Please, pick up. Jess! Come on. I really can't walk in these. (_pauses_) Fine. Be that way. (_click_)

_Jess almost laughs audibly and turns back on his music. A full 5 seconds pass. He stops the music._

JESS: Dammit!

_He picks up a pair of Rory's shoes and leaves._

INT. ITALIAN RESTAURANT 

_Rory and Oliver are still waiting to be seated. Oliver looks repeatedly at this beeper._

OLIVER: We should have been beeped twenty minutes ago. This place is usually good about that.

RORY: Maybe the thing is broken.

OLIVER: I should go check.

RORY: I think I'll wait right here.

OLIVER: Okay.

_Rory leans against the wall next to a plant._

RORY: (_to the plant_) Don't make any sudden movements because I have no control of my feet right now and things will get ugly.

PLANT: Psst.

_Rory gets startled and almost tips the plant over. Jess grabs her steady from the other side of the plant._

JESS: Hey, you'll blow my cover. Here are your shoes.

RORY: What?

JESS: Just put them on and pass me the other ones.

_Rory takes the shoes from Jess._

RORY: But they don't match what I'm wearing.

JESS: Hey, I just went around to every Italian restaurant and quasi-Italian restaurant in New Haven. You wanted shoes, you're wearing the damn shoes.

RORY: Yes, okay, you're right. Thank you.

_They make the switch quickly as Oliver is returning. Jess retreats behind the plant, and he and Rory exchange small smiles as he leaves._

OLIVER: Well, I had to sleep with a couple of waitresses and one bus boy but we've got a table.

RORY: Great. _(they start walking)_

OLIVER: Hey, what happened to you?

RORY: What?

OLIVER: You're walking normally.

RORY: I made my peace with gravity.

OLIVER: Good to hear.

_Later._

_Rory and Oliver are eating, talking, laughing._

RORY: You know, you kind of remind me of a guy I knew in High School.

OLIVER: Really? An ex boyfriend?

RORY: (_momentarily hesitates_)... (_laughs lightly_) No, he was Mr. Personality/King of the school kind of guy.

OLIVER: (_laughs_) Oh wow, I've never quite gotten that before

RORY: Really?

OLIVER: Oh yeah. In High School I was kind of a...

RORY: Geek?

OLIVER: Ineffectual. (_pauses_) How'd I got from Mr. Popularity to geek in your eyes so fast?

_Rory smiles, amused_

OLIVER: But yeah. I was painfully shy. The kind of guy that most people didn't notice if I were in the room

RORY: Really? I can't see that.

OLIVER: Yeah, well, when I got to college it was, and please pardon the expression, a whole new world. I got the chance to start over. New state, new school, new people who haven't known me since I ate paste...

_Rory smiles_

RORY: You ate paste?

OLIVER: Oh yeah, it was great.

RORY: Any recommendations?

OLIVER: I'd start off with Elmers and work my way up to the harder stuff.

RORY: Good to know.

_Oliver smiles_

RORY: But I know what you mean. I grew up in a really small town. And while it was great because it was like I had this huge family who cared about and looked out for me; at the same time... the guy who owns the diner tried to beat up my first boyfriend when he broke up with me.

OLIVER: (_laughing_) Really?

RORY: Yeah.

OLIVER: Wow.

RORY: I got chocolate chip pancakes out of it, though.

OLIVER: So it's all good then.

INT. LUKE'S DINER 

_Luke is closing up. Nicole helps put up the chairs._

NICOLE: You know, you should consider sprucing the place up a bit.

LUKE: What do you mean?

NICOLE: I don't know. Maybe some thematic posters on the wall. It's got a quaint feel to it. Maybe a 1950s theme. Or you can go for an edgier 1920s theme.

LUKE: I don't know. I kind of like it like this.

NICOLE: It's nice just the way it is. I'm just saying there are ways to make it better, do something ambitious.

_Luke remains silent._

NICOLE: I'm not saying you have to decide today. It's just something to think about. Anyway, I'm going to head upstairs. See you in a bit.

LUKE: Yeah. I'll be right up.

_Nicole goes upstairs. Luke is scrubbing down the counters when Kirk comes to the door._

LUKE: (_goes over_) Kirk, the diner's closed.

KIRK: Please. I just need a cup of tea to calm me down.

_Luke sighs and opens up_

LUKE: You and Lorelai still at it?

KIRK: She's unbearable.

LUKE: So why don't you just move out?

KIRK: And where would I go?

LUKE: Not here, I can tell you that much.

KIRK: Lorelai may have her bad points. We're nothing alike. She's picky and controlling and she talks too fast and she just won't give science fiction a chance! (_pause_) But at the end of the day, she's there. I'm not alone. You know?

LUKE: (_very seriously_) Actually, I do.

KIRK: I'll just take that tea to go.

_Luke hands him a to-go cup of hot water and a tea bag._

LUKE: Cheers.

KIRK: Thanks.

_Luke locks the door. He goes back to the counter and takes the radio. He looks at it and pulls out the tape. He smiles, puts it in the pocket of his flannel and heads upstairs._

INT. GILMORE HOUSE 

_Kirk enters. Lorelai is laughing at the TV. When she sees Kirk, she stops laughing and squints her eyes angrily. Kirk tries to follow suit, but relents. Lorelai notices._

KIRK: Lorelai, maybe we've taken this too far.

LORELAI: I guess, maybe.

KIRK: I mean, it all started with...

LORELAI: With...

KIRK: The thing...

LORELAI: Right, the thing...Don't tell me we don't even remember what we're fighting about.

KIRK: Well, I know I don't.

LORELAI: Neither do I.

KIRK: I guess we got a little carried away.

LORELAI: It's been a while since I've had a good fight with someone.

KIRK: You fight with Luke all the time.

LORELAI: But it's different with Luke.

KIRK: Yeah, I know what you mean. Everyone fights with Luke.

LORELAI: Exactly.

KIRK: I don't want to fight like this again.

LORELAI: Oh come on. It's our first real fight. It's a milestone. You'll get used to it eventually.

KIRK: Really?

LORELAI: Well, probably not, but that's what makes us not Luke.

KIRK: So we're good now.

LORELAI: We're cool.

KIRK: Well, I'm going to go to the room and watch Star Trek voyager on the small TV.

LORELAI: Kirk, you can watch it out here. I'll watch it with you.

KIRK: You will?

LORELAI: Actually, I'd rather bang my head on the wall. But I'll watch Taxi on the small TV this time.

_They smile_

EXT. NEW HAVEN 

_Rory and Oliver are returning from their date. Jess is at the window smoking and he sees them from above._

OLIVER: So whether it was all that second-hand pot I inhaled my first year here--because yes, I did inhale-- or the pony that knocked me on my head at the zoo when I was seven, in the end, I ended up declaring a philosophy as my major.

_Rory smiles_

RORY: Well, this is me.

OLIVER: I was here the first half of my sophomore year. Good place. Couldn't stand my roommate.

_Rory nods_

OLIVER: Well, I should let you go up and get some sleep. Wouldn't want you to make it late to another class with paper clips impressed on your forehead.

RORY: You just won't let it go, will you?

_They laugh_

OLIVER: Good night, Rory.

RORY: Good night.

_Oliver begins to turn away but turns back_

OLIVER: Okay, so, traditionally at the end of an evening like tonight the guy is required to see the girl off with a goodnight kiss.

RORY: Well, what can you do? It's tradition.

OLIVER: (_shrugs_) Tradition's a bitch.

RORY: Yeah.

_They smile awkwardly. Finally, Oliver leans in and kisses her. Upstairs, Jess puts out his cigarette and closes the window. **Song: Goodnight Sweet Girl, by Ghost of the Robot**. When Rory comes in, Jess is sitting on the bed reading, feigning casual._

JESS: (_nonchalant_) So how was it?

RORY: It was okay. Um, thank you for... well, you know... for the shoes.

Jess: Whatever.

_Rory nods and goes to the bathroom to change to her pjs. She comes out shyly and sits on her bed and if searching for something she wants to say. Finally..._

RORY: I'm gonna go to bed.

JESS: Yeah ok. Me too, I guess.

_Rory goes to her bed and turns off the table light_

RORY: 'Night, Jess

JESS: 'Night, Rory.

_song continues_

_They both lie there in the dark on their backs staring up at the ceiling in silence.  
  
_

_**"Good Night Sweet Girl"  
  
**Are we done for now,  
Or is this for good,  
Will there be something in time?  
With us there should.  
  
Only girl for me is you  
There can be no other one  
If I didn't have faith  
I would come undone  
  
So much promise in your eyes  
Seems that I can only see  
It always makes me wonder  
If you save it all for me  
  
Maybe you do  
Maybe you don't  
Maybe you should  
Probably wont...  
  
Because there will be...  
  
There will be other guys  
Who will whisper in your ear  
Say they'll take away you sadness  
And your fears  
  
They may be kind and true  
They may be good for you  
But they'll never care for you  
More than I do  
  
I'll be always there  
There to the end  
I can't do much  
But be your one true friend  
  
To the end  
Through the end  
Our lives to spend  
With each other till the end  
Of time...  
  
Still see the promise in your eyes  
And still wonder if it's for me  
But i know it's still there  
Even when you sleep  
  
So I say, good night sweet girl_


End file.
